Not That Bad I Guess

The last paper is over.Its all said and done.It was a little tricky,I have to say and I'm not sure I can get that A I wanted for PR but right now I am going to be done with all that and be stupid about it.Its something I do so I don't worry my face off about the results.I'm going to forget about the exams totally and enjoy the 1 month vacation.An ex-teacher of mine once said that it was pointless to think about the exams once it was done and its kinda makes sense to me cos I can only make my next move when I get my results back.

My last post regarding MJ may be a bit off.When I received an instant message from MJ saying she was sorry that she had deleted the picture of her face but she just didn't like having her face on someone else's phone or computer.I replied by telling her that I was sorry for my stupid mistake and stuff like that.She said that it was okay.Unless she's hiding her true feelings then its good for me.

Oooh,and,and I was going through my phone and I found a message written in the organizer of the phone.I was very surprised to see a message already stored in there as the phone had just been rebooted and I had not written any new notes in my organiser.

It turns out that MJ had left me a small message =) It was nothing major.She left the note after she deleted the picture,apologising but gave her reason why.It was my fault and I disrespected her privacy but hey,I said that already in the last post.She also added that she liked my phone and ended with a smiley face.So that smiley face,a good thing I guess.

I'm glad she likes my phone.Finally she sees it,after I've had the phone for 3 months.So I think things are not as bad as I initially thought.

No ideas on how to start the holidays.Guess the holiday feeling hasn't sunk in yet.Maybe it will tomorrow.I should get ideas on what to do during the holidays soon.

MJ maybe okay with it(I really hope she's okay with it) but I still hold my hands up and say that I made a mistake.I wish I could one day get her consent for a photo of her on my phone but that is faraway dreaming.Can't help wishing...

Desole

One last paper tomorrow before I'm home free.Its in the middle of the day at 3 so I still have some time to squeeze in some last minute studying.Cramming for the Public Relations mock exam 2 Fridays ago means that I don't have anything new to learn.That makes thimgs alot easier.Can't wait for the moment I walk out of the classroom after handing in the paper.

I watched the District (Banlieue) 13,the Luc Besson movie today.For 7 bucks,I have to say that it was well worth the movie.A good action flick with elements of parkour and fighting.Set in a lawless city with 2 heroes against gun-toting thugs,throw in a missile bomb and you have a story.Sure there's no developed characters with a deep plot.But you'll only be disappointed if you go in and expect too much.Just enjoy the action.It will be a movie that I hope to own on DVD.Actually released in 2004 in France.It has only come to Singapore in 2006.Better late than never.

Right,I played goalie at the soccer court and I'm not too pleased with myself.I haven't played in a long time and I am not doing my best and as goalie that means the team has a higher chance of losing.I even came away with a strained left thigh,no idea how I got it.Unhappy with my performances and I look to do better next time.

Oh,guess what...I gave my phone before the game to MJ's bro for safekeeping at and he kept it in his house.I totally forgot that MJ's face was my wallpaper and she would see that ! When I pointed this out to her bro,he said that she already knew and had previously asked him to delete the picture. I was certainly surprised that she knew(a friend of mine had told her about it),it was no surprise later when I was returned the phone and MJ had deleted the picture and replaced my wallpaper of her face with Roswell Girl.

I'd much rather have MJ then Roswell Girl.

I was thinking about it on the bus ride home.It may seem like nothing but I now realise that I was disrespecting her as a girl and as a person.Even if I liked her I shouldn't have taken her photo just like that.It is UNGENTLEMANLY to do such a thing.So in my personal space her in this blog I now state for the record,that I am sorry that I did such an offensive thing to her.I don't know for sure how she feels exactly but the fact that she wants it and has deleted the picture of her seems to show that she doesn't like it.

If only I can find the courage to apologise to her.I can but honestly I'd rather do it when we're face to face.An apology via instant messaging sounds insincere to me.

OH BLOODY HELL.GUESS I SCREWED UP AGAIN.NO SURPRISE.

I know she hasn't said anything about it or reprimanded me for taking her picture without her permission but my conscience tells me that after knowing she wants it deleted,I have done something wrong and should look to right it or make amends.

But it seems like she'll never give me a chance.Just like in the song

Wanted to post up the song(the lyrics) that I wrote about her but I have decided not to.You readers are gonna think its lame(it kind of is) and laugh at me(more).Its not a supercool rap song but its a sappy one like Ryan Cabrera's songs.All I can say about the song is that I didn't really plan to write it but the words and the idea suddenly just came one night when I couldn't get to sleep.

Hi You ! And You Too !

Oh bugger....can't bloody believe it.I forgot that 26 March,whichis today,is Keira Knightley's birthday.I'm a fan but I only realised it when I saw in IMDB.com's 'Born Today' section.Happy 21st birthday Keira !!!.If she was Singaporean,she would be able to celebrate by going to the cinemas to catch an R21 movie.

Again,happy birthday to Keira,an actress who I honestly think is a brilliant young actress.Plus she's pretty too and don't forget that killer Brtish accent of hers.

It may be a good sign that I forgot.Let me explain.Last year I totally remembered cos I had WAY too much time on my hands.Not so this year.Besides being occupied with MJ,I have school to think about as well.

Exams start tomorrow.Confident for 2 papers,not so for 1.Got 2 days to work on that one.Confident but I have to be careful still for the other 2.Especially Business Communication.Been told to keep it simple instead of doing it story-length style like I tend to do.

Saw an ad in the paper showing Luc Besson's latest movie.Banlieue(District) 13 which I wanted to watch.Found out yesterday through imdb.com about its synopsis and it has major elements of parkour in it which I liked ever since I saw Yamakasi a few years back.Not a practising enthusiast though.I just like it for a very simplistic reason.Its cool to see people jumping freestyle,especially off buildings.Simple,almost moronic,yet entertaining.Not sure when I'll watch it yet,maybe Tuesday since I don't have a paper on Wednesday.Will watch it alone if I have to.No choice if I want to watch it,I may have to go solo.

I miss Roswell Girl.Well not really.Just miss the conversations.Its nice to talk to her,especially if she's super perky that day.Though to be quite honest,I'd rather have them with MJ.

Damn.

I just realised that this is another example of the wrong girl at the wrong time.I'm talking to Roswell Girl and getting to know her better and even getting to know about her situation regarding her boy.I'm getting closer,through the use of conversations.But its happening with Rowell Girl and NOT MJ....which kinda sucks in some ways.Not this one ! The other girl !

Sigh. *shakes head*

Still,talking to Roswell is a pretty good thing.I know I'm not gonna get too much progress with MJ tomorrow cos I'll be too busy with exams so I'll very sensibly take the Roswell situation.

Quote Unquote

Man,I don't know if I should be or whether its normal but right now,I'm kind of missing MJ.After a couple of days riding the crest in the MJ situation,there hasn't been much activity these past few days.Like I said I haven't thought of what topics I could talk about.Substansial topics too, not just stuff that gives me awkward monosyallbic replies.I want us to engage in interesting conversations when we do have one.

Still,is it okay that I miss her? I know I always do but...oh, I don't know.

There was a scene froma movie,Chasing Liberty where Mandy Moore's character tells Matthew Goode's character,the guy who has a crush on her to get on with it and just say it out and after much reluctance he says: Ok, alright! Because I'm jealous as hell. Because I'd hate to see you with Gus because I'd hate to see you with any other man. Because not only did I adore kissing you in Venice, but also because I'm so un-bloody-hinged just being near you.

I like that last line cos it strikes a chord with me.'I'm so un-bloody-hinged being near you.'

Well MJ, I,am so bloody un-bloody-hinged just thinking about you.Let alone being near you.

Sometimes a little teensy-weensy bit of jealousy creeps in too.It shouldn't cos I have no right to feel that way.

Its just one of those days I guess...sigh.

Gonna have to go collect my phone.But at 530pm? I wish it was in the early afternoon at least instead of being at such an inconvenient time.

Ha! It was the last day of school on Friday and I didn't go.Not on purpose.I was supposed to be there by 8 but I had just woken up at that time.Nice.No real loss cos the class wouldn't have been doing anything anyway.But it is a little sad cos the next time I'd be seeing my class is when I turn up for the exams and no one has any mood for anything else except that.So today was the time to say our goodbyes for the semester.There's one gal I won't be seeing cos she's moving on somewhere else.I would have liked to be there to feel the class atmosphere which I do like at times.

Ah,no biggie cos its not like I won't be seeing my class again.

MJ !!!!! MJ !!!!!

LOL....hilarious...

or actually, a little lame and phatetic.

Whatever.

Erm...

Tomorrow is the last day of school.I feel a little reflective but relieved as well.This time next week I would have finished with all my exams and would be in a celebratory mood.Can't wait.I also heard that next semester is going to be pretty light and we may be going home a little more earlier.Hope that we get a kick-ass timetable.

I feel a little bummed out.About MJ.We don't meet at all and its difficult to find things that I could talk to her about.I wish she found find me easy to just start talking to just like that even though there is no particular topic to talk about,I wish she'd start talking to me cos its a bit hard for me to keep doing it everytime with nothing to talk about.It doesn't help that I'm still a little shy(not scared) when there is nothing concrete to talk about.The fact that she has seemingly guarded personality doesn't help.

The next step is for me to start talking to her face to face but that's easier said than done cos she doesn't come down that often anymore.Her down when I'm there? A rare sight.If i can see her then it would make it easier for me to talk to her and that would allow us more things that we could then talk about.

The hols are comin in 7 days so I will have some time to figure something out.

Verse/Bridge/Chorus

I'm a little lazy to explain but I had to send in my phone for repair.Nothing serious.I'll lose all the data in it so that's a bummer.Not only that but I have to wait till Saturday 5.30-ish before I can get it back.Its gonna be a weird couple of days without my phone =(

Forgot to mention that I was also done with my Event Management presentation on Tuesday as well.This means that I am finally free from the bane of projects.BOUT TIME TOO ! As if to add some sort of proper closure to all that,we had cake and juice to recognise the hard work the class had done with their projects.

Had the sudden ugre to go on a solo trip again to catch a movie.Cos sometimes it is difficult to get people for a movie.But I'll go solo only when the buzz for that movie is dying down so there will be very little people in the theatre.It is rather unsettling to be all alone in a movie theatre full of people that are in there,not alone.'V For Vendetta' looks more intriguing.Especially cos Hugo Weaving(Agent Smith/Matrix,Elrond/Lord of the Rings) is the lead and he makes 'V',the title character,very interesting.Maybe after that I'll go catch The New World starring Colin Farrell & Christian Bale.Very,very interested to see for myself how good Q'Orianka Kilcher can act.Heard she does that very well as Pocahantas and she's only 16.Born in Germany but her heritage is all over the place.

Plus she's rumoured to be dating Mr Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe.Just a rumour though.

I have a small task to complete.Ya see,Roswell Girl saw something in my notebook.It was a song I had written about MJ and now she asks(not that seriously) if I could help her and write a song about her and her boy.From her to him.Personally I would be glad to help cos I think that they should be together.The problem is I don't know if I can come up with a song that is decent enough.Looks like I'll have to try no matter what.Oh by the way,the song that I wrote is titled 'Give Me A Chance'.

Had a small chat with MJ just for about 5 mins but the difference is this time she started the conversation and asked me a question or two about a matter she was wondering about.

2 days of school left.Exactly 8 hours of lessons.4 hours each day.I have to conduct a crash course on Event Management theory soon.I think I may do well enough to get an A for my Public Relations mock exam.A good sign,for one module at least.

Don't expect it to happen but I may have a study date with Roswell on Sunday.Whatever,as long as I get more studying in before the exams next week.

Lovers Of The Heart

Found this article on my my Friendster's bulletin and I thought that it was really nice.People may have seen this before but hey....

*

In order to form a more perfect kiss,enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.

Article 1:Statement of Love: The Kiss

1.Kiss on the hand: I adore you

2.Kiss on the cheek: I just want to be friends

3.Kiss on the neck: I want you

4.Kiss on the lips: I love you

5.Kiss on the ears: I am just playing

6.Kiss anywhere else: lets not get carried away

7.Look in your eyes: kiss me

8.Playing with your hair: I can't live without you

9.Hand on your waist: I love you too much to let you go


Article 2:The Three Steps

1.Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2.Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3.Guys & Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.


Article 3:The Commandments

1.Thou shall not squeeze too hard.

2.Thou shall not ask for a kiss,but take one.

3.Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.* Remember *A peach is a peach,A plum is a plum,A kiss isn't a kiss.Without some tongue.So open up your mouth,close your eyes,and give your tongue some exercise!!!

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls: (Blogger's note: I personally agree with the nos. 1,3,9,11,13 & 24)

1.They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2.The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3.How cute they look when they sleep

4.The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6.How cute they are when they eat

7.The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8.Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.The way they look good no matter what they wear

10.The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11.How cute they are when they argue

12.The way her hand always finds yours

13.The way they smile

14.The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight

15.The way she says"lets not fight anymore"even though you know thatan hour later....

16.The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17.The way they kiss you when you say"I love you"

18.Actually ...just the way they kiss you...

19.The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20.Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21.The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22.Then the way they apologize when it does hurt.(even though we don't admit it)!

23.The way they say"I miss you"

24.The way you miss them

25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....Yet regardless,if you love them,hate them,wish they would die or know that you would die without them ...it matters not.Because once in your life,whatever they were to the world they become everything to you.When you look them in the eyes,traveling to the depths of their soul sandyou say a million things without trace of a sound,you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.We love them for a million reasons,No paper would do it justice.It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.A feeling.Only felt.

*

Just thought I'd highlight something different...normal post below.

Keep The Ship Steady

2 days down and there is still 3 more days of school left.Saw off the Public Relations mock exam without too much trouble.You won't find me complaining if it goes that way for the real exam.I think I still can learn enough about Business Communication to do well enough for it but the same can't be said of the Event Management module.I THINK I can pass.Its not really my fault,nor will it be that of the class.The teacher went through 2 units in 20 mins.Express teaching methods I guess.Some of the pages she told us to read through,we are coming across for the 1st time cos she's never gone thru the page before.

Damn what a stupid reason it would be if my grades were pulled down because of a stupid reason like this.I mean,its like she just told us what is gonna come out for the exams and she is telling us to go and read it(study on our own).I understand what the book is saying but I don't understand how it applies to the module.That's what the teacher is SUPPOSED to be there for.To explain it out.

Moving on...

I think I should just take it step by step with MJ and deal with things as they happen instead of 'predicting' what would happen and trying to prepare myself mentally.A little ignorance may be needed here.I don't know,I need to think about this some more;should I be more optimistic(uncaring) or more pessimistic(prepared).

Roswell Girl was real down in school today.I learned that she just wanted to call it off with her boy(they've been at it for about 2 years and 3 months) but he doesn't want to.Not one to dig too deep,i I was kind of unhappy that she was sad.She's my friend and even if I made it a point not to like her anymore,I'm still rather fond of her and I really didn't like to see her sad.I wanted to give her a pack of chocs that I had cos I wanted to cheer her up,tell her not to feel sad no more but I didn't really know how to tell her the reason I wanted to give the chocs to her without sounding weird.

At least she found me cool enough to tell me her personal problem and I can only wish that MJ found me as familiar.

Its difficult,MJ is a more private person and we don't know each other too well.We're friends as in we know each other but we're not too close.I wish we were more close but I guess that is something that I have to work on.Its tough but I guess its my fault for always doing things the hard way.

Like I said,I'm not going to speculate on what happens in the future to MJ cos all I have to do is stay focused on is getting to know her and (sincerely) being her friend.

+ // I hope Roswell Girl will cheer up soon and if I could help her do that I would.

++// In case your wondering...to summarise,I still really like MJ and Roswell Girl is just a friend but she's an especially sweet girl who shouldn't be sad.

The Likely Truth Hurts So

It may sound unbelieveably weird but I am feeling a little down. I don't know why,especially after a day where I managed to cover the remainder of my Public Relations book and I even managed to chat a little to MJ.

I guess it was the worry wart in me that just started thinking after the chat.About the cloud that I had allowed to descend on me.How now,I actually thought that I had more of a chance with her...

Just because I talk to her doesn't mean I have more of a chance.Its all in my head.She probably thinks of me normally.I have to reassess my priorities.

Do I like her? Would I really be okay with leaving us as friends and not trying to chase anything more than that? I do like her...but I was just thinking that I would probably have to accept the fact that the chances of me getting her are very slim.I seem t have conveniently forgotten that when she started talking to me more.

I wonder if she knows that I like her? I think she does but thankfully she still bothers with me and talks to me instead of ignoring me.If she does know and if I let my feelings known in the future,would it be rejected and ruin all the recent good progress I made?That's the infuriating part.

Things are friendly enough between us and I start having this idea that if I tell her when things are even better,she would respond positively.But I am also wary these may just be fantasies in my head and me telling her would actually ruin all the good progress I've recently made.I don't know what I should be thinking.

Right now,all I am doing is trying to talk to her as much as possible,trying to get closer to her.I want her to be able to talk to me if she needs to,I want her to see me as someone that is approachable if she needs anything.I really do...This has been my goal from the start.

It hurts but if we are close friends then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much in some ways(but it will in other ways) cos I realise the fact is that she'll probably fall in love with someone else and not me and I'm just trying to remind myself of this and not be led about like a love-struck fool.And I'm wondering whether I should even try cos if whatever I try fails then it may even cause us not to even friends cos things may become awkward between us and obviously I don't want that.

I gotta go sort myself out.......

Small Steps & Giant Leaps

I feel satisfied today.I've managed to get some significant things done this particular Friday.

I managed yet again to get that picker-upper that I needed.I didn't get to see MJ but I got to speak to her online for quite a good while.I we chatted normally and I was only nervous initially,whether she would respond to my greeting which she did and then we just conversed normally.

It made me pretty happy that I was able to talk to her and it was just the thing that I needed after the irritation of projects in school.I like her yes but I've always said that it would please me if we were friends that talked regularly.Not regular yet but its okay,this is a start.Sure, we're not 'hey lets catch a movie' friends yet but we're definitely 'hey how you doing' friends.

If you were to ask me whether I would consider this the progress that I was looking to make during her break,then I would say yes,not maximum progress but after weeks of inactivity with MJ before,I'll gladly take this.

To top it off I also handled another issue that has been a thorn in my side for the past couple of weeks.

School.Studies to be exact.I wasn't planning to study today but not only did I do that eagerly,I ended it the same way as I managed absorb a fair bit of Public Relations into the noggin.

YAY FOR ME !!

Lol...

Its been a good day in many ways and I'm thankful to God for thatI am aware that tomorrow may suck but hey,that's life.Gonna study a bit more tomorrow and there's the Man Utd game to look forward to as well.Maybe I can talk to MJ sometime soon,tomorrow if I'm lucky.

Crossing The Rainbow To Look For The Pot Of Gold

YAGGH...When will the boredom end ? There's still about 6 days of school left but how come the pressure's not winding down when the semester is?

I still have the Event Management project to think about.Stupid.I would have thought that it would have been over by now and I would be left to study for the exams.But I had to go to my CCA and various module project meetings.All of them down except for this one.

The CCA meeting was a lot of more fun than expected.Maybe more details later.But time is still a factor.I left school yesterday around 615 and only got home around 630.Damn...definitely don't want to have to do that too often.Thankfully,that was the last meeting of the semester.

I have to come up with a form of some sort of the pesky last project.After that it should just be the presentation left to deal with.After that,of course,is the exams before I'm home free.

The one thing that could make all these bearable is the one thing that is not happening.

MJ.

I'm so bloody busy that I haven't had the time to consider coming down to her area.The circumstanses haven't helped either.Maybe this weekend will see something happen for me.I wouldn't say that I'm desperate for it but after weeks of stupid school projects,it would be a super nice thing to happen.A reward? I wouldn't use that word.I'd just want it to happen.Its looking highly unlikely because the opportunities and circumstanses just don't seem to be coming my way.She's mostly somewhere else most of the time.Out with her friends or at home and not coming down.The one time she was around she ran out pretty fast to attend to something else.

I hope that the chances will come along soon enough and not only that but also that I will have enough courage to step up and put these chances away.I think this upcoming weekend would be a good time but then again,circumstanses have been stumbling block many times.I won't be surprised if they surface again this weekend.What do I mean? Maybe she goes out this weekened,maybe I'll have to deal with the project presentation.Maybe my friends won't be free to hang around the area.Stuff like that may just crop up anytime.

I'll just have to wait and see I guess.

C'mon Guys, Give A Guy A Break Will Ya ??

Feeling fidgety and agitated.I was talking about MJ the whole evening and to be perfectly honest I was a little frustrated with MJ's younger bro.Not really at him but thinking about it,he is in a perfect position to help me,with him being in such close proximity to MJ.But he doesn't really act as serious as I need him to be and instead,he keeps pointing out ways how I like his sister.

Dude...I know that you know that I like your sister.Instead of persistently pointing it out,help me instead...its almost kinda frustrating.I have possibly a motherlode of information and updates on MJ but I'm not getting it.But I may not need it

Why?

I have said before that my friends may inadvertedly hinder instead of help me when MJ is around and I'm trying to talk to her.But if I can talk to a particular friend who I know can help and has offered to do so,it would really,well,help.I must catch him in a serious mood though.I may not directly need his help but having him in the loop would make it easier on me as he perhaps would not tease me so much in the future,which would prevent MJ from walking away from any possible irritations and walking away from me leaving me no chance to talk to her.

How I am supposed to? If my friends tease her and she ignores talking to us cos she gets fed up with us then how I am supposed to even get a chance to talk to her?

In case my friends get the wrong idea and think I need them to not help me I now humbly admit that I may need their help...por favor?

With my other mates who know already the whole story and what I'm trying to do,I could actually make real progress if not by this week then sometime soon.Progress by this week is still a target.

Something To Work With

Suddenly feel like watching the Taxi trilogy.Again.For like the umpteenth time.Its a fun trio of movies to watch.I think it ties in with my interest in wanting to learn foreign languages, particularly French.Maybe I'll watch it during the upcoming holidays.I'll try to get my friends in but its highly unlikely seeing as how they are rather uninterested this kind of movies.

Only 2 weeks plus to my hols but perhaps more importantly 2 weeks to my exams.One piece of roleplay still to go through for Public Relations but that'll be over by Tuesday and won't be hanging over my head for too long and that's good.My Event Management report has still a bit more to go but I don't really look at it dsy by day but instead at the whole 2 weeks,which I think is a very short time and this thinking will help me get thru it as quickly as possible.

I think my agenda for the whole of this week is to talk/interact with MJ and make progress.I see no reason why I shouldn't take advantage of this window of opportunity to do just that.I have an idea how to start but not sure how to sustain it.A start is better than nothing.I just need her to come down to the soccer court and also for not too many people to be around as that would make it more difficult for me to start talking cos there will be alot of teasing if I try.Its possible to get such conditions if I go and hang around the soccer court at the right time.I think I'll try that some time this week.I'll have to see how the week goes.

Its all just to talk and just to make me and her more comfortable talking to each other cos we haven't done much of that recently.It'll help us grow as friends...sounds corny but I don't really care much.So I hope the time will come this week where I can have the chance and there aren't many people around when I talk to her.Really,I'm sure that if my friends are around,they will hinder me instead of help cos they will tease me endlessly and both MJ and me will get embarrassed and she'll just walk away from me to avoid the irritation indirectly caused by me.

I heard from her bro that she would be going to Escape Theme Park on Monday.Hope she'll have real good fun :)

It would really be a waste if I don't make use of this week.

Progress ?

I saw MJ a time or two yesterday.I think my 'plan' if you will is working out.I'm not freaking out when I'm around her.Nervous yes but that can be overcome.Just a slight problem.

My friends don't believe me.I don't care about that exactly.They do a couple of things that are cringe-worthy and make me afraid that MJ may get irritated with me when they tease her because of me.

For example,when we were walking past her and her friends they kept pointing her out to me.I didn't need them to do that.Saying it once will be fine.Comments were made as we came closer.Unnecessary ones.Besides,they didn't know that we had seen each other earlier just for a lil while and we exchanged a few words.

She stayed only for a while and went off with her friends just a bit later.I hope she comes down more often during the break.She deserves it in my opinion.She's got 2 CCAs in school and she's a prefect as well (and to my mate:yes I know,you had a way heavier workload...) and that is reason enough for me to relax when given the chance.

I know my friends mean well and all and if they really are supportive of my effots then I genuinely thank them,its just that they indeed make cringe-worthy remarks that I'm afraid MJ wil take the wrong way and may not wanna hang with us at all,which is bad news for me.I've said this before,I do wish for some alone time with MJ, just to talk,no interruptions.

What I need now is more reasons,more topics to talk to her.I'll have to deal with the nervousness as it comes but I really believe that I have no reasons to lose my senses everytime I get near her.However,it doesn't mean I'll go into gung-ho mode.I'll be calculative and plan my moves and actions.

I don' t know honestly but I won't be surprised if there are people who know of and think my efforts regarding MJ as a big joke and they laugh at me secretly.To this people I say laugh away.I've had to endure that while growing up cos at times I really may seem awkward.It hurts sometimes but I'll pick myself up and go at it again.Call that foolish? Yeah,maybe.

But I'm the freak with a rebel streak.The idiot who refuses to accept his social label.I don't care much for what others think of my efforts regarding MJ,I've already said and all I want are opportunities to get to know MJ,in the way that friends do.God-willing,it might happen.

Its Just Talk

Jessica Alba Keira Knightley

At the recent Oscars,it was very very nice to hear that 2 of my faves got plaudits for their fashion choices....damn,yeah,they look good.Especially Keira.

20 days and counting to the exams.I honestly can't seem to find time.I think I'm gonna disappear for a couple of days from my friends for my studies sake.Maybe I'll come down on Friday.

Had a chat with MJ online :) Tried to persuade her to come down and play soccer,just to relax after weeks of stress in school.She said she'd think about it.So we'll see if she does.This is her last week of school before her one week break.She's looking forward to the break and so am I cos I sort of wanna see her and hope she decides to come down.

It was pretty nice to talk to her after a while.I decided to stop being a wuss and just start talking to her and hey,whaddaya know,it turned out pretty well.Lets hope it'll be just as easy when I see her in person.

I think it will.I mean,I just started to think and it hit me that its not that difficult to talk to a girl.I talk to girls in my school all the time.My classmates are girls and I talk to them fine.Big difference is that I'm rather fond of MJ but that doesn't mean I can't talk to her.I'm not saying that I'll talk to her smoothly without any nervousness but the idea is there.May work out,may not.

Right now I have a report due tomorrow and I am at a loss on how to start it out.Maybe having dinner will help.

Dosvedanya n hasta luego,muchachos.

Beep Beep Beep BOOM !

Seriously,I have no idea where I stand at this moment. I may think that things between me and MJ are better but that could be my imagination.For all I know that there may be a secret that's not being told to me.She could be peeved by all my efforts and actually wants to be left alone.I swear I haven't got a clue.

Taking a trip into paranoia,she could even have told my friends what she thought about me and they're not telling.

Reason why I'm so paranoid is cos after weeks of positivity,I just realised that I'm walking on a 'minefield' and one wrong move may see all be efforts blown up.I'm walking into this thing blindfolded cos like I said,I have no idea how she feels about the things I'm trying to do.

Does she like them? Does she hate them? Does she even care?

Questions run rampant through my cranium.I don't think they are going to get answered anytime soon.They may be in part IF I get to see her.But that seems unlikely.See,that's the part I hate.Unanswered questions.I need answers but I don't know where to find them.

Maybe if the whole world disappeared for a day except us,I could have the chance to sit down to talk to he,how about that? Is that what its going to take for me to see her.

Yikes,I'm kinda creeping myself out here...I have to take a breather and just be patient instead of going all psycho.Would appreaciate clues though.Lets see if fate decides to throw them my way.

To Be Seen & Heard

YESSS...my Public Relations campaign is over & done with.Monkey off my back,that.Questions were fired on the validity of our research but they were handled admirably in a united stand.Everyone's getting sick of the teacher,who's pompous & condescending attitude grows by the day.She wasn't anything like this before but more so as the project deadline grew closer.

Moving on...

About 3 weeks left before the exams so I have to really get to it and study.Tempted to come down and hang with my friends but I will have to resist.Maybe not tomorrow cos tomorrow's Friday and its my best chance I have in the week to see MJ.

Caught a glimpse of Roswell Girl's blog and it turns out hers has the same background as mine.She wouldn't let me see it initially but when she saw me perusing through mine,she wanted to read it and offered to let me read hers in exchange.She said that we could share.The thing is,her blog is like an actual diary.Not even her boy knows she has a blog.I had access to some real,private information BUT I decided not to take the offer.It would be pretty awkward if she found out who Roswell Girl was...her.The repercussions are too great.

I don't know if I really am gonna see MJ tomorrow.Probably not,if recent history is anything to go by.But tomorrow is the best day of the week out of any cos she might play soccer and even if its a small chance,its a chance I'll take.