Hark! Here Cometh Thy Break

YARRGH ! So tired...body hurts a little and I have a little bit of a sore throat but I don't think I'll get a fever.Hopefully not.Not with the long-weekend upon me.Its a well timed break,one which I will have to use it too good effect since I will not be getting any more breaks until the end of the exams in March.

I've been regaining interest in tennis.I was too busy to catch the US Open but this time when the Australian Open rolled around,I had enough reason to catch it,but only from the quarter-final stage.The tournament for is about 2 people.Marcos Baghdatis & Martina Hingis.The former is especially impressive seeing as how he comes from a country with no tennis reputation and has beat out seeded players,the biggest scalp being that of Andy Roddick's its but no real surprise given the quality of his tennis and his indomitable fighting spirit,shown when he came back from 2 sets down to win a match against the 4th seeded Argie,David Nalbandian.Brilliant stuff.

As for Martina,she was one of the players I knew when I first got to know about tennis and i'm really glad she's back and she's not done too shabbily going out to a top seed in the quarters.Again,glad to see her back and I hope to see more of her.Hope to catch more tennis on the telly

I fear that MJ is gonna dislike me(more than she already does) simply because a couple of people I know who know I like her are saying that she's my girlfriend and I'm her boyfriend.That is simply not true and just because I like her doesn't make in true in any way.
If people keep saying that and teasing her with her I think she may get irritated with me because she may think that I go round saying that me and her are boyfriend and girlfriend.

FOR THE RECORD,I have in no way implied that she is my girlfriend.All this is a result of harmless teasing that I have to put up with and I'm fine doing just that.I really,really hope she doesn't think of me as a pompus ass who goes round saying that I'm her boyfriend.At this point I have no wishes to be that.Not when she barely acknowledges that I'm alive.Granted I haven't seen her in a long time but I doubt I would get a warm reception from her even if I do see her.

Its a break and I will rest my slightly aching body and hope I do not get more sick.

Looking For The Next Move

Man Utd came away covered in all the glory and the supremly-confident(bordering on arrogant) Scousers left the Theatre Of Dream with their tails between their legs.Some say its unfair that they lost in injury time.Well,if that's the case,we should abolish injury time altogether,shouldn't we? You say we only won because it was at Old Trafford...we weren't exactly beaten at Anfield.Bragging rights now belong to the Red Mancs and the Red Scousers can just shut it.

Its been surprisingly pleasing for me at school with lessons being shelved and early dismissal for these past 2 days.Tomorrow looks like a tough day but if I get my sleep on right tonight,I'll be fine.Trying to keep my promise to myself of not getting too involved in school and my class,in terms of schoolwork and also my classmates.There is a class outing coming but I've decided not to go.The only reason I could find to go would be Roswell Girl but hey,I'm not really looking to start anything with her right? So there would be no real gain if i were to go to that outing.

Another good mate of mine as told me to turn the other way and try and go for it on VT Day simply because I haven't tried anything major enough for MJ to take note of.I commented that I didn't know how she felt about me and that she may think of me in a negative light because of my previous screwups abd that is a stumbling block(one of many).He said that anger doesn't last that long.Yeah mate she may not be angry but that doesn't mean she thinks too kindly of me.

So 2 differing views that I have to take in and consider.The latter also noted that I should wait till I see her before I rule anything out.Not sure if I will see her cos she doesn't hang around that much anymore but I guess I really will have to wait and see.

I got a nice surprise last night when I got an extra $50 from my mom.It will cerainly see me through till the end of the month,when I get cash again.

Dreaming Of The Dreamy Ones

Not much happening this weekend but that's okay.I can use it as a breather before I jump back into the hurly-burly matters of school on Monday.Aiming for the upcoming mini-break that comes with the Chinese Lunar New Year hols.

Funny thing Friday night,I remember thinkinng about the lyrics of All My Only Dreams by The Wonders and I also remember thinking about how it would be a nice dream instead of the normal,random ones.That night I dreamt of both Roswell Girl & MJ.Nice...not the same dream though,2 different ones.Not much for Roswell's one but I'd take dreaming about her anyday.MJ's dream was pretty nice and all I shall say that it makes feel nice and warm when I think back to that particular dream.

MJ's preferred flowers are sunflowers but honestly,no real point for me to give them for VT Day.Every other boy will give her sunflowers.I'd rather give something that will stand out,that is if I do decide to get her anything in the end.I don't know what to do but a close mate of mine has made a good point and told me to forget about doing anything because who's to say that me doing something this time round will have different results as compared previous times that I tried.I mean I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend then and not really so now but she could have at least been more friendly and open to me.

So even if I go for it on VT Day,she will most likely continue treating me like she did before,like I hardly exist and like I'm barely on her radar.

That is just one side of the coin and I have much pondering to do before coming to a desicion on what course of action to take.

One thing to look forward to Manchester United v Liverpool.Much has been said and debated on,so I'm not really looking to add on with another theory.Simply,United will have to win tonight but I have a feeling that it will end in a draw.Its a 'derby' game and I feel that Man Utd will raise their game as they do for games like these,despite coming off an actual derby day defeat.1-1 the final score but you won't find me complaining if Manchester United win 2-1.Especially sweet if the Baby-faced Assassin,Ole Gunnar Solskjaer scores the winner.

Maybe I'll have another round of good dreams tonight.Let's hope so.

Toughing It Out

Counting down to the Chinese Lunar New Year.When it rolls around on a Saturday,my weekend is extended till Tuesday and I don't have to come back to school till Wednesday.I have 11 days to get through till then.

I'm hanging in there.Its been bearable so far.Its just the beginning as its just the start of the projects and I can look forward to more work soon.I think I have an idea on my Business Communication presentation.Hope it will work out good.I have another side-project to think about.I have to write an article on saving paper or something like that.Worse thing is,it was an optional thing.No bloody idea why I bloody volunteered for it.I got 2 classmates to help me out but still,I volunteered to increase my workload.Puzzling.

Playing soccer doesn't feel like one of just one of my main issues like it used to be.Its very likely because of school that I have no time to think about soccer.I think I am no longer coming down on Mondays & Tuesdays.Probably on Wednesday & Thursday but almost definitely on Friday & Saturday.Maybe not on Sunday.Sounds like a plan.

VT Day is coming up in about 28 days(I think) time.I am still thinking about whether I should even bother,about MJ.I think she wouldn't even care that much even if I did try.May still try.Don't really know yet,will see how it goes.

Stalling Engine

The laptop has just been reformatted and I just got it back.

It was a pretty dumpy Saturday for me.It started out fine enough but when the weekend soccer came around on the telly,Manchester United slumped to a miserable 3-1 defeat to city rivals Mancheester City.To make matters worse,Pool won their match 1-0 and Arsenal really gave to their opponents,doing them in for a final score of 7-0.Commendable but irritable at the same time.Its been frustrating for Man Utd fans to see their club not delivering the goods after all the talk this season.Does not bode well for our next league match against the deeply hated rivals 'Liverfools'.

And then after that,I had to think about school stuff.I have to do a presentation on a current affairs topic.I must sumbit the topic by tomorrow and I can't think of one.I think that I can actually do well enough to keep up my GPA score but just thinking about the pressure of actually doing it.I know I can do it but I have to actually go through and do it.I'm afraid that I will screw up and fall short.Actually I'm very thankful that I'm doing so well in school but its the pressure I have to deal with and keep the grades up.

To compound matters,I had a sudden rush of Roswell Girl & then MJ in my mind.Especially Mj.It was one of those things that suddenly came up without warning.MJ was around for a minute or two this past Friday but I tried my hardest not to care cos then I would be thinking about her the whole day.I heard her voice but I never even looked at her. I must stop caring,she is not good for me.It causes me gloominess.

Its just that all this is not helping me start the 3rd week of school of this term right.In no mood to face Liverpool & Arsenal fans but I will defend Man Utd when the time comes.The school stuff and stopping myself thinking about MJ.Its making it harder to start the week.

Chill

This is my first post after quite a while.I haven't made one since the start of last week cos my comp is gettig more and more screwed up.Rebooting soon.

The first week of school has come and gone and now we are into the second.10 more weeks or so to go.I realised that I have to try my hardest to stay positive and interested in school in order to make it as bearable as possible.I mean it is already boring enough by itself.I'm not gonna make it difficult for myself by moaning on and brooding about it.I have to find ways to make it easier on myself.

I haven't seen MJ in ahile but that's okay.I do miss her sometimes but I think I've gotten to the point where I'm okay even though I don't see her.I miss her at times but I get over it way quicker than before.I just have to remind myself that she doesn't give 2 fucks about me,even though I do.I still think that she looks real 'bonita' in her pics but then again so would other boys.I fancy her,more than she knows and she'll never find out cos she's used to the attention she gets.What's so special about mine,right?

Wonder what she's up to and how she's getting along in trying to get her crush at times but the questions no longer bother me.This thing about forgetting her is making things easier for me.

I'm glad to report that my new phone is working fine and despite my bugbear about its short battery life I'm rather pleased with it.The fact that I can contact people I need to easily without having to search for a payphone is certainly making my life easier.

1st Day Back

The 1st day back at school was fine.I only got 2 hours of sleep the night before.Just couldn't seem to close my eyes and doze off.It was a bummer but I didn't make too much fuss and just coasted through the day.I hope that I will emerge from the next few weeks unscathed.If I can get to around Valentine's Day without too much trouble then it sets me up well for the final stretch of the term.

There is a big game tonight.Arsenal v Man Utd.Its showing at 4 in the morning but that will not really deter me from watching in despite the fact that I have school later on in the day Man Utd are favourites to win but I have a sneaky feeling that because of that Arsenal will be more of a threat.

I still have no idea how MJ feels about me.But I have a feeling that she doesn't like me all that much.I know I screwed up but I really hope that she doesn't hate me like before.I am trying to forget her but its still not a nice feeling if the girl you like doesn't like you very much and she has a wrong impression of me just because I screwed up.

And there's not much I can do cos I don't see her often and when I do its like we don't exist to each other.Difference between us is that I'm hiding so much from her.

Remember this guy who I play soccer with that I know likes her? I'm wondering what role he plays in her life.Friend reports say that she doesn't like him too much either but I'm not really sure.I tried assking MJ's bro what she's thinking about me but I never really got a good answer.

United to win 3-0 tonight.

Differing Feelings

I started the day wanting to be alone and ended it not wanting to be alone.I began the day by watching a VH1 special about musical bands and groups seperating and its members going solo.Must have had an effect because I felt that I just needed to be alone.I usually wanna be around people but every once in awhile I wanna go solo.

I didn't wanna be with anyone.At that time,not even MJ.

The rest of the day was good.Mate's birthday.Had fun.Oh,and and free food.That's always good.

Surprsingly,after the bus ride home,I started missing MJ.I was surprised as it came from nowhere.I haven't been thinking too much about her these past few days before this.Well I expect days like this to come along.The feeling will go away if I don't do anything about it.So I ended the day mssing her...a contrast to the start of the day.But it must be noted that I'm not gonna be seeing her anytime soon so I probably won't be doing anything about the way I feel(as usual..lol).

Wonder how she's getting along in her quest to get her crush.Never thought about that.Whatever.

Bringing In 2006

Just got in.Dead tired.No idea how I'm getting enough energy to post this.Must be because its the New Year...2006 is here.

Its not really that I'm tired but it has been a day where I moved around alot and also that I did not get as much sleep as I wanted as I had to wake up early for the final day of the year.

I had to send in the phone for repair as it was faulty.Standard stuff,no fuss.I'll be getting it back on Thursday.

Watched soccer on telly at a mate's place and just got in.Liverpool scored a miserly single goal to beat the opposition but Man Utd saw out the year in style,running out 4-1 winners at home.Fun stuff.Took a late cab ride home.Expensive,even though we live in the same town.

Its the new year so there are thing sto look forward to.But are some things gonna remain the same?

Namely MJ...yeah I'm trying to not think about her so much but that doesn't mean I am gonna totally forget that she exists.Not when she stays near where I play soccer regularly.The new year begins and I bear no grudges(never had any) and I just hope that things will be better between us in the year to come.Any positive improvement will be welcome.Ya still a babe MJ,I'll still be your friend if you need me.You may not be my babe but I'll still be there.Doesn't mean that she doesn't care about me and so I HAVE to do the same to her.I could but I could also choose to be responsive towards her,no matter how she feels about me.If everybody didn't care about each other the world would be an unkind place to live in.

Its weird,maybe,cos while I am thankful for the benefits of the single life,I am also wondering about the next natural step in relationships and how I go about getting one.It may not be MJ but that means that there is someone out there for me and I just have to be patient.Yeah she is out there right now,wonder what she's doing...lol...

If you asked me if I still wanted things to happen between me and MJ then I would say yes but God's plan for me may be different.I just gotta trust that things will happen for me one day and it'll be a case of both parties being equally enthusiastic about each other and not just a one sided fool's hope.

Overall I'd like to think that 2005 has been a year where I've learned and grown emotionally.The ups have brought me higher and the downs have made me stronger.I want things to get better yes but isn't that an acceptable aim?

Thanks God to all you've given me so far and here's to 2006....

Gotta go,sinuses have been acting up for hours and that is my body's way of telling me I am mentally exhausted and need sleep.