Traversing Choppy Waters

So a few select people now know about the bizzarely vague occurences on Monday.

Roswell Girl still does not know.But Farah 'Elyra' supposed that a part of me did want Roswell Girl to find out but not from me,for that would seem egotistical of me.

Yeah,preferably I would but reality does not permit blowing bubbles of fantasy.

If I did want it revealed,what would it achieve? She's already down about her boy.Last thing she needs is hidden agendas from someone she considers her friend.Before doing what I did on Monday I made it clear to myself that I should not expect things to change with her.

On Tuesday I came to school early.I had signed up for and I was going to donate blood! It was my first time and I did get nervous for just a second but then banished all negative thoughts and it was pretty much smooth sailing all the way,from start to finish.Was kinda cool to see my blood being sucked out into the bag.

This Marketing project is turning into a right pain in the ass.Thank God my fellow members are functioning well enough to carry the burden.Have I been pushed into a leadership position? At times it seems so and to that,I just feel that if that's what I have to do to get that A grade then I'm gonna deal with it.But like I said,my members are great that they realising that if we don't wanna embarrass ourselves,we will have to work really hard.Things haven't been easy but I hope they will fall into place perfectly at the end of the project process.

German class starts tomorrow.Mixed sense of anticipation and apprehension.

All this activity in and out of school have caused me to miss the last few CCA meetings and I feel rather sore about that.I already personally feel that I don't contribute as much as the others or as much as I would like to,I wouldn't want others in the Exco to think that my commitment levels have waned.

Section Head that our graduating class of 2007 was going to have a Dinner & Dance grad night! Way cool.Always wanted that.Never had the chance to,coming from an all-boys school previously so the feeling wasn't there.

Costs $55 bucks but I'll pay.No outsiders allowed.

And I don't know how and why but I have had the inclination to ask Roswell Girl to go with me.I know,she'll be going to the event but I have this image in my head of me going to that event with her.Hope you get what I mean.Like she would be my date,even though she really isn't cos we're all gonna be there as classmates.

All I can do is dream.

She's been feeling down about her boy and I was trying to talk to her and I remember quoting her this.

Everybody tries to put some love on the line.But everybody feels a broken heart sometimes.

It's from Teddy Geiger's These Walls so I feel like I was kinda cheating.

Has a double meaning.I was telling it to her,trying to make her feel better about problems with her boy but ironically,I could very well use them on me,referring to my own situation with her.

Told her to be brave and be strong in the face of God's test.

Like I made me promise myself.I'll walk by her side even if she doesn't need me now.

Strength,my friend.Sweet and dear to my heart,however unrequited.