Candy Fears

Yesterday I needed Roswell Girl to print some stuff for school.As reward,I decided to buy a few bars of chocolate that I thought she would like.It was a little hard to give it to her cos I didn't want the classmates to fuss on about it and make it bigger than it was and then tease us about it.

Twice I had the chance to give it but I held back.Then as she was going home with her group of girls,as the chance was slipping away,I just thought I had to do it.To prove to myself that all this talk about new bravery was not just hot air.So I gathered whatever courage I could,called out her name,ran down the stairs and went on to give the the candy,saying it was my way of saying thanks for the help.

I was afraid that she would recluse since it was in front of all the classmates but all she did was smile and said thanks and that it was sweet of me.Not inhibited but one that was sincere and nice.

Gosh,darn,like so many other occasions before,I had nothing to fear.It all turned out well.

I was also just reminiscing about the times when she was feeling blue or down about something, even if I tried to keep it,all notions of fancying her would be banished as if they never existed.I would instead be concerned for her plight.

I wonder why I do that.I find myself having that question in my head.It may mean I'm too much of a nice guy.

But hey that's me.I'm not gonna make any apologies for it.If she was gonna fall for me,I wanted to be with me,not some fake ass poser.If she doesn't,(boy! that would hurt to be really honest),I wouldn't be able to do anything else except wallow in misery.

At least I would have my integrity.

Although it seems so distinctly easy to just say integrity-schmintegrity...

Misery for company, such joy to the guy that she decides to get with.Notice I never said that some guy would get her but rather that the guy she chooses to let hang with her.