Starting Point // Video Work & Love Dreams

Was in the middle of a post yesterday when I mashed some keys by accident and it all got deleted.

Bah.

Anyways,as I was trying to relate,Roswell Girl got another visit from the angels of good fortune.She received news from the Section Head that some generic trust institute have rewarded her for her hard work in the first year of study this course.So she's got another scholarship.A certificate and of course monetary dividends.

Damn straight she should.She's got a perfect 4.0 GPA for the 1st year of the course.As for right now,after 1 year and a half,she's still acing it.Wouldn't be surprised if she manages to make a grand slam of it,keeping the 4.0 intact throughout.

God,someone like her,of course she deserves it.God looks after people like her,just like He should.

When I heard the news,it was no real surprise to me.I'm pleased for her.I'm proud of her.I know that I can't lay claim to that.It's not like I'm anyone special in her life or her family.In a way that I can,I am proud of her.

What it made me do was ask questions about myself.When was I going to get recognition of this sort? That then led me to the belief that I haven't done anything of note to deserve it.

I admit,I was a little inspired by my Section Head's stories of traveling while studying. Particularly the traveling part.Especially the travelling part.

Remember the Rome agenda? I got to start trying to make real progress on that rather than just planning.I've had 3 years worth of yakking about it.

I have to start by getting a job.I hope I can follow through this time.There are possible job openings at the new IKEA opening up.

With that money I can start going for German class.Yeah,it was supposed to be French but there was a change of plans.

Whatever,like I said,I gotta start somewhere.

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Part Deux

Yeah,so that was the previous post that I wanted to put up.This is today's.

Today was the day when I finally saw the fruits of the production's team labour,all in the name of ITE College Central.The video turned out pretty decent.Had to admit it was a real buzz seeing something that I was so into actually come good.

I had real kick out of seeing my name on the back of the DVD sleeve.You know the part where in really small letters,they put who the executive producer is.

My name was right there under 'WRITTEN BY'.It wasn't as behind the scenes as you would think.I do see my work in the video.Certain shots that were taken by the directors were inspired by the script.

We're gonna get to keep a copy of the DVD for our portfolio too.The launch has been pushed back to somewhere in January too.

So I am happy about that.

Something else I'm not over the moon about.

I had dreams about Roswell Girl.Heck,even my dream persona is missing Roswell Girl.No joke,I remember that about my dreams.And now,it's got me all down.

Not about the fact that she's not mine.That kind of stuff isn't really for me now.I just want to be around her more.I don't want this friendship to slip into complacency.Just like MJ before,where she said we were 'good friends' but the fact is I barely saw her.

It's not that drastic but I know that I mustn't slacken off.I do wanna hang out with her,go out and catch a movie,bowl and stuff.

But I'm not sure cos I'm scared that I may be pushing the boundaries.

It's gone all catch-22.If I don't try she may drift away.But if I try too hard she may think that I was lying about just wanting hang out and be friends and that I am in fact,trying to get at her.
Which isn't true.I am trying to 'get' her but only to be friends.

But admittedly,I realise I may be doing this with the future in mind.What do I mean by that?

It's a no-brainer that if I conduct myself the right way around her and be around her enough,that she may give me a chance when she feels the time is right.

Is it wrong to do that? I feel that somehow it is.But at the same time I don't want to let chances slip by.

Friendship with an agenda is wrong.It should be sincere.Is there vindication for me if I say that truly(as proven in the past) that I WANT to share the load of her sorrows and smile from afar and watch her celebrate her triumphs.Even as I write this,I feel an undertone of honesty behind it.This is how I really feel guys.

I mean,she is my friend.But I ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY ADORE HER!

I hope it isn't wrong to be her friend and still want her in that way.

Gosh,can't believe she's got me missing her in my dreams.