What Matters At The End

Oh dag-nammit.

I don't know.That seems to a key phrase for me in matters of the heart.

I am so afraid that she is slipping away.But if she is I won't give it up that easy.I made the same mistake before.I'm not gonna do it again.Especially not for one like this.

I've had thoughts recently.Was the heartfelt letter nothing more than a polite rejection? What does it mean? I've always wondered.Is her heart still with her ex?

If it is,then how do I deal with it? Maybe I give up.Or maybe not.Maybe I don't start another wretched note of my negatives.

For somehow,I've managed to gather courage.I'm ready to try.If only God would fate it that I would have a shot or two.I would then take it.

Why the sudden bravery? Well because,I don't want to let it slip away while I just sit there afraid.I've spent the early part of my adolescence afraid and it's enough.

I'm sick of pussyfooting around and actually this time,I may actually think it's something worth going for.I certainly run the risk of falling flat on my arse.But sometimes I do that without even trying anyway.

I honestly think that she's worth it.

But wait.But what if it is a rejection.

Ah the lovelorn fool shall rise.Mouth from One Tree Hill.It's gonna fecking hurt loads and I don't know how I'll get through it but I shall have to.

I shall have to say that she goes to be with him and be happy.And I'll try my best to not let her see how I feel inside.

It would be a waste if all this courage came to nought.

At least she'll be smilling.