My Side My Fear

Oh I have put myself in a precarious position once again.

No fault but mine.I set myself up for it.Ever since the day I fell for her,despite struggling,not to fall in.Ever since I got lost in her big,doe eyes and her lovely face.

Oh fool! Weep for thou heart is lame!

Why did I fall for her????

ALL THAT DOES NOW IS THAT SETS ME UP TO LOSE A FRIEND.

SOMEONE THAT WAS WILLING TO BEFRIEND ME WITH ALL OF HER SINCEREITY.

IF SHE EVER FINDS OUT,IF SHE EVER READS THIS BLOG AND FIGURES IT OUT...

=(

MY GREATEST FEAR

Is to lose her.Is to see her walk away from me with a creeped out look from her face.

If any of my friends who knows my story.If ever the need be.

Tell her this.Tell her the last thing I wanted is to lose her.I never deceived her.I offer my friendship from the bottom of my heart.I know that she'll never look at me that way that I want her to.That special way.Even if I wish it so.So I kept it inside.She should never think that anything I did for her was less than sincere and was only cos I liked her.It's because that's just not true,that's why.

I feel so afraid.

I feel stupid for falling in love with her,how could a guy like me ever hope to get a girl like her?? She's just as unattainable,just as MJ was.

I'm not feeling down or anything.Just a tad more realistic.Maybe cos I still see Roswell Girl as a friend.

I just suddenly thought,'what if she finds out?how would she react?'

I just want people who know my story to tell it if I can't.Cos by that time,she finishes freaking out,she'll be walking away from me.

So people who know,help me to tell my story if the need arises.Maybe not now.Maybe in the future.Maybe not at all.Just in case.