I'm All Messed Up Now

It's 710pm according to my comp clock.2 post of the day.

Just wanted to say that I've been feeling crappy the whole day.Must go to school though.To study and make it to polytechnic.

2nd sleepover tomorrow night.It looked to be a grinding week till after this Friday and I was dealing with it till I found out from Roswell Girl that she wouldn't be coming tomorrow.I won't see her till Monday.I think she was supposed to follow us to the competition venue but things happened and she's not anymore.

Also wanna say that the teasing is irritating not because it is.But cos when people tease me about me and her,I have to deflect and not let people know that I actually wished what they said could happen.

The only time I'm GENUINELY annoyed by the teasings is when she's around as well.I'm afraid she will get mad that she becomes the target of jokes just cos of me.That might drive her away from me.Those times I really do see her as a friend who is being innocently derided by others,all because of me.

I'm still missing her.

Even if,at the very same time,I'm aware that she's not missing me.Or at least thinking about me even.