Like J Lo & Ja Rule Said

I was officially appointed as part of the Exco for my CCA,the drama club.Its not publicly announced to the rest of the members yet though.I'm the Skit Lead,which means the onus will be on me,with the teacher's guidance,to come up with new ideas for new school skits and plays.The teacher says that more 'appropriate titles for the Exco positions are in the works.I initially said that I didn't fancy being part of the Exco but that was before I realised that it was the only way I was gonna get the 0.2 added to my GPA,especially since I came in with the expectation that I was not goinng to be given major acting jobs.

Had a meeting today to get ideas for a club T-shirt.Since we were the supposed 'Masters In Creativity'(MIC),we had to come up with stuff that differed from the norm of everyone else.I felt that is was very important that the design was one that members would not be embarrassed to wear outside and they would be able to pass it off as casual,everyday wear instead of showing the public the strong links to school and ITE,like most other CCAs do.

Found out something very interesting about my teacher.She's a fluent speaker of Mandrin,that I know but I had no idea that she lived in Germany for a few years and even has a house there still.She speaks fluent German and so does her husband.She even had her first child in a German hospital.

Yeah there are obvious links to MJ,with her being German and all but I don't really care about that.What I find interesting is that she's sorta has done what I dream of doing one day.Living a couple of years abroad,preferably Europe.She speaks German? Cool.Just like I wanna speak French and Spanish and if I get the chance then German and Italian.Gotta tell her that I find what she has done is something cool.Maybe she can relate.She's kinda of a cool teacher in that way.

Anyways after the meeting,I don't exactly know why but I went all the way to Plaza Singapura mall via train with the intention of checking out Roswell Girl,who had a dance performance in a roadshow.Maybe I coiuld even catch a sight of her boy who would very likely be there.It was at the outdoor atrium.

I was all the way at the mall entrance,the antrium in sight and the stage as well,when I stopped dead in my tracks.I asked myself what actually I hoped to achieve by being there.That somehow,by being there,Roswell Girl would see that I came all the way down to support her and that would earn me points? How is that possible? SHE ALREADY HAS A BOY SHE LIKES, YOU BLOODY ARSE !!

After that I was a mental wreck.On the train ride home and until just now,I agonized over the fact that I had went all the way down to a place just to score points with someone that was already attached...and then what about MJ ?? What about her?

I think that maybe the fact that Roswell Girl has already moved on to someone else after her breakup hasn't sunk into my noggin yet.I thought I had a chance a couple of days back but fate slammed the door in my face and I still haven't realised it yet.Its like a striker who's missed an open goal and the game is over,the fans have gone home,the stadium is empty and the guy is still on the field wondering what happened.

SHE'S GOT A GUY ! MOVE ON !!

I have to admit that I may have focused too much on Roswell Girl even to the point where MJ was overlooked.I realised that I did not want that to happen.I asked myself why it could happen.It was likely that I thought that 'the grass was greener on the other side' with what I thought was then an opportunity with Roswell Girl,a top-drawer gal that I was closer with.I took a long deliberative pause and reminded myself that the grass was only deceptively greener on the other side.I was tempted because I was not making progress with MJ.As much as that sucks,I told myself that I despite everything I still wanted to like MJ more than Roswell Girl.I know I've said something simalar previously but it was the first time I analysed the situation properly.

I want MJ but inactivity is making me look elsewhere,ie,Roswell Girl.To curb that I have made a resolution to distance myself from her,just a little bit.Just back off.Not well thought out yet so,I still don't know.

It may sound 'playa-ish' to say that I wish that I could be close friends with both girls and then see which one develops or neither for that matter.

I wanna be friends with both.The difference is I can see being best friends with Roswell Girl.Like thoe odd couples.Not an actual couple of course but those kooky best friends that hang out a lot.If it could ever become that I would be very pleased.With MJ,perhaps it is because that she is younger and also things about her,where we stand and what could develop remains a mystery,there is a different sense of hope,fingers crossed kind of hope.

Me and Roswell Girl,kooky guy and girl best friends,like umm...2 Guys and A Girl ? It would be very nice to see that.

Maybe we could be friends.

=)