Dreaming With A Touch Of Reality

Haven't really had much to shout about.Had a good weekend though.The 2 weeks have been chock full with meetings and it was nice to have a break.Didn't do much except play soccer.It was good soccer though.I didn't play outstandingly but I had a fun run out as a DMC,the spoiler role.

MJ was absent as usual.All the talk about Roswell Girl went out the yesterday when I heard Craig David's 'Unbelieveable'.An innocuous song but that just kind of woke me up again.

God,its been so long...I'm still waiting for her.It may seem at times that I've forgotten about her just cos I don't see her and you guys read me writing about Roswell Girl but in all actuality I just really want MJ.Yeah,she said thru her bro that she wants to be friends.So do I but,but...the fool in me may think that because we aren't close and we're not close friends..I just want to see if we really can be close friends.Yeah, I want to test that out,how about it huh? Nothing may happen in the end but at least be friends.If she said it then make it happen.

Wait wait..I guess I'm just frustrated that there's never been many chances to make that happen.I admit that sometimes,the fact that I like her may make me sound too eager and desperate to be friends with her.Its just such a range of feelings and emotions that they get all mixed up that's why.

So,coming back to the waiting part I mentioned earlier,should I still be waiting? I mean,she did say that she wants to be just friends.I honestly say now that I can give no definite answer,even though the stubborn part of me knows that nothing will happen even if we become friends.Why??? Cos that's the part of me that is I daresay,inside every human being,every underdog that doesn't give up and hopes on something cos as far as he knows,nothing is definite and nothing is set in stone YET.

Perhpaps its wrong to use such dramatic analogies cos it isn't supposed to be that dramatic but maybe its just the best way to get the point across.

Despite that stubborn part of me,most of me is moving on(maybe that's why you see me talking about Roswell Girl more) because I simply have to.I have school,friends and a future to work out and I also know that MJ is young and I'm probably not gonna end up spending the rest of my life with her so...yeah.

I do wonder about Roswell Girl.She's a great gal that I know and being with her just tells me that there is so much more out there.I mean,I have my dreams right,like Rome,Europe etc for the first time prehaps she personnified or gave an example of the possibilities.

Do I wish that I could be with Roswell Girl? Of course but that'll never happen cos she's got a new guy.

Then you may ask.. what if things happen with Roswell? And not with MJ? What would I do? Would I take it? Of course I would....why??? Cos of the abovementioned reasons of moving on and MJ being young.Esp being young and not wanting to be with my kind of guy.If we were adults and this was like in the movies,the romantic comedies,I'd probably be the guy trying my best to still get with MJ amist all the comedic situations.But this is real life.

I'll just focus on school and other parts of life till this confusing stuff gets clearer.It can't be this confusing all the time can it?? Whatever,I'll wait for my chance.The important thing is,I have to take the chance when I see it.

School tomorrow,6 weeks left in the term.