All I Am Is Me

Finally....after a year of waiting,I caught The Da Vinci Code.The book was one of the most enthralling and thought- provoking reads I've ever experienced in my life. Speaking about just the movie by itself,I have to admit that much of the suspense of the book,regarding the befuddling clues and riddles,were absent in the movie which was quite unlike the book.But I will take a sympathetic view on this,considering that director Ron Howard had the uneviable task of converting a good book into a good movie.A good movie it was.For those who haven't read the book,I highly recommend the movie,even if is just to see what the fuss is about.I have to with a sense of acceptance that the movie is nowhere near as good as the book but that doesn't mean that the movie sucks,its just that the book is really good.
3 out of 5 stars.

I was wondering something quite a while when I was reading my Robert Ludlum novel in the CCA room.I was just wondering whether it wasn't really the girls.It was just me.What I mean by that,there must be something FUNDEMENTALLY unattractive about me that made girls find me in their sincere( I hope ) opinion nice kind of guy.But nice is all.They would stop at that and would not find enough to be attracted to me physically.

Only in rarefied cases,do looks not play a part.I believe it is human nature to be physically attracted to somebody when looking for a companion of any kind hence I believe looks do matter,in that sense,no matter how small a part it plays.

In that case,I think I know why and perhaps in what ways I'm not attractive.In the past,I would bemoan this fate and even now I am tempted to do the same but the voice in me now says that I have accepted it more somewhat and am a little okay with it.Although I wish he could have done more and been more 'fair',I know that God created me like I am for a reason and for that I accept,regardless of whether or not I am fully satisfied,I accept.

I have not the voice that Roswell Girl's new boy has been blessed with,for surely if I was,I would serenade her with a song.I wish it so yet I accept was has been given.

I don't want myself to be anybody else.No matter how I may wish it at times,I believe in God,in that He created me this way because it is His right and He has His reasons.

But...what I do wonder is that whether what I have,whatever little God has given me,can a girl fall in love with whatever I have in me,can a girl be attractive to me? I don't know.Right now,it seems not.That's why I made no impact on MJ,neither was one made on Roswell Girl,in the weeks leading up to her breakup with her ex,which put me out of the contention when the new boy then came along.

Keep in mind,I don't want any girl to just fall in love with me.I would much rather it be a girl that I fancy myself.
Would I be with someone that I wasn't attracted to? NO ! That would be against my principles.This is one that I would not stoop to compromise just for the sake of being with someone.Call me selfish,picky,choosy whatever.I'm not apologising.But I'm sure that even if you disagree,you'd be able to understand my point of view.I choose to be this way when it comes to matters particularly like this.

That being with someone was not merely a status but something that was to be taken with a sense of seriousness.
Flimsy flings just aren't my thing.

Going back to an earlier point...girls aren't gonna be interested in what I have.Not the ones that I'm interested in anyway.That may change in the future,that is up to God to decide.Disappointed? Maybe...

But like I said,I accept all this and just move on.Affected but just a little.Not as shaky in confidence as I was when I was younger.

Anyways,was looking thru some of the mags on the rack at 7-11 and I saw on Maxim,I think it was,labelled as the the next big thing was....Kristin Cavallari...cool.She's hot.Watch MTV's Laguna Beach and you'll see her.

I wanna find time.I wanna catch up on my Season 3 episodes of The OC.I have 10 episodes in my computer.Only watched 4 or 5 episodes though.Maybe I'll manage to squeeze in some time this week and watch a least a couple,if not all.