Going Into Rehab

The day went pretty well.Out and about through town the whole day,I came back to a football on the telly and an easy victory for Man United.
3-0.Next game please.

For some reason,during the game,I happened to look down at my bellybutton and suddenly thought about what kind of bellybutton she had,whether it was an innie or an outie...Hmmph,her crush would be the one to find out soon.

I wanted to buy her chocolates from the airport cos I know she likes chocolates(they have really good ones there) but she probably wouldn't have cared and that would mean that me spending $20-30 dollars would have been a waste.It was supposed to be a New Year's gift(since I don't celebrate Christmas)Maybe her crush can get her those chocolates.

Oh by the way,that's my latest attempt to force myself to forget about.I'll just think about the fact that she likes someone else to make myself stop thinking about her,even though I myself have been driven like all over crazy,turned upside down inside out head over heels in love with her...too bad.

There are times when I've missed her but I'm forcing myself to move on.
Like in the bellybutton story above and also last evening,when I realised when I was lying down I realised that I didn't just like her but I loved her or was infatuated with her rather.How else could I explain all those emotions.They don't come that way if I just plainly liked her.

I realised that having her as my crush,I wouldn't care about others.Its the same feeling she has when she is thinking about her own crush,so she wouldn't care about others too.Others like me.

On the day of the incident where I pushed her bro by accident(I swear I was just trying to shrug him off) I also told her bros that she had a crush because I was trying to tell them why it was no point in me liking their sister.They must have let it slip or something,maybe during an argument and apparently it was supposed to be a secret(the crush and the blog) so now she's mad at me.

After knowing all this,I just threw my hands up.It seems that no matter where I turned,things screwed up.Everything I tried to do to make things happen between me and her usually had no effect or made things worse by accident.Nothing I did was good enough and all it brought me was dissapointment.

I hope,that God will be kinder to her and not allow her crush to bring her on such an emotional rollercoaster that she has brought me on these past few months.

Good luck with YOUR crush MJ.