Fatherly Yearn

Went out with dad and the rest of the family yesterday. Pretty low key. We hit Raffles City mall for a bit of cake before we drove to the airport for a very late dinner at the 24-hour Breeks.

It was nothing special but us kids were pretty light-hearted. Making jokes and messing about with the camera.

Sitting next to my dad, I did catch his expression a few times. I couldn't really tell for sure but I was certain that there was a sense of contentment within him, seeing his kids all together and all merry.

In the past, I did say to the close friends that I don't want to be like him, in the sense that I didn't want to make the mistakes that he made. How he left my family before I was born and he wasn't exactly a responsible person. He left before I was born and left my mom for another woman.

I'd really like to say that it's all water under the bridge but because I love my mom I can't. I think it's one of those things that doesn't really ever go away but we make it work somehow. My mom and my dad don't interact much, they're hardly at the same place at the same time ever but we make it work. Looking at the positive side, $I have a stepmom, a half-brother and 3 half-sisters and I consider them as such, brother and sisters.Plus, of course, my sister that lives with me.

He's much different now. He still makes mistakes that irk us but he tries.

I tried to put myself in his shoes and imagine being his age and having six kids, minus the divorce and remarriage. The word 'crazy' comes to mind.

I mean, 6 kids? "What the hell wrong with you, dad? Lol! Me with 2, 3 maybe. But SIX? Haha!

He says he likes it when he sees all his kids together. If I were to imagine again,maybe I would like that too. It's just that I've been focusing on the girl, as is normal for one having my youth.

So, maybe in that sense, I am my father's son after all. Just not have SIX of 'em!

So that ends it.

The Jabbawockeez are gonna be at the 2008 MTV Asia Awards!

Now, I wanna go! It's in Malaysia on the 2nd of August so I don't think I'll get a chance to go. But I sure wish that I could.

Till next time...

Like everyone else, I wish I could turn back time and do better for you.