I MEANT It When I Said Forever & After

Sometimes, I don't feel like it's all worth it. There's so much pressure.

Do I be a man, and strong and just bear the weight, or do I cut my losses and run, hoping to save what's important to me.

After all, that's all that matters to me. That's why I call them the important things.

If I just tak away all the clutter, I look into the past and realize the first reason I'm doing all this for, that special girl.

Gosh, it sounds so incredibly mushy and I want to barf but if you could excuse the mushiness, I'm dead serious. I had this whole thing going on about being in a position where I could be a contributing, productive member of society and making a living for my 'baby girl' (once again, pardon the term of endearment)

I mean, if I were to be told that being a sewage worker would be fulfiiling for me and would allow me to have a good life with that girl that I end up with, I would gladly follow that road.

These days, such is my mood that I would throw away the increasing amount of responsibilities if I could just plain simply get what I want. It's almost like selling my soul to the devil. Of course, I won't do that.

I'm missing her and I'm missing the good 'ol days. When things were more certain.Unlike now, I'm not even sure I can find what I KNOW I want.

"Like violence, you have me forever and after."

The laptop is still spoilt so updates will be rare.

Hopefully I'll get a new one soon. Hopefully HP.