Could Be Better

Nothing much happened in the week so I thought I'd let it pass before making a post.

Caught Harry Potter.A worthy watch.

Life's been good. It's been good cos I've been strong in the face of uncertainty at times and not let it bother me.I think too well of myself to crumble under this pressure I've come to face.It's crazy sometimes but I would be disappointed with myself if I succumbed to it.

I've come to realise that all the trials and tribulations seem to come in a package,like,it was fated to be that way.I was supposed to face all the troubles all at once.A test from the divine perhaps.

I've no trouble dealing with this cos I know I'm way better than that.That's why despite this test,I can say that I'm still all right.

What I'm afraid of is that all this will expose the old me,the one that was afraid.The one that didn't dare because he was afraid of failure.I see glimpses of that sometimes,let's hope he won't make a full return.

Moving on...

Just thought I'd mention that the last time I checked,Hayden Panettiere (the one that plays the 'indestructible' cheerleader in 'Heroes') is going out with Stephen Colletti of 'Laguna Beach' fame. I think that's pretty cool cos in the past,Stephen really liked this other girl,Kristin,but she played with his feelings and he got fed up with her and moved on.

Btw,for those who don't know,Laguna Beach was a reality show,so even if it reality shows are somewhat scripted,I think Stephen really did like that girl.

So I think it's great for him that he's getting rewarded by hooking up with Hayden,one of Hollywood's rising breakout stars.Her last name,Panettiere,I read somewhere,translates to 'baker' in Italian.They're both of Italian descent.

Heck,this is Hollywood I'm talking about.Who knows how long they will last? I hope they do,for a while at least.

I just realised how markedly different the content is so far in this post.One is so introspective and deep,talking about my feelings while the others is unabashedly shallow,talking about Tinseltown celebs.

Been back to Bishan over the week to deal with the upcoming Teachers' Day skit.Sometimes,I feel like I can contribute more but I don't.I really should be contributing more.Hopefully I can.
The new kids seem to have the enthusiasm.Though this and committment can be seperate sometimes.

Today I went back to TP for the 1st PACESetters meeting.I felt overwhelmed but also excited somehow.I think I felt overwhelmed cos my self-doubt was creeping in again as mentioned earlier in the post.The excitement came from the fact that I knew I could do a lot if I wasn't afraid.

But I was a bit of a mess.It was a throwback to the days where I was socially inept.Not good enough.I don't know why I was so nervous for.Maybe it's cos I never ever felt truly at home in TP,so I'm cautious and hence,I'm a bundle of nerves and my speech and thinking become rushed and all that.

I really shouldn't be affected.Not with exposure to crowds that I had.But yet I am affected.

That's completely out of order for me,acting like a stupid tosser in front of new people.

I don't know about the whole cohort of the new intake yet but the people I met in the CCA so far and the people in my group seem like really friendly and accomadating people.I hope that I don't disappoint them,disappoint myself and not let them see what I can really do,just cos I'm 'nervous'.