Unwavering In Your Supposed Nonchalance

Saw a couple of sweaters at Topman,reasonably priced.Hope I can get them soon enough.

I must keep my promise to myself to study during this holidays. I do have CAs on the 2nd week of the last term of school.

By rough estimation,I have about 8 weeks of school to go through before the end.

8 weeks with Roswell Girl left before she goes out of my life completely.That's an anti-climax isn't it? All this while,before this,I've always said that my biggest fear was to lose her as a friend.I don't think she'll ignore me completely but maybe she'll just see me as a circumstansial acquaintance.One that was brought to her by chance of allocation.I just happened to be her classmate.

So when I see her again,how will it be? She may or may not talk to me normally.I don't know.As much as I want things a certain way,I can't force them.

I was just contemplating facing her again soon.And I remembered the promises that I made myself keep and I plan to keep them.

So despite the hurt and despite the fact that she doesn't need me anymore,not that she always needed me anyway,I plan to keep my promise and be a friend to her.Sounds like a damn tired cliche but that's what it is.

That means talking and acting normally around her.But of utmost preference in this arrangement is that I be sincere or else I might not as well try.

Smile when she smiles,laugh as she laughs,mourn when she hurts.Lend a helping hand.Only when she needs it though.For this time I know she has someone else she can count on.

She may not even fecking care about my promises.But I care about them.If not for her,then at least for myself.She may not hate me,or she may.Or she may be neutral,like,whatever,but I shall carry on.

But I'll be damned if I let the way things turned out affect my pledge to always be there.Even as an acquaintance.