Ranting N Raving

Say

2008-12-27T12:59:00.004+08:00

To be honest, I don't really have the mood to be here. But I realize this is the only place I can go to and just let go. You know, instead of keeping it all inside, which would only murder me.

For some reason, the 2nd week of the holidays have felt worse as compared to the first.

Both weeks were mind-numbingly dull in a good way, if that's possible.

But perhaps, I've had too much time to think.

There are just things running around in my mind that need to be resolved. Some things I feel need to be said and told.

I believe this is what some people call closure.

I feel like no matter how many others I talk to, the only one that can relieve me of my troubles is the intended recipient, the subject of my troubled musings.

But at this point of time, I'm not sure if that person would want to listen.

This isn't due to to some mean streak that just disregards my feelings. It's just my feeling that she's facing some other people and problems that she's gotta help out and help deal with first. Even after that, I'd think she rather deal with her own daily issues first.

I really feel I don't want to be another burden that adds to her load. So, I'll just keep my own burden to myself. Plus, I'm not she's got enough time to give a damn. There are other things that are more important in her life.

For the most part, I'm all right. Really.

It's just that some days are tougher than others but that is to be expected, isn't it?

There have been times where I've had the time and opportunity to say what I need to say but the time and environment were never right. It's the kind of thing where two parties need to sit down and one says his piece and the other party listens.

A crowded mall and is hardly the place. This isn't a piece of gossip that can be discontinued and picked up again at a later time.

At least that's what I feel about it.

I don't think that this post is a fair reflection of my general mood and demeanor. I'm just letting go of all the negative energy. I think I can still be pretty cool and not go all, emotional and all that.

But everyone has troubles, right? These are just mine. I'll carry on normally, with the troubles at the back of my mind.

Still, I'd dearly wish she'd want to listen. I just don't know if I can ask her if she wants lend her ear to another troubled friend when she already has one on her hands. That would be equivalent to dumping my troubles on her when she did not ask for

Nonetheless, you'll find me telling myself to keep my chin up.

I Only Possess Heartbreaks & Pseudo-Literal Ambitions

2008-12-15T17:40:00.007+08:00

The quiet weekend continues into a quiet Monday. It's not what I'm used to for sure but I ain't really complaining.

Amidst all the procrastination, I actually managed to finish up a really short story, which was really nice for 2 reason; I hadn't done a story for a while and also cos I followed through and finished up on something I said I was gonna do.

I've been in an inspired funk. There's blobs of inspiration in my head but I'm having trouble forming them into clear story structures

I've been addicted to Geo Challenge on Facebook. It reminds me of the educational Carmen Sandiego games on PC I used to play as a kid. They really were educational. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known what the capital of Hungary was at the age of 10.

Remembering this, it made me wish that I was more intellectually open. I used to eagerly read Newsweek. I also think I don't read enough. The kind of stuff that people would call 'general knowledge.' Stuff that isn't considered important enough for daily life.

I want to know things, be smart and not just act smart. It won't come in handy anytime soon but it'll be great for when I'm a dad! I'd love to teach them things they wouldn't normally learn about in school (not in Singapore anyway)

Kids? Yeah, thinking way too far. Especially since I can't seem to get the girl. For the latest developments on how I'm feeling about matters of the heart, I refer you to this:

Emo? I must disagree. While I tend to be very naive about this kind of thing. I can be a well-balanced individual. It's been a difficult past 2 weeks, cut me some frickin' slack.

To end on a positive note, I'm excited for this movie that will be coming out next year. It's 4 hours long and 17 minutes long!

That even beats Bollywood movies! It's so long that it's coming out in two parts, released together.

This movie, is going to be extraordinary for sure. Question is, will it be an extraordinary epic or an extrordinary flop?

What movie is this? It is the the story of Ernesto Guevara.

Who?

You see his fashionable and trendy face all the time. Today, he is a fashion statement. In reality, he is either a revolutionary or a beast, depending on who's side you take. Some may know him as 'Che Guevara.'

Let it load first, if you see it necessary and your connection is a bit slow.

This movie is a big risk. Already some people are saying that it falls flat and fails to capture so many aspects of the contreversial character. From what I see, I won't be surprised if the brilliant Benicio del Toro gets Oscars noms for his portrayal of the title character.

For those of you who expected something more in this post, I do apologize. This is what you get from a ~~man~~ boy who's moving on from heartbreak and currently in a self-proclaimed creative mood.

As I Turn The Page To Start A New Chapter, I Reminisce How This Last One Was Probably My Favourite

2008-12-13T14:53:00.006+08:00

The term tests are over. Didn't go as well I'd hoped but I'll survive.

My reward for that was to have my allergies pay me a visit. There's still here as I sit, typing this out. A lousy start to the weekend. Hopefully, the United game will cheer me up later.

There's not been much for me to cheer about this past week. In fact, given the way things went, my spirit should be crushed and ripped through shreds. It probably has been, the first few days. I think the reason why I sound all logical here is that I've been worn down to a sedated state.

Am I still hurting? At times, yes. But I knew this was coming. I've been as prepared one can be for these kind of things.

There is a slight glimmer of hope within me but that is often overshadowed by uncertainty, disappointment and despair.

There is still a talk that is supposed to come, for the sake of closure. I'm sorta looking forward to it.

I've been wasting a lot of time on Facebook. Particularly on Pet Society and Geo Challenge. It's addictive as hell!

This weekend I'm taking a brief respite before returning for the projects.

I want to buy a new book. Been ages since I've had a good read.

So here I am. Wishing my past all the best as I always have wanted for them. Looking to the future with trepidation with nothing more than a small vial of hope to hold on to.

Running Round My Mind

2008-12-06T21:15:00.002+08:00

I just finished studying a chapter for the midsems next week. Will continue after this.

Geez, I can't seem to even take 4 days. How am I going to survive the upcoming 2 week holiday?

What am I talking about?

I'm talking about surviving to not being able to see something I've been used to seeing this past semester in school.

And to this particular issue, there is this burning question in my mind...am I too late?

Did I even have a chance in the first place? If I did, am I to regret chickening out the last time?

I have an opportunity to try again soon, how do I go about it?

Dreadfully sorry, but as you can see, there are a lot of things on my mind.

I wish I could have an open talk. Real civil and sincere.

I do hope when I do gather the courage to take the opportunity, that there is no backlash of silence, refusal or anger.

Despite what seems to be a spate of natural pessimism from a mate of mine, I can't let others' opinions stop me from doing what I want to do.

I believe that no matter the outcome, whether positive or negative, I can work things out with the other party.

I don't view the world through rose-tinted glasses but I simply believe in the civility, maturity and goodness of the other person.

Am I delusional?

Nice & Early

2008-12-03T16:49:00.003+08:00

Back early from school today. About an hour and fifteen minutes in school on consultations for two projects and then back home.

Something awfully disconcerting about being able to go home as scheduled. The usual reason I stay in school till late would be drama. Even if there's no drama, I usually have friends to distract me from coming home in the daytime.

With drama in a post-show lull, mid-sems coming up and the mates mostly in camp, coming back home is the only option.

Although, I must admit, the 'free' time that comes as a result of this is sort of...liberating.

I intend to put it to good use.

Finish off online assignment
Study one chapter of my A&P notes, in view of the aforementioned mid-sems
Somehow find a copy of Legally Blonde: The Musical
Do the same thing for Britney Spears' Circus

All this while still pondering about the course of action I should take in my ongoing dilemma.

She's having a good time now. That's good, and I MEAN IT. I did say, her happiness is all that matters.

After all, Ja Rule once said, Pain Is Love.

Pain Or.....Pain?

2008-12-02T11:33:00.003+08:00

Waiting for a mate to finish class so we can go have lunch.

I wasn't planning to do a post but I think it's the only way I can release my pent-up confusion.

Given my affinity with words, I suppose it's somehow right that writing, albeit in an electronic form, gives me some sort of therapy. Otherwise, whatever I have will just eat me up on the inside.

Like I said, I'm confused, conflicted, afraid. This is also in relation to the previous post where I said I had much to say but wouldn't given the late hour at that time.

I don't really know how to organize my thoughts so that they would be typed out in a way that makes sense but I'll try.

I don't know if I should keep silent or voice out. If I keep silent, I will have to take the pain that it brings without complaint.

Do I instead, say my piece but risk embarrssement, or my worst nightmare, a strain in a very valued relationship?

The person in question is probably the only person that I would consider as worth trying the second option for.

Okay, what I just typed above made me realize that either way I might end up hurt (that's the only conclusion to the first option) so I might as well do the 2nd one. Then at least, I can say that I tried right?

If only it was so easy...

Again, I just realized the reason why the 2nd option is so difficult is because of the abovementioned worst nightmare scenario.

If I could, I'd want to let her know that even if she didn't see it the way I do, I'd want her to know that I'd still want to keep things the way they are.

I'd let her know that I won't stop doing what I've been doing for her as a friend because I told myself that I did those things out of sincerity and not because I expected something.

"Didn't you hope, Khai?" Yes, yes, of course. I hoped she would see my sincerity but I would have hoped anyway, whether or not I did those things.

Even after all this, I pray to God that I won't change in the way I act.

To quote a favourite lyric of mine, "You have me, forever and after"

Sigh. I don't know what to do.

It's not that I don't value advice or help. I do. I need it.

But this is the kind of thing where the ultimate decision lies only with one person.

Me.

Help.

"Didn't Quite Turn Out The Way I Imagined It Would"

2008-12-02T00:39:00.006+08:00

I really shouldn't be here. Not at this time.

Principles of Corporate Communications test later on at 9.

Haven't studied it one bit.

Absolute brill, isn't it?

Something significant was supposed to happen over the weekend. But it didn't cos I chickened out.

Still, it was a good weekend though. Thumbs up to Wahida a decent show. Nice to see her again after so long. The last time was the chalet.

Actually there's loads more to write but I'll save it for a more reasonable hour.

Till then, here's hoping I'll make it through tomorrow's test.

Teetering On The Cliff's Edge

2008-11-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

Out of the convoluted mind of Roger Milliard the writer, Derek the Director reenters the real world as Khairul, the 21 year old student, the ordinary extraordinaire.

Back he goes to school to face a trial project presentation that he totally forgot about. Thank God, it wasn't a graded one.

It's a slight comfort to have a break from drama this past Friday. I'm sure things will soon pick up after a bit, seeing as to how the next event we are gonna have is on the 9th of Jan '09, the TP Open House.

Being very near the mid-point of this semester, it sorta jolted me. Pretty soon, I'm gonna be a 3rd year student.

It kinda snuck up on me. It didn't feel too far back where I was lamenting the unfortunate nature of being a freshie.

Now, I'm already gonna be facing mid-sems on the 12th of December.

Supposed to watch a play tomorrow, hope it's decent. I am paying a fair bit for it.

Looks like I'll have to shelve plans to get the latest edition of Football Manager release till next month. I saw it just now and was very tempted to get it. Very. But I managed to hold out.

---

I've seen some interesting things over the past few weeks. Politeness has given way to indifference and even resentment, as true colors are shown and seen. Some of the negativity may be justified, but most of it isn't.

I think it's a matter of tolerance and also understanding that everyone is different and there is no reason to be hatin' on someone just cause they don't agree with you.

Personally, I'm not really affected cos I stay out of it. I do so by not bothering really. Life's complicated enough without trying to turn it into a soap opera.

For the record, I don't claim to be immune to being human, to disagreeing and disliking things. But I'm just stating the fact that I've seen/known about some interesting things that have unfolded in my environment.

---

I'm not expecting any joy to come out of this thing I'm thinking of doing. I wish I could be more positive but it looks bleak.

But, I owe it to myself to at least give it a shot. If I have to take a bullet and bite the dust, I want to at least know my intentions were good and sincere. Honest-to-God, no hidden motives.

Curtain Call

2008-11-22T23:30:00.002+08:00

The tiredness is beginning to set in.

All the previous weeks were laced with exhaustion and exasperation, but I suppose I was running on adrenaline today.

Just one run through today before the actual show, so it wasn't that bad. I wasn't feeling anything till just before the 1st Act.

I almost felt like puking all the phlegm I had inside. This happened even though I made it a point not to eat dinner before I went on, for fear that the phlegm would flare up. But when the time came, I felt that I did my best and it went off without a hitch.

And now I feel free. No, liberated would be a more fitting word.

Not that it wasn't worth it. It was...but I'm sure that everyone involved is happy that it's over.

At the end of the day, I felt I had fun playing Derek the Director, a pompous, self-serving bastard.

Thank you to everyone for sticking through the difficult times and thank you to the director, Paul Falzon for his help. And Catherine, our advisor, for constantly pushing us.

It's nice to say that I was a part of Dramatec's main production.

Thank you to Mdm Salinah and Mr Nezam for bothering to come down, even though you guys were at TP just the day before to watch dear Eza's show (in which she killed it I'm sure). Thank you for the positive feedback. I feared you wouldn't like the story but you enjoyed it, so that was nice. I appreaciated the part you guys talk about my evolution as a performer. It made me feel that it was all worthwhile.

And Kevin. Thanks for coming down too. You usually wouldn't bother putting in this kind of effort but you did and you came I'm glad you enjoyed the show. Cheers to you, mate.

I don't know what's gonna happen in the future with Dramatec, whether we sold enough tickets to satisfy management's expectations. But I daresay, show-wise, we did great.

To those of you who didn't come, looking back, I think you guys missed out on a good show.

To those who sent me well-wishes. Thank you, they're much appreciated.

There was someone whose presence would have made the night even more worthwhile but unfortunately that person couldn't be there because of work. I would have been more nervous knowing that that person was there watching me but I would have been even more thrilled to see that person's reaction after the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you and good night.

Weather The Storm In This Faulty Ride

2008-11-16T03:10:00.005+08:00

Things have been a little crazy lately, so much so that they've threatened to crash into each other, triggering chaos and pandemonium in my life.

Lest you think I be from the nation of the self-absorbed, I shall now clearly state for the record, that the above situation can tell the stories of so many other students right now.

TP Arts Fest isn't just round the corner, we're so close to it, we can see its unbiased shadow protrude from the the other side of the corner, behind which lies a happening that could be the vindication of hard work for an arts group or conversely, spell unimaginable disaster.

In fact, I think the orchestral band has already cleared this humongous hurdle, with their performance on Friday For the rest of us, we are all on overdrive. We're getting things together, correcting, correcting, correcting and then polishing all our acts and pieces ready to be showcased to the public.

In terms of academics, this term has been mostly decent but filled with deadlines galore.

With many modules operating under the Problem (Project) Based Learning system, I can liken it to jumping through hoops. We try to keep an eye on the bigger picture, but I mostly find myself scrambling from one deadline to the next, all for different projects.

I've got a presentation part to finish, an article to write (and wow, I've sure got a heck of an idea for that one!) and script to finalize, tickets to distribute and collect payment for. Obviously a less pressing issue, I've also got a soccer match to go to. Save for the article, I've got to do all that by this Sunday.

I'm quite nervous about this coming Saturday. I don't really want to talk about it, not till I've collected my thoughts on the issue. I will be performing. It's a smaller role but I like it that way, it gives me more manueverability, I can really play with the character. I have no need to take the main spotlight, not in my junior year. Then again, I've always been more comfortable in production than on stage, so that says it all.

It's been crazy no doubt but through it all, there's been a single saving grace that's kept me going. It helps that it's been near and very accessible. Thank God for that.I mean it. For all the times, you feel that you're not good enough, no matter how hard you try...you feel that your efforts are insignificant and you pale in comparison to others...know that you'll always shine in my eyes and that you mean something to me, in fact, more than you'll ever know.

And that, be the truth. Even if you think that words do nothing but deceive, I must politely protest words are my forte. In fact, they're all I've got for fate saw it fitting that I not be blessed with looks, charm or wit. Nonetheless, I sincerely do hope my actions speak far louder than any complex word I could say here.

Not the time perhaps, and I understand. First and foremost, I am your friend and what kind of friend would I be if I not empathize with your situation and feelings? A pretty shite one probably.

Stay, smile and be merry. I shall not cause thee trouble, for thou has enough troubles already.

You're The Light On This Wild, Uncharted Road

2008-11-01T12:14:00.002+08:00

I've left this space to gather dust, I suppose. This one's gonna be the longest one since ages. Even then, I was lazy. I started on this post a couple of days ago, and then again today in the day. The time, as I add it in just before I publish is 3.35 AM on a Sunday morning. Procrastination? Oh, very much so.

Well, it's not been THAT long but quite a bit occurred since the last post. Not sure I'll blog about all though. I'll just see what I can get to.

The day after the last post, I headed off to an ITE classmate's birthday celebration. It was a mini-reunion of sorts, since some of us came down. It wasn't long before we got down to our usual shenanigans. It felt nice, it felt like old times.

The Ex-ISF-ers that came.

I think this picture encapsulates the fun that we had.

=)

When the next weekend came around, it was a trip back to the clubs, O Bar to be exact. The new crowd was fun and nice conversations. It'll be nice to meet them again soon. Always nice to have options for the weekend.

On the following Tuesday, I finally got my hands on this...

For those of you who don't know, that's one of the hottest rappers today, T.I. and that's the cover of his latest album Paper Trail.

After two fruitless attempts scouring the island, I finally got it. I expected to get it on 30/9/08, the release date but that applied for the U.S only, apparently. Well better late than never.

I couldn't help but get something else to go along with that one.

Again, for those of you who don't know. This is the cover of Lil' Wayne's album cover and no, he's not that little. That's his baby picture and those tats were superimposed on the baby picture. He's also one of the hottest in the rap game, though his fans do overhype him at times. This album currently holds the record for being the best selling record of 2008.

1,005,545 unit sold in its first week!

I wanted to get another CD but managed to restrain myself. More on that later.

On the night of the 16th something calamitous almost happened, though not to me. Thankfully, all parties involved ended up just fine.

At the beginning of the year, I would have said that my 21st birthday would be something big but as the year passed, I began to have my doubts.It reached the point where I was more than happy to let the day pass without incident.

And it turned out just like that. Not counting a movie and dinner with the mates. But we would have done that on any other weekend anyway.

They did get me a little something and I liked what they got me.

It's obviously a soccer jersey. The interesting thing about the jersey is at the back of it. But I can't show it here because it will cause controversy if I did. So, I won't. Cheeky buggers, those mates of mine. Genius almost, certainly cheeky.

Another surprise when I reached home...

Yes, yes. Those are the letters found on the inside of my new wallet. I have to thank Mom & Sis for this one. Although I did go to the store to exchange it for the one they originally gave me, cos I was looking for a different style of wallet. Without buying their one first, I would have had to shell out quite a bit for this one. So thanks must be accorded.

Not the greatest birthday but I'm quite appreciative that it wasn't the worst either. =)

Soon after that, school opened, on the 20th.

// P A R T D E U X (T W O)

Well, school opened on the 20th but I didn't start till the 21st cos I had no lessons on the first day.

The schedule isn't too. It could have been worse.

At lunch, with the new classmates, I got another surprise when I got a gift-wrapped package, and inside was...

A Birthday card with sincere well-wishes on the inside.

and...

The CD that I wanted to buy the other time but didn't. RnB soul-man Robin Thicke's latest album, Something Else. His songs may not be catchy, radio-friendly hits but I don't care. He's got a nice voice, his songs fit the mood for those lazy, quiet nights where one just wants to chill.

Thank you very much, dear friend. A gift is definitely sweeter when not expected. It's nice of you to go through all that trouble.

The new classmates have been quite fine. The modules are all PBL-based and that sucks. Interestingly, I'm the only Man Utd fan in the class, Quite surprising, honestly. You would have thought that there'd be at least one more.

As you see, life's been very interesting and varied for me. I even ended up watching High School Musical 3: Senior Year. When the 1st instalment came out, I never thought I'd end up watching the 3rd one at the cinema. And I wanted to, it wasn't as if there was nothing else to watch. It was a very enjoyable movie but you have to allow yourself to enjoy it and throw your snobbish inclinations away when you watch it. It's good, campy and fun. An enjoyable treat.

But with the ups also comes the downs.

The pressure to do well this semester is overwhelming. Having 5 modules that are all HEAVILY based on projects, does not help. Individual endeavor, which would usually suffice has to give more space to interpersonal communication, such is the nature of group projects.

Drama's on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. The showdate of 22nd November is running up to meet us and we're not sure how ready we are.

I've been looking at myself and frankly, I'm not liking where I am.

I know I can do better but I'm not doing the things that will get me the results that I want.

A year and a half of...incompetence, to put it quite bluntly at the polytechnic level has allowed self-doubt to creep back in.

I know what I want. I know where I want to be. Now, I have to figure out how to get there.

You could say, I'm lost. I gotta find that road but I don't know where it is.

Sigh.

Admittedly, I've been on the edge lately. I try not to let it show but it's hard. I've been moody and a little snappy. I may even have stepped on a few toes. Especially in school. I'm sorry if I did do that. It's just not been a good time for me. Still, that's no excuse. I didn't have an outburst or anything, just that I feel like I've been ruder than usual. Maybe I haven't been, but I sure feel like I have.

Personally, I feel I could be better as well. I wish I was. I wish I knew the right things to do, the right things to say.

To sum this last part up, I'm falling to pieces, but I know what I want and where I want to be so, I use the things and people I love to give me strength to cast aside doubts and distractions to try and do well this time round.

We can swing, we can swing back to happy. And we'll make it.

Life's just funny like that, isn't it?

The Village Idiot Takes To The Rostrum

2008-10-10T02:43:00.007+08:00

I've had some interesting thoughts and conversation on McCain v Obama recently.

I found a spoof video of the recent presidential debates on FunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

My (totally -unimportant -but -still -expressed -cos -it's -my -blog -and -I'll -discuss -whatever -I -want -to) opinion is that Obama's got a bit more right than McCain. The latter and the Republicans seem so outta touch with the average American population's problems and their policies reflect that. And they have a tendency to pander more to the whims of corporate America, in particular the oil and technology boys.

Not that the Democrats aren't guilty of that but less than the Reps. The Dems may seem more protectionist about American jobs but I think that's what they need right now. Their economy is in shambles I like what Obama's saying about bringing their troops home.

Enough with the war-mongering McCain. 8 years of GWB is 8 years too much. Oh, GW...Go to Youtube and type "Bushisms". You'll see.

When talking about America, he says it's "where WINGS take DREAM."

McCain was the guy that wanted to duke it out with Iran & N. Korea. Together with Iraq, Bush infamously dubbed them the "Axis of Evil."

Apparently, McCain must have been bouyed by the "success" of the Bush administration's greatest gift to the world. "Made-in-USA, Democracy In A Can" Side effects include total anarchy, chaos to lives of ordinary citizens in importing country.

At least, Clinton's Somalia incursion was reasonable. Not a search for non-existent WMDs. Sheesh.

Personally, I don't think Obama's got it all sorted out either but he sounds better than McCain. I do think it's sort of the trend to be an Obama supporter. Especially if with all the celebs speaking out. Most of them are just sick of Bush's Reps I suppose.

I gotta take a closer look at Obama's plans.

So ends this smidgen of pseudo-intelligent train of thought.

Do forgive me if you've managed to hang in this far and have not been lulled to sleep by my ridiculous tripe.

---

8 days away to my birthday. At the beginning of the year I was all set for a big night out, having a loud celebration and all that. Now? I'm more than willing to let it pass by any other day.

I have something to admit. At first, until quite recently in fact, I was hoping for a material gift from a person or two. But then, I realized that I had already been given one. Especially by this, one. It was a sense of belief, both by that person in me and me believing in myself. In there somewhere was fun, laughter, peace and joy, absolute joy.

So, right now, an uneventful birthday suits me just fine. I don't want to want or need anything. But take note, I'm not that daft that I'll refuse any gift that comes along. I'll be very thankful. Besides, not being so is just plain rude, ain't it?

I slept over at Woodlands on Monday. Spent the whole day helping Dad with his schoolwork. He's taking a private diploma.

I've still got unfinished scripts to contemplate. I so want to get them done. So many writing commitments at the moment. Yaaaggh!

Drama's starting up again today.

Festive season's been chaotic for the home.

Been out slacking. What's different is that they've been at a variety of locations, Coffee Bean and Muddy Murphy's being highlights. Stay away from the latter if your wallet has allergic reactions to paying $8 bucks for a glass of cranberry juice. Pretty much standard prices for such places, lest you've never ventured into one.

And I'm wondering what it takes to break through, whether I'll be allowed to break through that wall that's been built up. [It's a figurative wall, in case you're not that quick] Others seem to be allowed to walk around it. Apparently, being too close and knowing someone too well isn't a good thing either.

I must have missed out on reading the fine print when they gave out the box for that. [Again, figurative]

This weekend sees me out and about in a kaleidoscope of social circles. Here's hoping it'll be fun.

Smiles As They Should Be; While Coloured Embers Paint A Wonderous Glow

2008-10-02T23:48:00.007+08:00

The festive cheer and the initial rush, if there was any at all for some, has died down a bit. Back to school, back to work, yet there is still a need to find time to do more visiting, if not for the sake of visiting then at least to renew familial ties, friendship ties, fellowship ties and if they get too loose, bow ties as well.

With the festive day coming just before crucial examinations for some of the younger cousins, the parents in the horde (that's us) decided to make this year a low key affair ending by 1030 at night. Can't really complain though, I felt good catching up with the cousins and that was pretty much enough for me.

And I'm quite bothered by the fact that I still can't get my hands on T.I.'s Paper Trail album. I don't think it's been shipped to Singapore. What was initially supposed to be a trip to the next neighbourhood to get it turned out to be a long and ultimately fruitless trip all the way to the city.

Festive trips tomorrow and on Saturday. It'll be nice to see the other half of the family even if I did just see them quite recently at Grandma's 76th, about 5 weeks ago.

I may try too hard, I may be not bothered or I may do the wrong thing and in general, not do right, I sincerely have best interests at heart whenever I've done anything. I would like to convey my regrets to all and especially to some, who I may have hurt more inadvertently. Here's hoping I do better next time round.

And I'm loving this song by Elliot Yamin. It counters my disillusionment somewhat.

"FREEDOM!" - as bellowed by Mel Gibson portraying the heroic Scotsman William Wallace as his final word before being beheaded.

A random end to this, if you would please allow me.

The Bored, The Regretful, The Hopeful & Sometimes The Hopeless; All The Same Man

2008-09-28T02:04:00.005+08:00

My tummy's gotten bigger. Can't say the same for the rest of my body. But the tummy is bigger so, I suppose I am now stating the need to do something about it.

I haven't done sports in ages. I haven't been jinking about on the soccer court like I was before. I'm not purporting that I ran well before but I can say with full confidence that running, whether about or in painted circles of the tracked kind, now seem like an alien concept to me.

In short, I need to run off tummy fat. The treadmill gym, the stadium track, either one will be the venue of my choice. There is the 3rd of option of partaking in soccer again but chances are low, seeing as to how soccer is a team sport and that make up my usual team is away serving the country, as mandated by law.

I have 3 new tops from Topman (where else, huh?; Thanks to Eza for helping me pick em out!) and I'm very happy with them.

Right now, highlights are only from Saturday to Tuesday. Soccer on the telly on the weekends, latest Entourage episodes on Monday, latest Heroes & Prison Break episodes on Tuesday. The rest of the week is pretty much nothing. Honest. That's sorta sad, innit?

There's this new movie coming out soon starring Brad Pitt and the concept, I feel anyways, is quite interesting.

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

I think the idea's been done before but certainly not this way.

Last night, as I lay in bed waiting for Mr. Sandman to come, the words came to me in a clear and succinct manner. It was more organized, if you will. The same words that I've always wanted to say but I know I can never say them.

Maybe I'll pen them down in a letter. A letter that I shall not send and the recipient never receive. I'll pen them down just for the sake of doing it, perhaps a poor attempt to not bottle it up inside. But then again, writing a letter that will never be sent and therefore never received and the contents not made known...that's pretty much the same thing, isn't it?

Oh, tarnation, it sounds bad but I do really mean it in the best way possible, sometimes I wish I wasn't your friend.

Ghost Town Weekend

2008-09-22T00:18:00.004+08:00

After the wave of relief which swept me post Magus Luna, the weekend that followed petered out to nothingness.

Sure, I did watch a movie (My Best Friend's Girl) and even had rounds of bowling with the old mates from secondary school but the repetitiveness tires me so.

It doesn't help that this particular time of the year is the figurative dumping of films by the studios. They know the movies they release at this time, aren't that bankable and that's why you see a slew of pseudo-A-list movies and lots of crude movies that screen just cos they were already made. Think Bangkok Dangerous & Step Brothers. Occasionally, there is a gem or two in the pile. Think Mamma Mia & The House Bunny.

They will only start picking up in October/early November. This year, the big two at the end will probably 007's Quantum Of Solace & Twilight.

Till then, I'm not that keen on movies every week. I must have seen close to 15 this year. Unless, I think it's worth it.

The music that's out at this time doesn't catch my fancy either. There were times in the past where I found find nice songs every time I looked for it, and I know where to look. But the new music that is out at this time of the year hardly moves me.

United didn't win against Chelsea and that played its part in the mundane nature of the weekend.

Lets hope things pick up pace this following week. New festive clothes, cleaning my room and repainting it.

I've got this sudden craving to eat at Breeks.

Damn, just let this boring weekend pass.

In a bid to stave of boredom, I came across these two funny clips by Seth McFarlane, on his YouTube channel made of online comedy clips.

If you didn't know, he's the creator of animated sitcoms, Family Guy & American Dad. As of May 4, 2008, he became the highest paid television writer, after he agreed on a 4-year deal with Fox to keep the shows running? His total salary for that contract? A cool 100 million dollars!

Wanna know what happens after Mario saves the princess? (I love Mario's Italian accent)

"And by the way, by the way..." HAHA!

This one is just,haha-what-the-fuck' kinda funny.

END!

Leave The Picture In The Room Behind, Let The Days On The Road Help Us Find New Ones

2008-09-20T12:58:00.000+08:00

The beast that is Magus Luna was finally slayed.

No more BBQ Chicken with rice for the time being. It's almost become a dinner staple during rehearsals and I'm getting sick of it.

I think I did average. I could have done better. But, having said that, I do hope that I've done fairly well. To use soccer terminology, I hope I'm a young reserve player that can break into the first team in a couple of years, given the right experience and a dash of luck and not some no-hoper doomed to languish in the anonymity of the lower league divisions. Still a long, long way to go though.

Now, I want to leave the stage and I'm really hoping I still have the chance to put my playwright hat on. I want to play a significant part in the crafting of the story to be staged for TP's 20th Anniversary celebrations.

The exam results came out a while back. Not the greatest but I managed to stave off failing at least. Given the way, I've been this previous semester, I do suppose I should be thankful.

I remember how me and my best mate got to know each other was when we found out that we were the only people in the class who watched Friends RELIGIOUSLY back in Primary 5. Sure, we didn't catch all the jokes, but we knew the characters well enough and we were fully into the series a year after.

Years and years of new episodes and rerun after rerun on cable allowed us to predict the next line or the next joke that was coming cos we had already seen it before.

All these years, the main focus of people had always been either on Joey or Chandler. Joey for being adorably dumb and Chandler for his sarcastic one liners. But my mate noted that Ross, played by David Schwimmer was actually the funniest one because he was so learned and smart but he found himself in the most ridiculous of situations.

He is also the most talented actor among the bunch, if you notice his acting when he is delivering the jokes. Of course, growing up in L.A. and having a Bachelor's in theater from Northwestern University does help.

These are just two of Ross Geller's funniest moments.

PIVOT! PIVOT! PIVOT! HAHA!

Over the next week, I want paint my room and get new clothes.

That Cold Fear We Get Before The Dagger Stabs The Heart With Another Twist Of The Dagger's Handle

2008-09-13T14:59:00.006+08:00

There's a fine line between being hopeful and being foolish.

I should know all about that line. I've almost made it my home. More often than not, I find myself falling over flat and sound like a goddamn fool.

C'mon Khai, you said you'd hang in there no matter how much it was going to hurt.

You knew it was going to hurt one day.

Now, the hurt's come...deal with the pain.

Too "emo"?

Why? Can't somebody believe in something so strongly that it affects them?

In this material world, have we such an insatiable need to be "cool" that we think it's trendy to be shallow and unfeeling?

It hurts.

Just remember that whatever you offered was in sincerity and you expected no return, but you could only hope.

Know that as you write out all this, you'll probably wake up tomorrow and continue to hang on to a battle that you knew you were not likely to win when you started it in the first place.

Why do you continue hanging on then, Khai? Ans: It's because it's one of the truer things I believe in in this life and in this world and it's ability to bring out the good in me.

How can the search for a feeling associated with joy bring about so much pain?

I guess that's why I'm foolish.

Adoration, Despite All

2008-09-08T00:11:00.006+08:00

Right...bout damn time I got back to typing down events of note in my existence.

Reasons for ~~procrastinating~~ delaying these posts...

Exams
Sickness
Lack of interesting blog-able stuff happening

Right, that should be enough reasons to show how much of a lazy bugger I actually am...

So to start off, after the exams, (which shall not be discused, considering how much of a bummer such a topic is) I hung around the Engineering school labs, trying to come with decent stuff to write in a birthday card.

For all my supposed literary skill, I fail completely when it comes to writing down sincere wishes (that are fine on their own) down on a card. Plus, my already abysmal penmanship is further exacerbated by the absolute necessity to write presentably on a birthday card.

Otherwise, I'm glad I lucked out with the prezzie. Glad ya liked it!

It was also good to meet up with a few of the MIC guys for Shikin's 21st, even if it was just for a bit.

Prison Break Season 4 is back, and one character is shot dead within the 1st 30 minutes.

A shocker of a return for another.

Prison Break at its best.

The fasting month is here, which leaves the festive month weeks away. It's the only time of the year where I have a legit excuse to be blowing cash away on new, dope threads. I hope to get to it.

I went to catch an pre-release screening of Step Brothers yesterday. It was at about 1AM but it was still alright.

The movie was funny as hell. Forgettable story, funny jokes. Watch it if you like Will Ferrell being loud and noisy. Watch it if you like Talladega Nights & Anchorman.

It's been testing times for us all I'm sure, in one way or another. My mate's looking to come out of a slump and I hope he gets through.

There's been a slew of reflective conversations going on in the group which made me realize that in our own little ways, we all want the same things. It may slightly differ from one individual to the another, we all want our comforts

All the pomp and talk brought about by the different ways we view and live our lives, it doesn't matter in the end.

All our youthful ambition, will only be considered successful and fruitful if we have the important things by our side when it's all said and done and the dust settles.

Fast rides and a plush crib? No point if you don't have anyone to share it with.

Fame, (or infamy as some prefer) with thousands of screaming fans? Will any be there to share our troubles in life when we find the load to heavy to bear?

Me, myself?

I would give up all my experiences and all this supposed potential that I have with words. I would forsake popularity, the glitz and glamour of travelling the world and the creative inspiration that comes with it. Film-making, scene-writing star?

Instead, I say...

I would go back to being that mousy, geeky, quiet, unwilling little boy if it meant that I would live a full, happy life if that would guarantee the important people in my life around me.

Suffice to say, makin' it big?

No thanks, not without you. And the rest of the important people, but especially you.

Who?

I don't know. Or...maybe I do. But God has other plans.

Before I go, do ponder over this.

Do you adore that someone because that someone adores you back?

Or do you adore that someone because of who they are, the way they look and think, that nice smile AS WELL AS that pimple scar; all that is good and all that is bad about that person?

Do note, I'm not talking about anyone in particular, particularly because I have no one of that sort to talk about. I'm still a free bird. But having said that, you don't have to be with someone to adore someone, do you. Refer to paragraph just above this one...yes...because of who they are...

So am I talking about someone? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I don't really about public perception cos no one's getting hurt right? It's up to you to infer. Just know that conversations of this sort do go on and this post is a ripple effect of recent conversations that I've had.

If I could swing back into the topic...

It's a great feeling to look at that someone and smile and feel a lovely feeling cos they look so great.

But it's an even better feeling to have when you look at that someone and feel the same way even when they are looking their worst.

At least, that's what I think.

And going by the conversations I've had recently, I'm sure others I know probably feel the same way.

Audio Bites

2008-08-19T02:14:00.003+08:00

Thanks to my dumbass mate, I can't get Singh Is Kinng (sic) outta my head. It does have a little of an OG (Old Gangsta') feel to it, with Snoop D O Double G guesting on the track. The beat is what gets me.

Been downloading lots of music this past few days. Not using filesharing or torrents. =)

From classic Frank Sinatra to Hannah Montana, timeless classic and sound of the times, not difficult to figure which is which.

I was just wondering who my favourite rappers were and I came up with this;

1. T.I.
2. Lupe Fiasco
3. Lil' Wayne
4. Kanye West
5.The Game

I'm not saying they are the top or anything but I just like listening to them. It's a current list, not an all time one.

I don't really know what to make of the following yet but....

Hayden Panettiere - Wake Up Call

I like the song, I think it's a decent attempt to sound different. At least better than Ali Lohan's single. Ali (Aliana) Lohan is the younger sister of a more (in)famous Lohan.

She looks a bit like Jessica Simpson in the video and the song seems to have almost the same vibe as No Doubt's Underneath It All.

DAMN, come to think of it, the song does sound dangerously close to Paris Hilton's "Stars Are Blind".

She does slip into Paris' voice at times but it differs enough for me to save her.

As for the video...it could be better but she does look good, especially with black hair. What? You did not expect me to dislike a video that has Hayden Panettiere in it, did you?

Actually, the song might actually be rubbish and maybe I'm blinded by my preference for anything HayP related.

Gym Class Heroes have a very likeable single out, Cookie Jar ft The Dream. Dream rips off T-Pain too much for me but I still like the song.

Another cheeky song by GCH.

Lastly, Neyo's back with another one, "Miss Independent" Does this dude EVER stop working? It seems like he's everywhere all the time.

No video yet so just listen to the audio here.

More studying tomorrow, with a little bit of fun.

I'm off to look for more new music.

Sincerity Is Enhanced When It's Harder To Give

2008-08-17T19:45:00.004+08:00

Saturday in the AM was fun, finding an old stack of CDs, the gang going through tunes of the past, listening to the songs that were anthems of that time. We relived the teenage days. It was fun, remembering how hot Holly Valance is and how adorable Jennifer Love Hewitt was.

I daresay, Jenny Love was my Jessica Alba before Jessica Alba came around in Idle Hands. Any dispute, just watch the movie "Can't Hardly Wait", a teentime fave of mine.

Before I FULLY focus on studying from tomorrow onwards, I found a revelation today that hurt and disappointed me.

I expected it to come sooner or later but I still couldn't be prepared when it came. It's only a matter of time before this revelation materializes.

I think that despite this, I must remember that whatever I do, I do so out of sincerity. If I do something for someone expecting something in return, I'd be better off not doing it in the first place.

For now, the books call me. Drama's off, projects are done and mates will be cooped up in institutions, undergoing National Service.

Others will probably be busy with other people but there's really nothing I can do about that.

So, I'll just study.

I'll prepare my little token to please, to be presented on a day of celebration but I'm sure that there are others in place who will outdo me.

No matter, as long as what I offer is sincere.

Right now, I know where I want to be and what I want but I don't know how to get there and get it.

Will God allow it?

I have a possible writing project coming up with the mates. It's only a pipe dream now but hopefully it comes about. Enough about talking about cool stories and movies, 'bout time we started writing one.

It's a helluva long way but maybe one day, we'll hold a finished manuscript in our hands.

Lastly, for those who don't know, Lupe Fiasco is a kickass lyricist. Check out his song, "Hip Hop Saved My Life

Please Stay

2008-08-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

Just came of a soccer game today. Been awhile since I had one of those.

Didn't fare too well. We lost 10-6. I personally did my simple job very badly. Rustiness played a part but some of the goals conceded were just plain stupid. I should have done a lot better, but that's enough of that.

I think I want to write a song. It's for a special occasion. No, it's not for Singapore's National Day. Ah well, see what I come up with.

I need to get my study on. But first, I suppose I need to clean my room. It's a very related issue.

It was nice spending all this weekend alone at home. Not that I was home lots. Was out and about this weekend. Only was home really this weekend.

My mom and sis just came back from Jakarta. I really don't mean to sound like an ingrate but none of the stuff the bought for me fit. I really appreciate the gesture but I can't wear them at all.

Come here, please hold my hand, Lord, now
Help me, I'm scared please show me how
To fight this, God has a master plan
And I guess, I am in his demand

Please save me, this time I cannot run
And I'll see, you when this is done
And now I, have come to realize
That you are, the one who's left behind

Please stay untill I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me
I'm right here waiting

I see, the light it feels good
And I'll come, back soon just like you would
It's use less, my name has made the list
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me
I'm right here waiting
And take my one last breath
And don't forget
That I will be right here waiting (x3)

Blink 182 - "Not Now"

Because the words mean so much to me. Hear the actual song here.

With this I shall go on to another week facing trials and tribulations but always hoping for grace and salvation.

Whatever You Like

2008-08-09T03:54:00.002+08:00

It's not a real post but I thought I'd post this video. It's a little bit anti-feminist but the general idea is there. A little fanciful but I'd like to be able to do something similar to what T.I. is doing for the girl in the video one day, to my very own girl.

That don't mean I think that my girl wouldn't be able to survive on her own. She would be so fly that she probably will shine on her own.

But like Neyo once crooned, "I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together."

It does help that the song is kick-ass. T.I's swagger at the very best.

Back with an actual post soon.

Just The Tip Of The Iceberg

2008-08-03T02:21:00.003+08:00

The Psychology test wasn't too bad. It could have gone a lot worse but it didn't and I think I'll survive.

Things have toned down a tad. Only the Psychology presentation left standing.

I even did a bit Biz Finance after, even though it was only the tutorial.

I've had much to contemplate in the past two days.

I've been questioning my worth recently. It's not low self-esteem. It's just, I know I'm capable of achieving much more, that I'm not just average. I have little accomplishments that I can achieve. Not that there's anything wrong with being average but I'm sick of being "the nearly man", one who does many things but never quite achieving anything.

I don't want to just talk and talk and not deliver. Surely this is not all I can be? There are so many pre-conceived notions and expectations about what I can do, my talents and my abilities. Will I not use them to do something with my life, or will I just slip into anonymity and be just another person who won't bother because chasing dreams aren't practical in the real world?

Out of all the negativity, is a long-standing positive truth. No matter what happens, good or bad, there is always somethere there to inspire, help us keep our heads up. We only need to look for it, no matter how bleak the situation seems to be.

It is that truth that keeps me going on, to try to be better, for myself and that truth.

Pardon the generalizations. But basically what I'm trying to say (for my own sake, mostly) is that I can be better than the average person that people think I am. I can work harder, be more creative, write this, take up this hobby, etc.

The only person stopping me from really fulfilling my potential is me. I'm just using the real world as an excuse. After all, if I really want it, I should go for it, right?

Keep On Keeping On

2008-07-27T23:53:00.000+08:00

I actually started on this post a week ago.

I guess I've been too busy/lazy to finish it, but I decided to use it again as it's still very applicable.

It looks like another week of staggered little deadlines, sandwiched in between two drama sessions. Pretty much the same way it's been for the past month.

And thanks to Nareeza giving me some seaweed chips, I've been wanting McDonald's to bring back it's seaweed shaker fries.

I remember when they had it. Some days, I used to get an extra order of large fries just cos I wanted more of the seaweed-flavoured fries. It's weird though, I don''t actually eat the seaweed slices that they sell at the corner stores cos I find the smell I bit too strong. But apparently, I like 'em fine on fries.

The pre-installed trial for Microsoft Office on my laptop has just expired and I've got no cash to go and get the full version.

Not till tomorrow. That certainly puts me in a spot of bother, considering the amount of typed work I still have to get done.

Rihanna's Take A Bow (and its various cover versions) seems to be a popular song for bloggers to put on their blog. I've come across at least 3 blogs with that song. There are more but I just can't be certain of the blogs where I came across the song.

I realized I haven't been out for quite a bit.

For 9 days, I haven't really slacked or met the mates. Thank God for instant messaging.

Slowly, as the hours pass by and deadlines come and go, my project load gets lighter and lighter.

Wait, I think it's more correct if I say "Excruciatingly, the hours pass by..."

There's still a lot to do.

MBS test tomorrow.

HRM Presentation, Wednesday.

French Speaking Test, Thursday.

It's about time to start studying for the exams. It might seem a little early, but I actually need all the time I can get.

Oh, I just remembered, Psychology common test next week. and I'm missing a few chapter's notes. Better go get them tomorrow.

I might seem irresponsible and might be down to poor time management but I think I'm only gonna start focusing on the script for Magus Luna after the projects (except for the Psychology presentation in 2 weeks) are over and done with.

School...damn, that's all I ever talk about. Is my life so devoid of variety that there is nothing else?

The world's a big place that I'd love to explore but at the end of the day, all I want to is to come back to wherever you are.

I'm loving my current blog song.

At the risk of being too direct..

I wish you'd stop hating on yourself. You're much more and much better than you give yourself credit for. I wish you could see what I see in you. I wish you had more reasons to smile cos I don't like to see a dear friend like feeling downbeat. You've got a tenacity and determination that's gotten you farther than all the haters expected you to reach and you've been through so much.

Others might say I make you out to be too perfect but I say that I'm your friend because your imperfections make you who you are and they make your plus points stand out even more.

Whatever happened to the more carefree days that we once knew?

If I could go back, I'd bring you with me and we'll have a ball of a time reliving the memories.

Who's this for?

A friend. Will it been seen? It doesn't matter. I've said my peace and I'm not too bothered about speculation.

This post has a mish-mash of topics of randomness and also topics of particular importance and depth.

Which will end here.

Crew Crazy

2008-07-19T01:15:00.004+08:00

As previously mentioned, I have the new Magus Luna script and even further back, the Psychology project video and Dramatec admin stuff to do as well. Those things are still on my plate.

Tomorrow, I'll be meeting my classmate to do the French speaking test script.

I have to submit my part for the HRM report by Monday. (I must admit that this is probably killing everyone else too)

On Sunday, I'll have to meet my dad to help him with his part-time school stuff.

And something new on my plate, I have to be present for my mates' soccer match as I am tasked with writing match reports and will have to set up a blogspace for the team. It's fun but it's still something on my plate. I must say that writing match reports will be much more fun than HRM reports.

Haha.

Play? It's been ages since I did so properly. I might as well have "retired". And even if I wasn't, I probably couldn't find the time to play. Not with all these things that I have to do.

I've been watching episodes of the 2nd season of America's Best Dance Crew. I think the field is more even with each team having their own strengths and weaknesses. I don't think it's gonna be like last season where it allowed the Jabbawockeez to kill it every week.

You can watch it here. No judges comments, I think. You can still get some of the earlier episodes on YouTube, if they haven't taken it down. I think this user still has some proper vids.

And Jabbawockeez are making appearances everywhere now. Like the BET Awards Show, MTV Movie Awards, MTV Asia Awards (I wanna go see them there!) and also get spots in videos like these. They're really making full use of their 15 minutes of fame.

Yeah, I think they're great but I expect them to fizzle out sooner or later. The usual with reality show winners.

I guess this is my small joy before all the work that I will have to be buried in the near future.

I Want My Heroine Back

2008-07-18T01:21:00.002+08:00

Last Monday, my Magus Luna performance group overhauled the storyline that we had come up with and went with a completely new one. I have to come up with the script but I ain't even able to think of the title. If you take away the fact that I'm one of those guys that don't start work with by thinking of titles first.

But even then, I'm still stuck.

Thank God the project meeting for tomorrow got junked. Not that I really hated it or anything. I would have come, but it's just that had the thing been on tomorrow I would be dead tired by the time the end of drama rolled around at 830pm; having done project work for hours before that.

I can't wait for Heroes to come back in September. I miss Claire Bennet aka Hayden Panettiere. The word round Tinseltown is that real life partner and co-star Milo Ventimiglia is shopping for wedding rings.

SAY IT ISN'T SO!!

I'll try not to begrudge the age gap of her 18 years to his 31 years and they do look cute together but I don't really like the thought of Hayden Panettiere being off the market so early. I mean, c'mon, she's 2 years younger than me, for God's sake!

It's most probably the rumor mill's work again and it's not really true. But if it is, I suppose Milo's looking to tie Hayden down pretty early so she doesn't get away and then marry her in a couple of years.

Lucky bastard, or as the french say...bâtard...

I can't wait for September to roll around.

Not only will Heroes be there but so will Season 4 of Prison Break.

Teevee's gonna be good again.

Especially when Hayden P's oncreen.

Haha.

I did my French online test. 7/10. Bummer! I expected to do better. It was the same score that I got last time.

French speaking test in two weeks. Scary.

We'll Go Wherever You Want To

2008-07-14T23:57:00.003+08:00

Oh good God, when will the madness end!

One thing about my life during the school term that I find quite true is that I hardly go out. With the exception of the spate of movies in May, (for the sake of spending time with friends while I still could) I find that I can be totally immersed in the mindset of being at school that any free time is mostly made up of slacking around the hood or just chilling at home.

The thought of going out and having a good time doesn't cross my mind.

Now, I'm stuck with

Magus Luna script
Scriptwriting workshop assignment
HRM PEER TEACHING NOTES (ARRGGH!)
Dramatec admin matters

Not for the first time in many nights, I'll be getting some shut eye and then getting up in the dead of the night to do my work. I think this is better than doing work and then sleeping late. At least my body's had a bit of rest.

This will probably go on till the submssion of the HRM project at the end of this month. From then on, it's mugging for the exams. Needless to say, everyone in my cohort will be happy come the end of the week of August 22.

Till then, we expect little rest. In fact, we're expecting to get more and more drained.

All that is on top of CDS common tests, tutorial work.

Human Resource Management is the proverbial kitchen sink in an already heavy pile.

Dates to note are 2nd August (CDS Common Test) and I think my mom and sister are going to Jakarta for a couple of days. That'll give me the run of the house but I'll probably be too busy to notice, with Magus Luna just a couple of days away.

At the end of it all, I want to run. I'd dearly wish you'd take a chance and run with me.

For once, break your shackling ball and chain and do what makes you smile, without a care in your heart.

Think not of it as nothingness, but a plan and time set aside for random joy. Your random joy.

Thunder

2008-07-12T21:23:00.003+08:00

I want to get a game on my laptop. Probably something cheap like Hitman, the first one. Just something that can entertain me for a bit.

But, for the coming months, I'd also like to get,

Football Manger 2009 (slated for release 31/10/08)
T.I.'s newest album, Paper Trail (out 09.09.08)

I really hope to be able to start mugging for the exams soon. Maybe by sometime late next week.

There's this girl, whose name I've been trying to find out for the better part of a year and a half and I'm nowhere close. She's in the same course as me.

I happened to be in the same classroom as her once recently and the teacher that I wanted to see called out her name but at that moment I was focused on noting down equations and I didn't realize till after that the teacher had called out to her.

If only I had listened, I would have known her name now.

Truly a "D'OH!" moment.

I'm not sure if this is already playing on local airwaves (cos I don't really listen to local radio) but I like this song.I couldn't find an embeddable version of the video so I took this really nice self-made video that has very nice pictures that fit the song.

Boys Like Girls - Thunder

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

7..6...

2008-07-10T01:08:00.002+08:00

The mate's off to NS tomorrow. Good luck to him, but not too down about it. Will be seeing him in two weeks time anyway.

The gang's thinning as one by one, we go off to serve the country.

I've just been to the 4th scriptwriting class today. Hard to imagine, that come 2009. A short play will be staged based on what 10 of us have written. Even harder still, to imagine a 2 hour play in 2010, in conjunction with TP's 20th anniversary, being staged at Audi 1 and all the high and mighty people there to watch it. You might say it's pressure to come up with something good but at this point of of time it's too far away to be anything.

Just realized that I have roughly about 6 weeks left to the exams. Which is pretty short. I arrive at joy and fear. Joy for the fact that it's 7 weeks left to the holidays and of course, 6 weeks left to the exams.

I think I'm starting to get bitten by the soccer bug again. I can't wait to get my hands on the new edition of Football Manager 2009, though it's still a few months away from release.

I've been browsing through lots more vids on YouTube nowadays.

I like this song.

Colby O'Donis ft Akon - What You Got

Laterz.

From Thy's To Trance

2008-07-08T23:25:00.001+08:00

Mein Gott! The German maestro, Paul van Dyk is coming down to spin at Zouk Singapore on Sunday 28th July.

Alas, most of the partners in crime will be booking in into camp and whoever is left will be too insignificant to make it a good, fun night.

A waste. Paul van Dyk's is one of my few favourites in the trance scene.

Went to catch MacBeth yesterday night. Made a rush of it by coming slightly late. Got better seats after the intermission.It was nice to see a live version after reading about it when I was younger. A very decent play If only someone would tackle Twelfth Night or Othello next.

MacBeth had mad eye contact and presence. King Duncan, for those who know and remember, was the Indian old man, who played the provision shop owner in the long-running local series, Growing Up.

No school today but as usual, I'm swamped in projects.

I had a driver problem with my new laptop since yesterday but I resolved it by calling Acer for technical support. That's good cos my mom never knows that it happened. Not like it was my fault at all, it was an internal software/hardware thing But all the same, she'd more than likely think it was my fault.

Glad that didn't happen.

I sorta screwed up on Monday. I know she's gonna say to me that it's okay. But I know it's not. She doesn't need one more buzzing round her peskily. She's already got so many she has to deal with, at at time where she doesn't need it and doesn't want to deal with it.

The easy way out is to pretend it never happened. I don't know what to do. I know what the right thing to do is. But I'm afraid that she wants to pretend as if it never happened. I say that cos I'm thinking she's not in the mood to deal with stuff like this right now.

I'll have to wait and see and suss out the situation a bit.

I actually have more to ponder but I'll save part for another day.

Habitual Posting

2008-07-07T02:04:00.002+08:00

I don't know why and how I've managed the find to blog regularly again. Not too many read this blog but it's never been a numbers game for me. It's somehow still alive after 3 years. I'm just glad I have a place to express myself, for my own sake and if whatever I say befits the interest of others, so be it. Hardly think so though, I'm about as exciting as drying paint.

Every damn time the inspiration to blog hits, I forget what I wanted to blog about in the first place.

Going to see a local production of MacBeth tomorrow. Hope it's good.

Tsk, tsk, I am now multi-tasking. I'm working on a project, blogging, Facebooking and surfing the Net all at the same time.

I finally finished reading the copy of "To Kill A Mockingbird" that I bought last year. Just to see what the all the fuss was about.

Next up, "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" by Ken Kesey, written in 1962. Apparently, he wrote it while he was high on drugs like LSD. Interesting.

Also, Ernest Hemmingway's "For Whom The Bell Tolls"

Yeah, I know this following song is dated but I think it fits so very much now.

It's obviously a cover of an old Mariah Carey song.

And just for kicks, for those open-minded people when it comes to music and also for those who will be bewildered and asking what in blazes am I doing, listening to such a song comes the following...

Imran Khan - Ni Nachle(h)

While I'm not open to all kinds of music, I like to think I'm pretty varied, being able to change from listening to Avenged Sevenfold, Imran Khan, Carrie Underwood and Daft Punk with relative ease.

Right, I'd better get back to the project then.

I suffer now to love and be loved later. Good night, love.

Fatherly Yearn

2008-07-06T17:21:00.003+08:00

Went out with dad and the rest of the family yesterday. Pretty low key. We hit Raffles City mall for a bit of cake before we drove to the airport for a very late dinner at the 24-hour Breeks.

It was nothing special but us kids were pretty light-hearted. Making jokes and messing about with the camera.

Sitting next to my dad, I did catch his expression a few times. I couldn't really tell for sure but I was certain that there was a sense of contentment within him, seeing his kids all together and all merry.

In the past, I did say to the close friends that I don't want to be like him, in the sense that I didn't want to make the mistakes that he made. How he left my family before I was born and he wasn't exactly a responsible person. He left before I was born and left my mom for another woman.

I'd really like to say that it's all water under the bridge but because I love my mom I can't. I think it's one of those things that doesn't really ever go away but we make it work somehow. My mom and my dad don't interact much, they're hardly at the same place at the same time ever but we make it work. Looking at the positive side, $I have a stepmom, a half-brother and 3 half-sisters and I consider them as such, brother and sisters.Plus, of course, my sister that lives with me.

He's much different now. He still makes mistakes that irk us but he tries.

I tried to put myself in his shoes and imagine being his age and having six kids, minus the divorce and remarriage. The word 'crazy' comes to mind.

I mean, 6 kids? "What the hell wrong with you, dad? Lol! Me with 2, 3 maybe. But SIX? Haha!

He says he likes it when he sees all his kids together. If I were to imagine again,maybe I would like that too. It's just that I've been focusing on the girl, as is normal for one having my youth.

So, maybe in that sense, I am my father's son after all. Just not have SIX of 'em!

So that ends it.

The Jabbawockeez are gonna be at the 2008 MTV Asia Awards!

Now, I wanna go! It's in Malaysia on the 2nd of August so I don't think I'll get a chance to go. But I sure wish that I could.

Till next time...

Like everyone else, I wish I could turn back time and do better for you.

Too Tired To Think Of A Smart Title So Here You Go

2008-07-05T03:57:00.002+08:00

It's late I'm tired and I want to be at school bright and early later to do project research but I guess I'm making a post here.

Just came back from watching Hancock. My third movie in as many weeks. It was aight. Nothing spectacular. 7/10. Maybe 7.5, just cos Will Smith was the lead.

I have a test coming up, which I simply have to ace next Saturday, given that I missed the last test.

"I haven't seen you in a while. I kinda miss you. I wonder what's going on with you but you're probably too busy,stressed and excited all at the same time to wonder the same about me. Actually, I wonder if you even do at all. It doesn't matter, it never has. Go on, soon enough the world will see you shine, just like IToo knew it was in you all this while."

They're having offers for volunteers for the upcoming F1 race. Non-paying, but I think it's worth it. Thing is, the race is in September and during the fasting month so the though of standing in the hot sun from Thursday's practice session right through to race day on Sunday suddenly isn't that attractive.

I'd better get some shuteye while I still can. Hopefully my dreams will be better than my morbid reality. It's fine by me cos I admittedly have the nature of a dreamer.

Refreshed

2008-06-29T16:44:00.003+08:00

Typing in this post with my new laptop. More relived then anything. Though not buying through the school vendors means that I haven't got M. Office in there and will have to purchase the software.

I wish I had money so I could buy other software, just so I can make this new laptop run better.

What I did this past few weeks, up till now.

- Went for Drama Camp which was pretty aight, just like most school camps are.

- Watched "The Hulk, "You Don't Mess With The Zohan" and "Wanted", in just over 2 weeks.

- Went back to school during the break to meet up with my Psychology project group and tried to do the video for our project. Emphasis on 'tried'.

Basically been hanging out with the mates a lot. A few of them are going in NS soon, with some already in. It's gonna be a whole lot more quiet from now on.

That sucks.

Hopefully I'll hang out with my homegirl at school more, if she ain't too busy, something she always seems to be.

So that puts me nowhere.

What's next?

I think I'm going to be buried in research for the next few weeks. Projects beckon. An absolute bitch.

Oh, when I went to watch Wanted, cabbed with my sis and helped her carry some of her heavy stuff to somewhere, I went ahead to meet the mates and I ran into someone from the past, someone who I have always thought of as very nice and thought of in very pleasant (and clean) ways. I probably don't register much on that person's radar but it was still very nice to run into that person.

Yay, only school on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday this week.

I MEANT It When I Said Forever & After

2008-06-18T17:30:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I don't feel like it's all worth it. There's so much pressure.

Do I be a man, and strong and just bear the weight, or do I cut my losses and run, hoping to save what's important to me.

After all, that's all that matters to me. That's why I call them the important things.

If I just tak away all the clutter, I look into the past and realize the first reason I'm doing all this for, that special girl.

Gosh, it sounds so incredibly mushy and I want to barf but if you could excuse the mushiness, I'm dead serious. I had this whole thing going on about being in a position where I could be a contributing, productive member of society and making a living for my 'baby girl' (once again, pardon the term of endearment)

I mean, if I were to be told that being a sewage worker would be fulfiiling for me and would allow me to have a good life with that girl that I end up with, I would gladly follow that road.

These days, such is my mood that I would throw away the increasing amount of responsibilities if I could just plain simply get what I want. It's almost like selling my soul to the devil. Of course, I won't do that.

I'm missing her and I'm missing the good 'ol days. When things were more certain.Unlike now, I'm not even sure I can find what I KNOW I want.

"Like violence, you have me forever and after."

The laptop is still spoilt so updates will be rare.

Hopefully I'll get a new one soon. Hopefully HP.

Droppin By

2008-06-10T00:50:00.003+08:00

I hardly ever post anymore.

A number of reasons but the fact that the laptop screen is only half-functional is a contributing problem as well. It's difficult to see what I'm typing.

Mentally, it's been a tumultuous time.

I've gotten so caught up chasing things in the material world and focusing on a material-centered future that I've forgotten about what really matters, namely love, compassion and faith.

Do pardon me if I sound preachy but at this point I don't really give a damn.

I've been putting on a facade of normalcy when the reality is far from it.

I shan't apologize for sounding preachy again but I am an individual that believes in God and I can only hope He believes in me as well.

I'm not done chasing dreams and goals. I guess I'd rather not focus on the material aspects and instead focus on the ideals that make me feel right when chasing these goals and dreams.

Sometimes, I find that the world can be a big, scary place.

I wish I could go back to being that 9-year old kid who liked to watch the little-known and short-lived show "Two Of A Kind". Haha, yeah I'll say it, I had a phenomenal crush on Mary Kate Olsen. Yeah, the now-anorexically-inclined one. I'm still fond of her. Just a bit.

And I feel all alone, no one by my side at all. All I have is my hope and my faith.

Hopefully it's enough.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll start making regular posts again.

More Of You, Less Of Me

2008-05-17T23:56:00.003+08:00

Realized that I haven't been updating for a while.

Haven't been doing too great. At times, my conviction and belief in all that is good in this world, has been shot to pieces.

It has not come at a good time with school in full swing. I am very much behind in more than one module.

In less turbulent times, I would have been on top of things like this but I am now just very mentally exhausted.

Much love for my friends who keep me sane.

I'll keep going till my very last breath.

It would have been much easier if you were around more but I am thankful you're still in my life.

The guiding light that stays there despite the increasing encroachment of the depressing darkness.

It says it all, that with every passing test of mettle, you are shining brighter and brighter and I am only faltering.

You shall soon be well-placed to shine again even if it doesn't look that way right now.

Go on, no matter what happens to me, I'll always believe in you.

Caught a screening of "Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" in the wee hours of Saturday morning.

Funny as hell. Worth a watch for those possibly interested to do so.

At the end of it all, you're pretty much the only thing I need.

Ride Writes

2008-05-08T23:24:00.005+08:00

"Undying Love"

As he lay there, with the last remnants of life seeping out of his wracked body, he could not help but to break out into a smile. For it was now, in the darkest of moments, was where he was allowed one last indulgence. One that was perhaps the sweetest of them all.

Through the blinding pain, he could just make out her lovely form. He also realized that his head was cradled snugly on her bended knee.

She was sobbing, the tears cascading down her soft, pillowy cheeks. He didn't like that. He didn't like to see her hurt at all. Not even the slightest bit. He wanted to tell her to stop crying. He tried to raise his hand to wipe away her tears, tried to tell her to be still so they could enjoy the moment but nothing happened. His hand did not budge and his voice had gone. So she continued.

"If only you could hear me," he thought.

He wanted to tell her that he was smiling because God had granted his wish. In his final moments, God allowed her to come to him to share a few precious seconds together.He was smiling because of her.Nothing else mattered, not even the searing pain.

Had he been able to choose the way to leave this world, he would not have plumped for anything else. This was perfect. He loved being next to her, around her. He knew he could never have her. But that never stopped him from being true in his ways towards her, even if he had to endure the pain of unrequited fondness.

Just like she always did, she brought a smile to his face and also to his heart. She had done so when God decided let her into his life and it had remained that way, always, even now. He passed with a sense of joy and contentment. His only regret was that she had to feel pain and hurt because of it.If he could, he probably would change that too. He might be gone, but he knew his love for her would never go.

"Goodbye, my everything"

That came into my head on the taxi ride back home. It just came, I wasn't really thinking of anything.

I was sick in the morning. But I decided to come to school, even after a visit to the doctor's. I didn't wanna miss out on lessons.Or else I would miss too much. Went to the library to watch a movie during my break. Based on the true story on how the US soccer team beat England 1-0.

I wish Ryan Cabrera would come up with a new album full of ballads. Not award-winning material maybe, similar to his previous works. But just like his previous works, inspiring to me.

Going to be a busy weekend yo.

I like.

The title race is going down to the wire.

Bring on the final weekend. United for the title. And the Champions League as well, though fingers are crossed on that 2nd one.

I just realized what I want for my 21st birthday this year. It'll probably never happen.

It's nothing materialistic. But it's not something intangible like more good luck either. I can happen. It can be made to happen. But it probably won't.

So I'll end it at that.

Still A Stubborn Fool

2008-05-07T23:45:00.003+08:00

I guess I've been really letting updating this blog slide lots.

I used to average a post per 3 days.

Nowadays, lots happen but I don't even let people who come here know about it.

The project mates have been way decent. I like 'em. It helps lots in making the project more bearable when our project facilitator is one that spouts lots of hot air, talking lots yet never really being able to say anything that matters at the same time.

Problem-based learning projects are sorta new. It's easier (than straight on studying) but harder (cos of its independent nature) at the same time.

I watched Superhero Movie. I think these kinds of movies are best seen online, on cable or on DVD. Totally not worth a cinema trip, a trip which I unfortunately made.

5 out 10 stars

I also went to watch Iron Man today.

Now this on the other hand, is one worth watching on the big screen. By far, the most in depth and developed movie adaptation of a comic book series (based on a single movie release and not comparable to Spiderman, which had a trilogy)

The fact that the storyline was less formulaic; less action but more talk, actually aided the action when it did come.

The fact that great care was taken to focus on Tony Stark the man and not just Iron Man the superhero was a fact that wasn't lost on me.

Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of an egocentric genius carried the movie. I think the director and him really succeeded in making sure that this wouldn't be just a good blockbuster that would rake in the cash but also a good, sound movie in its own right.

Oh, there was also a part that made me go, "Did a white guy just try to speak Hindi?"

8.5 out of 10 stars.

I feel slightly overwhelmed with my new responsibilities in Dramatec at times but I know for a fact that it is only that way due to my own poor time and priority management.

School on Thursday is a drag. 9am-6pm. 3 tutorials and a lecture. A one hour break somewhere in there.

But due to my absolute refusal to wake up in the mornings, I will have to attend a Psychology lecture from 6pm to 7pm. I missed my lecture, scheduled for 9am today.

In my own free time, I've been mouthing a couple of French words and phrases. Just like German however, the time-telling is proving to be tricky.

As I usually do, I'll end off in an introspective manner.

I've been telling you a white lie only to make you believe that the smile on my face is genuine and nothing is wrong and I'm fine. However, I'd dearly wish that you know the truth; I still hold on to the memories.

The Klutz Prays For Grace

2008-05-02T00:15:00.005+08:00

I think I sorta screwed up my first task for Dramatec.

Huzzah, Khai. =(

If I was living in bleaker times, the mobs would be shouting 'Off with his head!"

I had a tutorial which totally slipped my mind. I'll have to do it before the lesson tomorrow.

I will be looking to make a trip down to Flash N' Splash at the Heeren sometime soon. I might be able to find a wallet that I like.

I heard that there the next overseas trip my school will be offering will be to Australia. I so wanna go! It's a study trip of sorts and it will be conducted during the holidays.

Despite the obvious burning of my vacation, I might still want to go cos it's a rare thing to be able to go. I want to find out what it's like to live/work in another country (not counting holiday trips to the relatives' in the past)

It's gonna cost a bomb though. Maybe $1000+, after subsidy by the school.

Will have to talk to my mom about it. Hopefully I can afford it.

I went to the mall for a bit just now though in the end, it was a total waste of time. I didn't see any nice pencil cases and I did get some stationery at the bookstore but I put them all back when I saw the long lines at the cashier.

Nagging moms with whiny kids. No way I was going to wait in line with that.

The mall was way too crowded and I keep getting bumped around and I had to squeeze past loads of people.

Thank God the bus home came quick to relieve me from the misery. I only spent half an hour at the mall.

Supposed to get my new phone but I can't cos drama will be ending late.

On a random note, tomorrow will be the debut of my new sneaks. Why I say that is cos I had wanted to give them a debut today but I couldn't since today's plans got quashed.

Looking forward to Saturday. That's when I'll probably get the time to head down to Heeren for my wallet, get my phone and get back in time for the Man Utd game.

Sounds like a plan.

Speaking of plans, hope everything goes well at drama later on in the evening.
(read: no more screwups, Khai!)

Another Time Perhaps

2008-05-01T10:54:00.003+08:00

A brief respite in what has been an occupying week.

At long last, I finally got a pair of Adidas Originals. It seemed that I wouldn't get it.

The first outlet I went to didn't have my size. So they reserved a pair for me at another outlet. Since I started school late the next day, I dropped down to town in the morning to go get it. I managed to try on the reserved pair, only to realize that Originals shoes have a wider cut than Adidas Indoor Soccer shoes (the kind I usually get) so I needed half a size smaller.

And of course, that store that I was at, didn't have my size. Just my luck.

The only store that did? The store I first went to the other night.

And not only that, they only had one pair left.

It was on the mannequin!

I had no choice but to get it. They did say it was new and untouched. It seemed quite like that when I inspected it.

The pair of shoes set me back a nice sum. To make matters worse, I bought a pair of (overpriced!) Adidas socks just so it could feel like a 'complete' purchase.

Talk about acting on impulse.

I don't know why it's so difficult to find a pair of 11 or 11 1/2's. I think a lot of people have feet my size. Well, not too many but I feel that Adidas under-stocks shoes of these sizes. Hence the problem.

My mom wanted to change some notes with me, and upon seeing the terrible condition of my wallet, she promptly gave me extra cash and told me to get a new wallet.

Can't be too mad about that, can I?

Other than that, in general, I'm feeling the pain of clashing schedules.

It ties in with the previous post of doing what I have to do and what I want to do.

I wish I could blow off my responsibilities and just go and have fun. I have two invitations to go out and have fun on Friday. One is a gathering and the other is just a day out with a dear friend to help her find some stuff.

But I can't do either one because of this responsibility.

Sigh. Sometimes I wish I was enough of a reckless rebel to just up and leave when I feel like it. Sadly I'm not.

I know that I have to carry out this responsibility for the simple reason that it's the right thing to do.

It's what I would expect of myself, others (even my friends) and it's probably what they would expect of me. To do the right thing.

Another chance goes begging. That's all I'll say to end this part.

On another note, United are in the Champions League Final! It was a nervy game to watch.

This Saturday is the 1st of two final games that if we win, will see us wrap up the league title.

I think I've mentioned this before.

I've realized the value of a United game at the weekend. After a really busy week, I can just really forget about all that happened and instead, for 90 minutes, invest all my emotions in my favourite team.

It's like a real treat after the ups and downs of the week.

And I just realized, that the season is ending soon. And the school semester just started. Gulp.

The European Championships are going to be on and I am interested, but not on the same level.

Oh dang it. What am I to do...

The first few weeks after the league season ends are the hardest. Withdrawal symptoms kick in after you turn on the telly on a Saturday night and realize there's nothing on except for repeat matches. That's not fun at all.

Remember when I asked for my life to be more 'happening'?

I think I can't do that even if I want to cos there's always something else I have to attend to first.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

The Bottom Line

You have been doing too many things on the go lately, and this pace has to stop.

In Detail

You have been doing too many things on the go lately, and this reckless pace has to stop. Sure, you've been promising yourself for days that you were going to cut back and get some downtime, but when are you going to come through on that promise? Make that day today. Cancel or postpone whatever you can and give yourself a few hours of nothing to do. Being productive or busy is not the same thing as being happy. You need to reconnect with yourself and just chill out.

Yeah I wish I could. Well not totally, I still want to go for those two invatations to go and have fun.

I'm a slacker that always seems to have work to do. Go figure.

Temporary Highs

2008-04-26T23:39:00.004+08:00

I'm rather downcast and doubtful right now.

Not really sad or unhappy outright.

More like disappointed.

United lost to Chelsea, putting their hold on the title in considerable doubt.

I'm displeased with myself for missing chances to do fun, creative things while others are able to do so and have a ball of a time.

Like missing the GSE concert at the Esplanade. I look set to miss out on the We Will Rock You musical as well. It's ending it's run this Sunday night.

I'm sure there were others that I missed out as well.

In place of that, is nothing but well, 'nothing'. Just mundane days, doing things I have to do, totally missing out on what I want to do.

I believe there has be to be a fair balance. Or at least 75% 'have' and 25% 'want'.

There are others out there who take advantage of the rights that come along with being youth and have absorb as much fun as they can out of life.

There are also others that choose to sit and let life pass them by but I'm not going to talk about them.

I know that my life can be more than what it is now. More fun, more fulfilling, more varied.

But, I know that life as a young adult today is by no means a cakewalk. Life's tough enough as it is, the least I/we should be able to do is do the things we want to do to alleviate the stress/boredom of life.

But I don't feel like I'm doing that.

So while others do and grow from strength to strength, (cos the fun they have gives them energy to deal with life) I'm stuck in monotony which I very much dislike.

I know the things that I can do to change that. But I'm having trouble putting it all together.

To put it in layman's terms,

I want my life to be more happening, can?

Empty Without What Was There Before

2008-04-22T01:43:00.004+08:00

I'm wondering how it is that I'm hearing Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" playing ubiquitously, all over the airwaves and MTV.

I could have sworn I heard it way, way back. Like at least a year ago. At least, probably more.And I didn't just hear it, it was one of my favorites back then.

Pretty late release if it was from the latest album.

French today was c'est magnifique. It was fun. I had to go today cos I would miss tomorrow's lecture due to the CCA Roadshow.

To be honest, I feel like I've had to put on more of a facade than usual, hiding the real me from the world. There's an empty feeling that I have and I've fought like hell to get it back to the way it was. There is a certain cause but it can't be revealed her.

No worries, it's not the kind that will make me hide in a dark corner of the house, sobbing non-stop and slashing my wrists.

I've got far better things to do than that.

But it does feel sucky. Too many unanswered questions. A hard fight to hold on to feelings that don't benefit me. Yet I deem it necessary...

I've been popping Tic-tacs like they're going out of style. Much like Michael Cera's character in Juno.

2nd day of class was a right bore.

Save for French, Managing Business Systems (MBS) and Basic Entrepreneurship (Ent) were 3 hours of nothing.

I predict that MBS is going to be a drag. But somehow I've got to try and do the best I can.

As for Ent, hopefully I can recycle stuff from past projects.

The new class has been all, with nice enough people. The guys in the class are quite easygoing, that helps; if the guys in the class are all right. Talked to a couple of the girls too, they seem cool as well.

With a lot of the class in or stretching till the afternoon, I totally can't think about a day where I finish early and have lots of the day to go.

And goddamnit, I keep forgetting to cash in my EAGLES Award cheque. The faster I do that, the faster I can go get a new phone.

My head says I should get the Sony Ericsson W890i (familiarity, ease of use, better camera, more space) but the devil is tempting me to buy the Samsung i450 (unique design, touch wheel feature, BANG & OLUFSEN speakers!)

"So here I am, with my thoughts of you and this world I've left for me"

"Leave The Memories Alone" by Fuel

Lean On Me

2008-04-20T23:51:00.002+08:00

Pretty low-key day today.

Did take a grateful car ride down to a mall in town. Just to check out new phones and new pair of sneaks.

All part of 'back-to-school' necessities.

And I need a new phone. A new music phone. Otherwise, if you're not careful, you might find me passed out from boredom in the bus one day on the way back from school.

A new pair of sneaks is a need and not just a want this time round.

Just one class tomorrow, which ends at 2.

I'm not going to waste time trying to speculate how my new classmates are going to be like, I'm just going to wait it out and see how tomorrow unfolds.

I have to be back at 6 for Dramatec but in between, I thought of heading to town to look for fancy-schmansy school supplies. Like notebooks and other similar stuff.

Maybe this will delude me into thinking that going back to face the droning monotony of school is a good thing.

Kinda like tricking a stubborn child to get him to bathe by giving him lollies and sweets.

Maybe I'll see more sneaks and a couple of 'back-to-school' threads that I could plan to buy some other time.

Hopefully my mate is well enough to tag along and we do with a bit of Starbuckin'.

Doing Starbucks in town is nice. We get to chill and people-watch.

I think I may be due to write a good ol' letter soon. The pen and paper kind. Why? Just cos I want to. It's not really to be given to anyone...yet.

And no, it's not a suicide note.

Maybe I'll write it with on my new fancy writing pad. Righhht...

There are at least 3 people who I know that are feeling solitary/discouraged/down.

I've been neglecting one and I can't even reach the other two (but I do know they feel down)

Times like these, I really wish I could be there for them.

I want to be.

But circumstances prevent me from doing so. If there were ways around them, I would have taken that road already.

I don't really believe in horoscopes but I can' help but marvel at their relevance at times. Especially after realizing what I realized and typed above about the occasional fragility of those that I know.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

The Bottom Line

Trying out new social circles is fine -- just don't lose sight of old friendships.

In Detail

Skipping around from new social circle to new social circle is fun. It's also necessary -- after all, it's good to explore new activities and interesting new hot spots. But just make sure you don't lose sight of your tried and true friendships in the process. After all, you don't want to seem like you're being faithless, or too eager to replace old friendships with new ones. Being acquisitive about material goods is one thing; being acquisitive when it comes to friends is quite another.

No need to tell me, I already know.

Since I already know, I'm gonna try my best to be there when I'm needed.

Even for some others, who don't really need me around, I'm gonna stick around just in case they ever do.

A Simple Intent

2008-04-20T02:14:00.006+08:00

Not really happy with my new timetable.

I mean, it's all right, could be better but the problem is that the scheduling isn't very flexible so I can't move around my lectures to make it suit my preferences.

I'll just take it week by week. As ridiculous as it sounds, I've got to approach the next 6 months strategically and tactically.

Wait, that does sound like a load of rubbish.

What I'm trying to say is that I shouldn't let outside factors and unnecessary, impractical emotions get in the way of doing what I need to do in school this semester.This has been a bane of my first year in TP.

Hopefully I'm a year wiser and wise enough to remain unflinching when the going gets tough in school, like we all know it can.

I've been busy with lots and lots of drama lately but I'll give the latest on that some other time.

Dad drove by with the family in the car and had good eats at the KTM train station.

I came to a very simple but poignant realization (often ignored and overlooked for people's need to always assume the worst) while in the car.

This may be hard to believe, but the reason why I did some of the favours for you, wasn't because I wanted to deceive you and just get on your good side. I sincerely believe in this honest opinion that I did them because I just wanted to make you happy. The very thought that you could be happy because of something I did for you is a pleasurable idea.

I tire of the games that the birds and the bees have to play. Sometimes, it would be nice to see things just as they simply are. Not tainted by motives and uncomplicated by fear.

Just pure, unadulterated, no preservatives added, feelings.

I've always thought I was too much of a dreamer for my own good but it is in that trait tonight that I say that I'll turn in earlier tonight instead of staying up late like I usually do.

Maybe my dreams will provide escapes and possibilities that don't exist in my reality.

The Skeptic Genes Come Out To Play

2008-04-16T22:21:00.002+08:00

Where does self-belief stop and self-delusion begin?

At which point does your confidence start to ebb away and you start questioning for doing what you do.

"Is it worth doing all this? Is it worth fighting the improbable?"

Sometimes, it seems like all I'm doing is struggling in futility in an attempt to reach the top. But in reality, all I'm doing is falling further down the ladder and/or confirming that I fit snugly into my lowly position that I am at now.

It happens with every failure or 'near-but-not-quite-enough' success.

There are times when I feel like I'm meant for something bigger but the realist in me might try to dissuade me from reaching too far, fearing that the fall far down might be too much for me to take.

This 2nd side supplements its argument by saying that all my dreams and ambitions are just fantasies that are the product of an imaginative mind.

Maybe some are. But I know that deep down inside that some aren't. I can actually achieve some of these things.

Yes, the world is tough. It's a hard knock life for everybody.

But when was the last time you detached from reality and paid some attention to your dreams and ambitions? The same dreams and ambitions that you stored away somewhere because there was no space for these things in the real world.

Me, an idealist? Too much of an idealist? Probably.

But I'm a too much of a damn fool to listen to reality.

This reality tries time and again to tell me and show me that I'm inadequate in numerous ways.

Still, I press on, more than often due to idiocy than determination.

Still, there are times, like right now, where I actually realize it and can't help but doubt myself.

As I go doubting, "Can I really do it?"...

Does she doubt me the same way too? Are my various shortcomings entrenched deep in her mind to form a certain picture of me?

"No Drama", Says The Newly-Mellowed Man

2008-04-14T23:08:00.004+08:00

I've been putting this one off for ages.

Initially it was gonna be a wordy one, filled with details of what happened during what was undoubtedly the most hectic week of my life since the days that MIC was involved in the national competition 2 years ago. But I'm gonna leave out a fair bit.

Mic Sleepover

Mostly work, mostly during the 1st day.

Unspectacular yet pleasant grad night for the graduating batch.

Did not sleep from Monday through to the wee hours of Wednesday morning, not much help to my still-recovering sinuses and cough. Succumbed to a sleep-inducing cough mixture.

Reached home Wednesday night. Grabbed a few hours of sleep.

Got up just in time to see Man Utd score the solitary goal in the game against Roma. Went back to sleep, got up, packed and left for TP.

TP Arts Leaders Induction Camp

Fun and eye-opening. The throat and cough were running amok.

People from the other arts group are a decent bunch.

Highlights include laser gun wars at night. Dragon-boating, a first for me, finished off the programme of activities.

In between were 4 modules of theory, 2 of which I found very useful.

Especially the first one on stage presence. To receive a thumbs up on stage presence (apparently I have it) is nice.

In fact, I'll openly admit that it boosted my ego. But, by openly admitting it, I think it lessens the chance of me getting carried away with it, right?

Anyway, it's just a small thing. A small thing that I appreciate getting.

By the end of the 5th day of camp (in total) I was sick of drama and drama people, I needed a break.

Even though I only slept in TP this 1st time, it already has something over ITE Bishan.

It has hot water showers. I appreciate not having deal with spasm-like shivers in the morning.

I got home and savoured the fact that I was sleeping in my own bed.

Even then, I couldn't sleep in.

Silly me, I went to slack at a mate's meaning to leave by 2am. I ended up getting on the bus at 615am and slept at 7am. Woke up at 11. Went to a Dramatec meeting at 11 (drama again!) till 3. Even if I had places to go after, there was only one place on my mind.

My bed at home.

To round off the week, I went to Shaw Towers to mooch off Farah for free drinks at Starbucks with a mate. Got home to wait for the United game against Arsenal

Sweated out a nervy game but I managed to go to sleep happy.

A full week. In every way.I said in my last post that I shouldn't look at this last week as a week of under-exertion. Fate ensured that I could do no such thing.

It's not that I dislike drama or drama people. Quite the contrary. I just think that 6 days of drama-related activities is a severe case of overkill.

So that was the round up of that crazy week. Will be back with the usual, thoughts of this week.

Gone Before It Arrived

2008-04-07T00:51:00.005+08:00

Oh my God, this time round my week will be almost over before it begins.

With only a week left to performance day, MIC unsurprisingly hogs the schedule. Somewhere in between are two Dramatec rehearsals and a family afternoon out. And probably a day out with the mates to get some new threads and just chill.

The only solace will probably come from the two outings.

MIC Studio is fun but it is also serious work as well. We had to re-do the whole frickin' script and I just finished typing it all out but I was supposed to finish it much earlier. Thank God for the teacher's intervention though. I like this new script better. I'm afraid it's still too long though.

*Crosses fingers in hope*

Well, with a week like this, I certainly can't complain of being under-occupied.

But I guess, like a friend said, it's better to be tired doing things you like to do than be bored stupid and falling asleep, waiting for something to happen in your life.

This will be my umpteenth sleepover in school. Actually 6th. To be honest, it's gotten to the point where it's nothing special anymore. Not like it was before.

Yeah, the school's pretty freaky at night and all and I am thankful that nothing of the sort has happened so far. But I'm getting sorta numb to it all actually. But I do hope nothing untoward will happen. Hopefully the newbies won't be too freaked out or anything.The school used to be pitch dark after a certain time in the past. Nowadays, it's less fun/freaky cos the lights are still on past midnight.

Oh, bringing the big bags of clothes and all the other necessary stuff is such a hassle. I wish I had a car and I'd just store everything inside the boot and just drive over.

I have to have formal wear (for grad nite for the graduating batch) and I'm so lazy to bring it. But it will since it was this batch that all me to have my night a year ago.Reciprocation and all.

I haven't even packed. Chalk one up for procrastination here.

I just can't wait to unwind with the mates.

But I have to be up for this sleepover. As previously mentioned, this might be the last time ever I'd get to do anything like this.

I'll miss it all when it's too late.

Missing things and people and emotions.

So I guess I better treasure it now.

'I'm having the feeling of irony
Bout the way things are
Were they meant to be
All I do can do now
Is look from a distance
And smile as you walk away
In your eyes
I can see
The tears that you hide everyday'

That was Khairul's 'A Random Lyric In A Minute'

Goodbye and hope the sleepover/rehearsals /grad nite for the grad batch goes real swell.

Virtual Scribblings On A Virtual Pad

2008-04-02T01:40:00.002+08:00

For some reason, I can't seem to nap. I thought of getting one before getting up for the United game against Roma but as it is, here am I blogging.

Tuesday was a bit of a blessing compared to the day before, in that I didn't have to run all over the place(as mentioned in the previous post)

I'm still feeling sick but I was able to cope better with it today. Having said that, the morning was still hell for me. A wonderful cacophony of sounds, sounds rooted in the phlegm-filled coughs and a mucus trumpet, a beast that I once knew as my nose. Enchanting stuff.

I was under slight pressure as I was, in an silent way, expected to brush up and be ready with the final script by the end of the day.

Honestly, I'll put my hands up now and say that I probably wouldn't have been able to do it had it not been for the help of Sharon, an ex-MIC member, way before MIC was known as MIC. I finally had someone to bounce words and expressions off and had the same done to me. Between us, we completed the script to the best of our ability in a short time span, and did much than I would have had I flown solo.

I was the epitome of gratitude.

I didn't plan to but I fell prey to a whimsical moment and decided to watch the DVD copy of Romeo & Juliet that I purchased recently. Being more alert and receptive, I was pleased to find that I caught many more things naturally as compared to the previous time that I watched the movie. Having the subtitles helped.

If you think about it, it wasn't that clean or straightforward, other than the obvious themes of murder and bitter rivalry, the romance and its elements were flawed as well. Romeo did drugs and Juliet could be interpreted as an innocent girl who fell prey and barely put up a fight against youthful curiosity.

But of course, that all fair game. It doesn't matter when the overriding factor is love, does it?

Line reading for MIC tomorrow. Casting was revealed today. Some would not be happy but that is to be expected. What I(and of course the other old-time coots like me)will be looking at is how professional they are despite whatever. To those who say this isn't the professional world and there is no need to reciprocate, I say how they act reflects on the kind of person they are, no matter the context or environment.

Damn, the match starts in less than half an hour, so much for my frickin nap.

I thought this post would be laced with some introspective, inner thoughts but perhaps it is too late in the night for matters so heavy. Or maybe I've just gotten slightly lazy all of a sudden.

So, I guess, it's a pretty meaningless post.

~ A thousand times goodnight. A thousand times the worse, to want thy light ~

Aching, Sneezing, Coughing, Wheezing

2008-03-31T01:27:00.002+08:00

I was a bit of everywhere and everything really.

Went over to my mate's on Friday to do video conversion and stuff. But due to bad luck, I didn't manage to convert everything I wanted to.

Just before I left for this place in the day, I was notified of a Dramatec practice session. Rather late, I might add. So after the mate's, went down to school.

They were practicing Chicago and I know it's not really my thing but I guess it was good training and exposure. Days like these are the reason why I joined Dramatec. To learn, even though I'm nowhere near decent.

The next morning I was up bright and early again, ended up at Parkway Parade to deal with the script for MIC's Orientation '08 Show.

Then, in the late afternoon, was off to dad's for my sister's 21st birthday celebration.

I'll be joining her soon, I wonder how it feels like to turn 21. People make it out to be something big but I don't suppose she'll feel that different and I suspect neither will I.

Somehow ended up sleeping over at dad's, concurrently missing out on Man Utd thrashing Aston Villa 4-0 as there was no cable TV down where I was.

But I know dad liked it that all his kids were sleeping over and I guess it was right of me to cede this time and let him enjoy having all of us over. It doesn't happen often.Usually one of the kids are missing and that's usually me.

It didn't help that I had started to fall ill at my mate's place on Friday and I spent most of Sunday in a woozy state. Tried to sleep it off once I got back home this morning. Was glad to be back in my own bed, especially since I was feeling all sick.

Felt well enough to head down to the video store at Kovan. Apparently the changed location and downgraded in size.They moved from one block to another one nearby. But because of the downsizing, they carried lesser titles and I was less than happy about this.

On a whim, I decided to head back into Heartland Mall and ended up buying 3 DVDs for $49.90. I don't usually do that.But I did, had a bit of extra cash that was not part of my usual allowance so I guess spending that large wasn't so bad.

I bought Chicago, The Producers & of course Romeo & Juliet. 2 musicals and one with rather complex dialogue. So, it wasn't your run-of-the-mill summer blockbusters.

I've been spending the whole day in misery and a general lack of health. I dread tomorrow as I will be waking up early again for MIC at Bishan, leaving halfway around lunchtime for Dramatec at the Esplanade, picking up my free passes for Semi Pro (starring Will Ferrell) and possibly back to Bishan to pick up my laptop (if they were still not done with it when I left for Dramatec earlier)

I'm not moaning about it or anything but I just wish I didn't have to face all this while I was still sick.I wish I could just stay at home and do nothing.

That said, I am well aware that some of the MIC advisors and project managers put in more effort than me, particularly one of my fellow advisors, who's usually MIC and nothing else.

And I have dear friends who are busy with their own productions and camps and all that and a whole crapful of other things so at the end of the day, I guess we're all in the same boat.

I'm feeling so unaware and uncoordinated right now. I guess I'd best be off to rest and recuperate.

~ Doth that poor fellow be so poor in sense that he knows not how to treasure one like thee ? One who has given thine love so freely, love that is guarded so jealously and dearly that others with good heart may not even get a sniff of thine prized affection? ~

Did Shakespeare come up with that? No, alas, it is a cheap attempt at imitating the master, it is my attempt.

Good night and here's hoping I ( and all those dear friends unwell at this moment) will feel better tomorrow.

Teach Me How I Should Forget To Think

2008-03-27T23:37:00.006+08:00

It feels slightly surreal, even awkward at times to be coming back for MIC Studio, having not being back for a while.

It is presently the calm before the storm. We are bracing ourselves for when the chaotic gale winds hit, possibly crushing the stability we worked for all this while to smithereens.

As for the work in progress for the April Orientation '08 project, I am slightly unsure about where I stand. I don't think I'm contributing enough in the area that is supposedly my forte or strong point.

I know I'm more of an advisor now and not a current member but I still feel I don't lead as much as I should when it comes to scriptwriting. Or maybe I should just realize that I should be okay that I'm not doing the bulk of the work, realize that the current project managers should be doing that instead.

Things are going good so far but like I said, the shit could hit the fan later. We're all caught up in musical fever and I cannot, for fuck's sake, get the song "You Can't Stop The Beat" from Hairspray out of my frickin' head. It is bugging the hell out of me.

I have an urge to go watch Chicago: The Musical. The star-studded one, with Catherine Zeta-Jones, Renee Zellweger and Richard Gere.

But actually, that's not the movie I really wanna watch. It's actually this one.

I love the artistry in capturing this emotion

Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet

I know that Baz Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge is more probably more popular but I don't care. I think that this is much more tragic. Besides, how can one go wrong with The Bard, Shakespeare?

I really love the fact that Shakespeare's dialogue has been transposed onto modern-day Verona city but still has been kept intact.

I already watched a online copy but I still want to watch the DVD so I can really catch everything being said whilst trying to understand the context.I did so a couple of years ago and now I wanna do it again.

I am now more interested in the fact that Romeo loved a niece of Capulet, Rosaline before he ran into Juliet.

I think it does mirror my situation and feelings somewhat.I don't mean to come off sounding like a drama king but I just think it does portray my take on an issue accurately.

Oh, I've been dying to eat a good steak for a while now. Nothing premium-priced. Just something decent at a decent restaurant will do.

Just to make a point, I have to say that I really like that first picture in this post.

"One fairer than Rosaline? The all-seeing sun never saw her match since first the world begun."

~Romeo Montague; Act 1 Scene 2; William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet~

The Self Takes A Back Seat

2008-03-26T01:18:00.002+08:00

Been too lazy to update.

Highlights of the week include an easy night out with old friends.

The jokes, the banter. It was most definitely much missed. Even if is was just for a short while.

I want to do it again but I know that I'll probably have to wait a long while.

Also started back on the Mic Studio trail. Due to negative external circumstances outside of Mic, this might very well be the last student advisors' project.It depends on future events happening but they do look likely to happen. At this point we're just waiting for the moment to arrive.

There are a few internal matters that we need to watch out for, that we need to deal with from a managerial point of view. But those are internal issues and should remain as such and should not be discussed on a public platform like my blog.

The Jabbawockeez are killin' it every week so far on America's Best Dance Crew and I hope the win in next week's finale.

Hoping to get a compilation video at the end of it all.

Last week also saw a (proverbial) dagger struck in my heart. After the initial stab, a 'hand' took the hilt of the dagger and dragged it diagonally across my body. It didn't happen. But it sure felt that way.

As a result of that, maybe I saw the light.

I need to be less selfish. Sometimes, my happiness doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when the happiness of those very dear to you are at stake and their happiness is all that matters.

I know that God is a benevolent being that does not hate or harm. But He does make life a struggle and it should be no different for me. Plus, I personally feel that I don't deserve the treatment of the blessed since I'm hardly able to call myself pious. A fact that haunts me and quite frankly, a fact I'd like to change for my own benefit.

But today was the figurative equivalent of being kicked in the gonads (balls, testicles) while the abovementioned dagger was still in my body.

Again, it didn't happen. But it sure felt that way.

But, I must remember to be less selfish. It doesn't matter that I'm down. Sometimes, what matters is not my own heart but the fact that others are well-taken care of.

So, when you look now, all you'll see is a smile on my face.And I mean it with the truest and most honest strain of sincerity.

Why?

Again, it's because I think I need to be less selfish. I don't matter. You do.

Child @ Play

2008-03-17T17:22:00.006+08:00

I had been doing well on the money front, getting by without spending too much but then, the ideal conditions took a dive, all within a couple of days.

Now, I have to pratice, limiting myself to spending only on proper days out that are worth it instead of indulging in daily, whimsical purchases.

Actually, come to think of it, isn't that flawed in an topsy-turvy way? Am I not supposed to spend on the daily necessities, like food, and stay away from money-draining adventures? Then, how come I'm doing the opposite?

Staving off the necessary routine just so I can have good times out with friends.

I feel so incredibly shallow and materialistic right now.

Something was up with me yesterday. For some reason, I felt compelled to tune into the Disney Channel. Perhaps, I needed an escape into the simplistic, bright world we all once had as kids once upon a long magical time ago. That was before this daft and dark world corrupted us with MTV.

Anyways, I spent most of the afternoon, watching cartoon after cartoon. I did enjoy it, with a childlike ignorance to the fact that it was not fitting of my age.

In the night, it was a real throwback to the old days. It reminded me of times I used to be baby-sat at my cousin's workplace. I'd spend hours roaming round the Warner Bros. store watching the cartoons over and over again.

Bugs Bunny is priceless. I laugh like a kid again when I watch him.

Remember how he has this line where he goes "Ain't I A Stinker?" In the adult world, we would have a harsh insult for him, starting with the letter 'B'. It would be apt, seeing how he screws Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam over and over again.

Last night was such that I even watched the cheesiest of the cheesy, High School Musical: The Sing-Along Version. Of course I did not sing-along, it would be infantile to do so.

Just for the sake of being random, if I had to choose from out of all the Disney tween queens, I wouldn't typically choose Vanessa H, I would go for this one instead.

Miss Tisdale.

I don't know why I would choose her. I just would.

It's not a crush, I don't like her that way. I'm just making a choice, as if I'm answering a random question in one of those Facebook quizzes.

Silverscreen Indulgence

2008-03-16T03:45:00.006+08:00

Felt woozy earlier on in this serene Saturday afternoon. So I took a nap and now I'm wide awake in the humid wee hours of Sunday.

Friday was a bit of all right, to be honest. I had to wake up earlier at 9 but the eyes refused to shut once they opened at 830 so I had to deal with the now unfamiliar feeling of being up while the sun was still in the east.

Caught Step Up 2 with Wahida. Close friends know I've been moaning about this show since I saw the trailer late last year. So it was nice to finally catch it and put and end to all the hype.I was proud to say that I managed to resist all temptations to watch an online copy. Except for one moment of weakness where I watched the 1st 5 minutes of the movie before forcing myself to close the window.

It was great. The moves were slick, mad, crazy and just plain sick. The supporting cast made the show quirky and nice. The chemistry between the two leads wasn't as great as in the first movie.It's no fault of the actors. I think it was a plot flaw. But having said that, while Rob Hoffman is a decent guy, Channing Tatum just exudes incomparable charisma. The dance was better than in the first movie. But that was expected, given that that this was totally more street while the first one was tainted with a more classical aspect; which was almost completely ignored or even made fun of in this 2nd movie.

Since this movie was all street, I thought it would have been crazier had Channing Tatum been in the 2nd movie instead of the first one. About 10 minutes of screentime, 3 of which was dance, showed his influence. He totally killed his dance routine and I shudder in excitement trying to imagine how it would have been liked if he had, for example, teamed up with the 2 leads in a surprise plot twist, or even the lead role instead of Rob. The latter still did a decent job though.

That trio together would have been a sight to behold.

Oh and Briana Evigan is way, WAY cuter than Jenna Dewan. Yeah, she may have a slight tummy and not have washboard abs but that just means she looks more like a real girl, instead of a generic Hollywood girl. As for Jenna vs Briana, it's just a matter of personal taste, innit?

I reached home later and chatted with Shuoke about the movie on MSN. All it did was make me want to go watch the movie again. I wouldn't mind paying again.I especially want to see how Channing ended his dance routine again, it was just mad creative.

Right after the movie we were supposed to have a MIC meeting but that was canned so I went to meet with the mates, with the intention of just staying for a while.

But one thing let to another and believe it or not, I was on course to watch Step Up 2 twice in a day! This time, with the mates. And that would have happened, had we found out that the timings weren't suitable.

So I ended up watching Leap Years. It was slow-paced and I found it hard to believe and feel the emotion portrayed in the movie. I usually leave my skepticism at the door but this time it was with me as I watched the movie. I did enjoy it in parts but unfortunately I failed to see what the hype was all about. Maybe it was the accented English and or the story flow but I just didn't feel it.

Now, don't accuse me for being having an unfeeling ego. I was more than affected whilst watching A Walk To Remember and numerous times after.

I would have gladly paid to watch Step Up 2 again instead of Leap Years.

Dad was having dinner with the family and I met them to get a ride home.It was a long, tiring day and I was glad to get home.

I'm dead serious when I say I want to watch Step Up 2 again.

Oh, the Jabbawockeez had a minor role in the movie. They're the group that's tearing up the MTV show, 'America's Best Dance Crew'. Videos are hard to come by. Viacom, who owns MTV, gets them removed from Youtube within a week of being posted. So you have to be fast to see them.

Don't know what to do tomorrow. Been saving a bit of cash, so hopefully I don't spend too much tomorrow and keep the frugality going. Spent a bit more than I would have liked so I'm looking to save a bit. But if the plans are decent, I will probably be up for whatever that comes.

P/S It's 5am and I am nowhere near feeling sleepy. I must be mad, listening and even lip-syncing to Donna Summer, Richard Marx, Meatloaf and other soppy-centered artistes.Oh good, I've just starting sneezing. I hope it goes on long enough for me to have an excuse to take a flu pill and fall asleep faster.

Surprised & Unorganized

2008-03-13T02:27:00.006+08:00

It struck again.

The anonymous and seemingly innocuous SMS. Received when the phone was switched back on after it was 'off' charging.

My initial reaction upon seeing a very unfamiliar number was a quizzical one along the lines of "Who the feck is this?"

That first clueless wonderment was quickly followed by an audible gasp as I realized the cold truth in the message. There it was, looking ever so casual like any other SMS sent by a mate, were my exam results.

Having been surprised the previous semester, I should have been prepared this time round but I wasn't. They had sent the results a day earlier than I had expected.

Flat Bs all round rounded off by a miserly D+. I had expected the latter but it was disappointing to not see any As or B-plusses present.The GPA dropped.I was bitching about it to myself the whole day but after talking to a friend, I decided that I should practice what I preach. Suck it up and deal with it, look on the damn bright side.

Right after, I cleaned up my room and it is now devoid of school-related clutter and I also rather beamingly declare it the neatest it can possibly get under my watch. Guess I better enjoy it while it lasts.

The chances of conditions remaining the same during the next semester are about as great as me finding a girlfriend within the next 5 months. Gee, now I don't know which one to be more depressed about.

No actually, just kidding. Well, at least I think so. Hmmm...

Watch the trailer of 'The Forbidden Kingdom' yet? Jackie Chan & Jet Li in the same movie? I'm sure I can't be faulted for expecting a great gongfu movie when I go to see it.

I've had this more than decent story plot running round in my head for days and I was rather frustrated that when I went to type it out, I found that I'm trying to shove in too many plot points, making it a convoluted mess.

So tomorrow, I hope to meet up with an equally creative mate, to see if he might be able to help me sort this all out.

I know some people may wonder why I talk so much about writing a story like it's a big deal.

To be honest, it's a bit of an ego trip. Writing allows me to tell stories that would sound weird coming from me straight. Some of it is inspired by real-life feelings and musings I've had and some are made up. Which is which? That's for others to figure out.

One thing for sure, whatever I come up with, is related somehow to what I see, hear and do or have done upon me.

Some people have songs, others poems, perhaps blogs and diaries. Writing a story is just another way of doing all that.Well, I've got to write the damn story first.

Speaking of stories, way proud of someone who got appointed to lead recently. I not only believe she's going to do it well, she's going to do so well she's going be kicking ass and taking names. Figuratively, of course.

Now, why can't I do anything like that?

Oh, I am not jealous. Far from it. In fact, I'm feeling quite chuffed for someone who throughly deserves it. She hasn't been getting the breaks despite putting in loads of effort. This added responsibility also gives her a chance to be recognized for those efforts. Again, I'm very proud of her, even though I don't really have a right to be.

As for myself, I'm just doing a little introspection, asking myself why is it that I am not reaching those heights that I know I want to reach?

Why is it that I now find myself stranded in a sea of own mediocrity and stink of the average?

That's fine for others maybe, and that's their prerogative. But I've been average all my life and I think a change for the better is long overdue.

Maybe I see writing these stories as my best shot at breaking from the pack and standing out.

I'm not doing it for anybody's approval or to gain infamy, though it would be nice to bring a smile to those who give a damn about me, with news of my success; in whatever form that may be.I'm doing it so that I can tell myself that I did do it. Even if I didn't make the cut, I could live with myself knowing I gave my best shot.

I've got 2 story-plots with me now. I know that in them, I can mould a great story out of each of them.

With too much time spent daydreaming and an overactive imagination, I've got to have at least one decent story in there.

And I'll end off with these NEW videos of 2 groups from America's Best Dance Crew. There are other groups but these 2 are my favourite and also people's favourites to make it to the final two. Go check out the other groups if you want, on Youtube.

It's a tribute week to Michael Jackson's 25th Anniversary of the release of the legendary album Thriller.

Jabbawockeez #5

Kaba Modern #5

Can't Be Still, As I Tap My Feet To The Funkadelic Beat

2008-03-11T02:00:00.004+08:00

The seas have calmed somewhat after tumultuous times.

Been busy with lots of things, distracting myself with various activities.

Continued where I left off with a trip down to the Esplanade on Sunday. Went to catch The Great Spy Experiment, part of the programme for the Mosaic Music Festival.

Got there about slightly more than half and hour before the start of the performance, managed to get good standing spots

It was an acoustic performance, a first for the band and they pulled it off commendably, even though it was slightly weird to hear 'Dance With Me' mellowed out; it's usually a song played with an infectious energy. But 'The Great Decay' and 'Siti In The City' were played just right.

It was then off for supper somewhere near my home before a chilled out late night slack session with a mate, filled with insightful and meaningful conversations.

Today, along with a couple of mates, applied at Borders for a part-time position. Not really expecting a callback from their HR Department though.Even though I was told that they had vacancies.

After lunch, we went to Cathay Orchard and we spent a good part of 20mins just standing in front of the box office, trying to agree on what movie to watch. Finally, settled on August Rush (something I favoured, a gamble for the rest) but I knew they would like it and they did.

Oh, as a side note, Step Up 2 was initially listed as sold out but as we were about to purchase the tickets, we saw that it had been downgraded to 'selling fast'. However, my mates decided against inquiring as they probably wouldn't have enough seats to seat us all together.All the better for me since I'd already made a promise to watch this movie with another friend a long time ago.

As for August Rush, it's a nice movie. It has a fairytale element in it, in the sense that 'the world is full of magical coincidences' but if you'll enjoy the movie very, very much if you leave your sense of pessimism at the door.It is even touching and dare I say, 'magical' in parts. It helps you reaffirm your belief that there are good things worth believing in this world.

An underrated gem (especially if you're feeling down) 8/10

Before the movie started, we had a stab at playing Fifa '08 on the XBOX 360, a first for us. Perhaps we were only half-playing as most of the time, we were trying desperately to figure out and get used to the controls while playing.

For the trip home, we managed to get by on sheer dumb luck and catching the right buses at the right time, at a time where doing so any later would mean, a expensive taxicab ride home or a long trudge to the right bus stop and probably an even longer wait for the Night Rider bus service.

So that was the end of a long and interesting day, which had followed a day of similar qualities. Hopefully more to come.

It's been nice. My only grouse is that I can't do it with more of my friends. I have a couple of them with whom I haven't had a good, fun day in a long while. It's been long overdue.I hope I can get them this vacation period and have a good time out, laugh over silly jokes and maybe even moan about serious bothersome issues. A good friend is one that you can act stupid with and also be a listening ear for you when you need it.

And there are a few out there that I miss.

As for those that I've already met, most definitely no harm in meeting them again.

On a last and personal note,

'I know I'm meant for bigger things and I believe that there is so much more to aim for.Much more than others may realize, others who only live in the now and fail to see the promise of the future. I know that I can be much more than what I am now.

I can see it in the words of the many songs that I hear. They all tell me that there is a part of the world out there. Having you in that part would make it rather nice a complete. We're all small parts and there is that one small part that fits with mine, and, I hope it's yours.'

A thought that I've mulled over and tried to put in words, I don't expect many to understand, save a select few, for it is quite vague and generally sentimental rubbish.

Lights Are Off Today

2008-03-05T17:02:00.004+08:00

Nothing spectacular to post about.

Rekindled conversations with old connections in the dead of the night in the middle of town, with hope of more to come in the following days.

Was almost taken in by the devils of temptation to purchase Justin Timberlake's Live In Concert DVD. Proud that I did not falter and give in to that sinful purchase.

It would have damaged my finances, not a good thing, with it being only a week into the holidays.Much more cravings to resist before month's end.

After the slight activity of yesterday, I'm content to not do much today, expect maybe to work on my script.

Not a peachy thing. In fact, I hate how it's turning out. Far too plain and uninteresting. For some reason, I'm pressing on with the story; maybe as it is still in its infancy and I just want a draft out on paper at least. Having something real to hold in my hands might just give me reassurance that I am getting somewhere with this endeavor.

Just how I'm going to continue today I don't know. I'm already struggling to complete this blog post and that doesn't bode well for me that I'm planning to continue the long-ass story I'm far from completing.

This sullen weather of grey clouds and cold winds is like a damn sleeping pill.

And it doesn't help that my body clock still thinks that the school term is still going on and insists on waking me up around 8-plus a.m.That would be alright, if it wasn't for the fact that the earliest I go to bed these days is at the ungodly hour of 4am.

If my body clock doesn't get me, drone of a heavy vehicle or the shrill screams of the pneumatic drill from the ongoing construction work (estate upgrading!) will be a sure back up to see that I get up bright and early, just like normal people.

Un-fecking-believable...

My nose has been leaking worse than a wet piece of Swiss cheese today.

Leaky nose+cold weather+lack of sleep...

I just want to curl up into bed again, por favor?

On an unrelated note, I'm not sure where I stand with you, but at least I feel better after receiving some advice yesterday.

I'll end with a few 'sick' videos from America's Best Dance Crew'. I can't force you to watch but you'll definitely enjoy if you do.

Kaba Modern #4

Jabbawockeez #3 (This ending is crazy shyte!!)

Status Quo #3 & Iconic #3 (Status Quo kicks Iconic's ass, but Iconic was at least decent)

Of My Own Making

2008-03-02T02:08:00.003+08:00

In the movie 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', you could have a procedure to have a part of your memory erased. Things you want to forget because they caused you grief, unhappiness and regret.

I wish I could undergo that procedure now.

There's a saying that proclaims that ignorance is bliss. If I can't remember the regret, how can I feel regretful?

There are certain people that you wish you'd never met.

I should have been careful what I wished for? I might have ended up biting up more than I can chew.

Damn, I'm churning out one cliched quote after another.

The goddamn screwed up thing is, the fault lies with no one else but me. The cause of my plight is completely blameless.

"Such a fuckup", says the guy staring back at me in the mirror.

Kaba Modern

2008-02-29T05:12:00.005+08:00

It's late (or early, depending on how you look at it) but I just have to post this up before I forget.

It's Youtube clips of a nice show that hasn't hit local shores yet.

'America's Best Dance Crew'. More street and more hip-hop oriented than 'So You Think You Can Dance?' Randy Jackson of American idol fame fronts the producing credits as the most famous out of a team of producers.

I'm not gonna compare this show to our local version as that would open up another debate and I personally would like to appreciate local creativity,no matter the quality. At least they're trying, yo!

The 'Crew' in the title makes the show stand-out more. It may not be as general as 'So You Think You Can Dance?' and in that sense is restricted. But that's also what gives it uniqueness.

These are of a group called Kaba Modern.

#1

#2

#3

I like the 3rd one the best. But I have to say the opening of the first one is pretty sick too.

Gosh, this reminds me that I've been staving of temptations to watch Step Up 2 online countless times, just so I can have the full experience in the cinema. Wahida says I'm her date for that so thank goodness that I have someone to go with. Otherwise, I probably would have succumbed to watching it online a while ago.

Away With All The Frenzy

2008-02-29T01:00:00.003+08:00

Back here after quite a while.

By Jove! The exams are over! Time for spontaneous merry-making and reckless living.

Well no, maybe not. I did wish I could be that exciting though.

I'm somehow reminded of the time my mate actually burned his O Level books when that particularly beastly exam was done.

Yeah, he didn't just throw them away. He burned them. Like some sort of ritualistic offering to the gods of education, signifying his release from the cruel chains of secondary school life.

Nothing of that sort. Might dump the books after the 14th of March though.At least the notes.

Why after the 14th? That's when the results will be released and that's when I know if I need to go for a supplementary paper for Biz Stats. One would have to take the supp paper if they failed the main exam. Pass that an you get an automatic D grade, with a GPA value of only 1.0.

Yep, that's how badly I thought I fared for the Stats paper.

The rest were all right. Maybe As. At least Bs.

My nights became topsy-turvy due to numerous nights of overnight studying. BK at the airport and McD's at Rivervale Plaza became regular haunts of mine and of course, my mates as well.

I don't know why but I felt that this was the most cramming I've done for the exams. Yeah, I studied the same way that I did during my ITE days and my first poly semester but things went on to a completely different level this time. With concept-heavy (graphs)Microecons and content-heavy (theories) Principles of Management papers on the same day. Coupled with typical student dilly-dallying and procrastination, they very much occupied me during the study break.

Oh, and I'm not so full of myself. When I'm talking about the above situation, I fully realize that fellow students in my cohort have to face the same thing.

In fact, I know I'm better off since I need not face the Marketing like them, having already done so in the past.

A pleasant thing happened during the study break.It kept me going when my spirits were flagging but I have to remind myself that it's probably the most I can hope for and nothing more. If I do, I'll only end up disappointed like I was in the past.
But I'm still very thankful for those kind words that were said with complete sincerity.

Anybody catch the video of Lil Mama's new song 'Shawty Get Loose' featuring Chris Brown & T-Pain?

People say it was a rip-off of Michael and Janet Jackson's collabo, 'Scream' but I think I'll be kinder cos knowing Lil' Mama and Chris Brown, it was probably a tribute to that video rather than them trying to copy it. In this case, imitation is the best form of flattery.

In case you haven't seen it, watch it here

I'm really off today. Maybe the exams took more out of me mentally than I realized. Or maybe I'm just being lazy and blaming the exam stress for everything.

I thought when I reached home today,I would be soon out and about, enjoying a stress-free day but instead I fell asleep. Now, as I'm typing this, I'm sleepy again, despite already napping after I got home just now.

One of my recent favourite songs isn't a new one but I heard it a couple of weeks back and I'm still lovin' it. Most people may say it's just a boring ballad but it's just so meaningful to me.

Remember the pleasant incident that I said happened during the study break? That incident only served to increase the meaning and value of this song to me.

I may not be the best-looking or have the best brains but that doesn't stop me from aspiring to be like what this song is singing about to a certain someone, significant to me.

There isn't an official video cos there wasn't one made, this is just an audio track some other person posted for their special someone on Youtube. If you have the time, do listen and see why it's meaningful to me.

SONG HERE

The rush of projects, the madness of mugging, let's forget all that for now, shall we?

At least for the next month and a half.

One Day, Perhaps I'll See, Out Of The Corner Out My Eye.

2008-02-13T00:24:00.000+08:00

Started off the day sick, enough to warrant a trip down to the doctor.

Spent the day mostly doing Biz Stats work and just surfing, finally caught up with Prison Break Ep12.

Also went over to Perez Hilton's domain to catch up on the latest celebrity news. For those who don't know, Perez Hilton is a celebrity blogger. He is one because he blogs about celebrities. So, that's his claim to fame.

Kind of funny. He's famous now cos he blogs about other famous people.

Also caught clips of 'Room 401' on YouTube.

Ashton Kutcher's really raking in the money. And he doesn't have to do more than the occasional movie every now and then.

First Punk'd and now Room 401?

I'm not sure how long this new series is going to last but I'm sure he's been smart enough to have some sort of pre-agreed amount that is a guaranteed minimum. He's got the success of Punk'd to use as a bargaining tool to get him a fair bit of money.

Room 401's been running for quite a number of episodes in the US. Naturally, Singapore is slightly slower to get it, even if it is MTV Asia.

Again for those who don't know, Room 401 is something like Punk'd except they scare (not prank!) normal people instead of celebrities, using special effects and little tricks.It's all fake but those getting pranked don't know it.

Go check out the clips of Room 401 on YouTube. The reactions of those pranked alone are reasons enough to go see.

I think I finally realized something about someone I know.

This person symbolizes the possibilities that are there for me in the near future. The kind that would see me make good on my resolution.But this person also shows the pitfalls in chasing that kind of life. I might lose sight of the simpler things that I take for granted now.

I'm not saying that knowing this person would automatically make me do that but I might if I don't have a good head on my shoulders and keep myself in check with reality.

It would all be my fault if it happens because it's my life and no one else's so it's my responsibility to see that it's going the right way.

Basically, what I'm talking about is about being so focused on the chase for something that I might change for the worse or lose out in the end. And there's this one person who symbolizes all that. I gotta make sure that doesn't happen.

Again, not that this person is bad for me, this person is bad only if I, myself, don't have my brain screwed on straight.

It entices but it should come with a disclaimer.Like those you see on those cigarette packets.

It all started with that red dress, dammit.

Maybe readers won't get all the bollocks I just typed. It's the best I can do without naming names. Sorry.

Wondering & Pondering & All Related Synonyms

2008-02-10T23:16:00.001+08:00

United just lost 2-1 at home to our city rivals. On a day of tribute to the fallen Busby Babes too and probably letting our rivals move ahead of us.Could it be any worse? I don't even want to talk about it.

Despite the extra long weekend break, nothing much to report.

Oh, I did catch up on Prison Break Season 3, Episodes 9 and 10. In the midst of acquiring 11.

Went to the barber but it was teeming with patrons waiting for their turn so I guess I'll go tomorrow.

I've been thinking about a couple of things, or maybe just one big thing. Oh, I don't know. I'm uncertain enough on this issue.

If I could take a stab at what I think the root of the problem is, perhaps it's that...

I do want to move on and no longer dwell on the issue, but circumstances aren't letting me move on. There are no options to move on to. So I'm just stuck here till something new comes along.

Pardon me for being vague but I feel that it's best I express it this way.

And listening to Robin Thicke songs certainly aren't helping me.

That's all I have to say about that.

Before I end this short post, I'll leave you with this one.

From the movie '100 Girls', which I watched a long, long time ago. This part of the movie just popped into my mind again recently.

What do you do when you have one magical night with one girl in a jammed elevator but you never find out her name? What do you do when she's one out of a hundred possible other girls in that place? You try all ways and means to find her but to no avail.

This is your last resort, a gut-wrenching confession of your undying love, all for the girl of your dreams.

The girl is question is of course the delectable Emmanuelle Chriqui, of Entourage, Snow Day and On The Line fame.

In Today's News

2008-02-08T16:19:00.001+08:00

The masses in the (fictitious) city of Khairul have spoken.

A bill was presented to Congress today, urging them to pass a Bill that would see the citizens put in a concerted effort to see them start studying for the upcoming exams.

With only roughly 2 weeks left before the start of the exams, the need to start revisions is an absolute imperative.

Measures put forth in the proposed Bill include:

staying back at school or any suitable location to study
meeting tutors after school to clarify unclear concepts which will be tested
resisting, as much as possible, calls from mates to hang out and generally keeping recreation to a minimum till after the exams
staying put at home and keep spending minimal to avoid participation in activities that would contribute to deviation from studying

Legislators are aware that they will be facing an uphill battle to keep the city not only willing, but motivated to hit the books.

This can be seen in latest developments where Khairul has apparently agreed to go and hang out, at the beckoning of one of his mates; studying seems to be postponed till later on in the night.

When asked, the Minister for Education had this to say,

"I hope he knows what he's doing. He's still got a bit of time but any major dilly-dallying will most definitely lead to panic-studying, an unenviable time for everyone in this city. We certainly hope it won't come to that"

The very fact this Bill is up for approval shows that the city is aware of the problem and taking measures to address it.

However, even after the Bill is passed there is still much more work that needs to be done.

What helps though, is the fact that Khairul's sister is away at Jakarta, on holiday till Sunday and his mom is working a spate of afternoon shifts, leaving Khairul to his own devices for much of the afternoon.

There is much skepticism in the air in this city as to whether this bill will be effective. What is known is that the exams are coming up and there will have to be revisions sooner rather than later. This reporter hopes that when it does start, it won't be too late.

Claire Bennet; reporting for the Khairul Gazette

The Wait To Write, Read & Listen

2008-02-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

Is it a tad premature to be talking about all the things I'm going to try to do after the exams?

Especially since the exams are not only NOT over, they are coming closer and closer with each passing day.

But maybe I can use all these as possible manifestations of reward and pleat sure that would greet me at the end of an exhausting, brain-draining period.

I most definitely wanna finish my half-script and make it a full one.

This morning on the way to school, I had the sudden urge to rewrite the verses to the song that I consider the best attempt I ever made trying to write one, "That I Love You". It was written ages ago.

It's got a great chorus but the verses don't do it justice. I must try again.

And most of all, I want to settle down with a good book, on a solitary Sunday night at home after a hectic week of fun activities and the mood set with Robin Thicke's voice, crooning out of the sound system.

Frankly, I could use that book and Robin Thicke's melodies about now but I wouldn't be able to do so and still feel comfortable at this time. Not with all the revisions and the looming examinations to deal with.

I can't afford to spend too much time in a bookstore. I'd be fixated on the various titles and be held captive by the various storylines that bring out my inner bookworm. However, there would still be a cloud of unhappiness hanging over me, fully aware that I'd leave the place empty-handed.

A new book is an occasional luxury that is fully appreciated when it comes round and not a whim that can be satisfied as often as I would like it to be, simply cos I cannot afford to do so.

Currently, I curb my cravings with the occasional book borrowed from the school library which I'm pleased to say, have a decent collection of titles from my favourite author, Robert Ludlum. Still, there are other books by other authors that I want to read. Getting a new book is like getting new clothes for me. The same feeling of satisfaction applies.

And one of those books is Audrey Niffenegger. It's a love story, not the kind I read but the storyline is unique and interesting. I think it's gonna come out as a movie this year.

It's about this guy and girl who loves each other but the problem is the guy has a kind of defect which makes him travel to different times, as in different years. Despite this, the girl keeps faith that they will end up together. Despite the element of science fiction there (the time traveling), it is very much a love story.
.
Of course, there is also the usual slew of Robert Ludlum and conspiracy theory fiction that I usually get.

But of course, if I do, it will have to be only after the exams.

Sigh...I'll wait, I guess. Unless any kind soul has a copy of 'The Time Traveler's Wife' and would be willing to loan it to me?

Probably not. Wishful thinking on my part.

Claustrophobic Tendencies

2008-02-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

I feel so stifled at home today. I don't know why.

I feel like being outside.

But I also feel like revising or at least doing my tutorials.

So maybe I should do my tutorials outside? But where?

I doubt I'll go anywhere and hang out but if any of my friends have the right plans, I just migh abandon the books for a bit.

Fell asleep rather early yesterday. Was down for the count before midnight. Last thing I remember seeing was the lineups for the Man Utd vs Tottenham game on the telly.

So instead of watching the telly, it ended up watching me sleep.

The Sociology test turned out to be quite all right. I struggled a bit for the 1st 20 minutes but managed to do okay enough to pass up the paper 10 minutes before time.

A decent effort considering I did something I hadn't done for a while. Last minute mugging. I didn't even cover all topics. Tried to make up for it by reading through them. But it turned out all right in the end.

I won't get an A but I have a shot at scoring a B.

Overall grade? Erm, not counting the chickens before they hatch but...I suppose I expect at least a B.

The drain of last minute studying didn't leave me with much in the tank after the test. But I had a last minute MIC meeting to deal with.

We changed the storyline. I think I instigated it. It may be a run of the mill story formula but at least I think it's more interesting at least. The project managers backed me on this so hopefully the story will stay. I do worry that the storyline would be too long though, considering that there is a musical element to the story.

I guess I'll know on Monday. Oh wait, I won't cos I won't be coming. Tuesday then. Only gonna be back from 11 to 1 to brush up on my Bus Stats. I don't actually have to but for my own sake, I NEED to!

Since the Socio test is over, I am actually free on Wednesday cos there aren't anymore Socio lectures but I have to come back for a Prin Mgt make-up lesson, originally scheduled for Thursday.

It's a bother but not too much, cos it'll only take up 2 hours of my time for both days.

It ended at 4-ish. I had to rush home soon after cos my sister forgot her keys (yet again? She's been doing that a lot recently).

I contemplated heading out again soon after but considering how I would have practically been sleepwalking if I did, I put the kibosh on that idea. I decided to stay put and wait for the Man Utd game to start (a pointless wait in the end!).

The fact that projects are done or just about done is a big monkey off everyone's back. Most of us have already crossed the finish line for this race and now it's on to another...the end of semester
exams.

Now would be a good time to start mugging and I hope to start real soon so as to be able to pace myself through the revision.

Not much on for this coming week. Online lectures, coming back to school for a bit, a few hours of studying and a MIC meeting or two.

Okay, maybe I do have some things to do. Not TOO much but there should be more on my plate as the week goes by.

Off to take my very late shower and start my day.

Words, A Certain Look, All Have A Certain 'Je Ne Sais Quoi'

2008-02-01T21:32:00.000+08:00

Just finished dinner.

Just thought I'd post one before I continue mugging for Sociology again.

Is it possible for words to be some sort of aphrodisiac? I think they can be.

I don't mean words that are used specifically to entice or seduce but rather, the language used by a person.

You are taken by their thoughts and love the way they express those thoughts.

It doesn't mean that you have to fancy the person or anything, you could just like the way they think.

An intellectual connection.

My mate tells me he doesn't think it's weird and I think he's right. A nice change to be caught by someone's thoughts and not their looks first.

By the way, this is an extension of the topic that I ended with on the previous post. This is just me having more thoughts on it.

For some reason, my blog song is loading slower than usual, at least in my browser.

But I'd thought I tell those who are interested to download this mixtape here

It's got some real kick ass tracks, sampling from some nice songs. Especially this song on my
blog.25 tracks in total. 1 minute and a half on average per track.

I think those who like good RnB and hip hop will really like it. Check it out, no harm right?

Day Diz is the rapper's name. He's from Austria and he came down to Singapore in 2007 for a tour.

Damn, I wish I had known about him then. I would definitely have gone down to seen him.

Oh, it turns out that girls in braces aren't too bad. Not that I thought they they were bad, I just never noticed them.There's a cute aura about them, especially if they have the right look.

Haha. I know, way random.

Maybe it's a mistake to use the plural form, maybe it's just this one particular person.

It's just some one I know, though not too well. Obviously she's a girl. I wouldn't be saying a dude with braces had a cute aura about them now would I?

This one is an unrelated to the one with the wonderful words I talked about above.

Just one of my numerous random little thoughts that entertain me while I'm daydreaming during (certain) lectures.

Oh, and I know people know he is, but I've never told anyone what I thought of Robin Thicke as an artiste.

I think he's kick ass. His songs are made to woo girls. Not that I have any to woo at the moment but if I did and I had feelings I didn't know how to express, I might use a Robin Thicke song to help me.

The Lure Of Words And Their Meanings

2008-01-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

I almost dreaded coming online when I got home today.

I didn't feel like facing the bothersome project pieces that I needed to do.

It's just one more day. By 6pm tomorrow, it'll all be over.

Current blog song is from a mixtape. It samples Eminem's 'When I'm Gone'. Word for word, especially the 2nd set of verses, it describes how I feel or once felt. The whole song does. Listen, if you're bothered to, and you will know why I feel the way I feel about this song.

It doesn't matter cos on it's own right, I usually identify with this kind of song anyway.

And I still have to find a way to magically cram all those Sociological theories into my noggin for Saturday morning's final Socio assessment.

I went for today's Socio revision lecture. They're easy to grasp but Father Time isn't a friend of mine at the moment.

I think I'm really gonna jump to social sciences for my degree studies. Really, really. Might not stick around biz after TP.

Sociology? I've thought about it. Maybe still political science.

Till then, I have to focus on Sociology the elective first.

Granted of course, I do well enough. But that's a long story and a story in progress at that. One which I do not wish to visit again for the time being.

To end,

I wish I had another chance to run into you again. If God allowed, we could make an intellectual connection and I simply love those. Maybe we could talk for hours on end.

Maybe, who knows.

; blithe:

1.	joyous, merry, or gay in disposition; glad; cheerful: Everyone loved her for her blithe spirit.

2.	without thought or regard; carefree; heedless: a blithe indifference to anyone's feelings.

Spy Experiment

2008-01-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be revising for my Sociology main test on Saturday but still I'm swamped, dealing with project(s). There's still Socio but that's all right. I'm mainly talking about Prin Mgt's 2nd mode of presentation. I have to come up with the short script which is very much a hassle.

The vacation is coming up and I'm looking to get a job at Times, Kinokuniya or Borders.

I bought The Great Spy Experiment's album on Monday. Good album and I mean it; with it's Brit-rocked,psychedelic, power-trip tracks.

But I say that they're just 'The Good Spy Experiment'. They're better 'live'. In fact, they're 'Great'.

Standout tracks include 'Dance With Me', 'The Great Decay and the titular track, 'Flower Show Riots'.

4 out of 5 stars. An excellent effort by a local band, increasing in fame and mainstream popularity.

They still haven't forgotten the underground though, with their incessant gigging at different events.

Shit, my eyelids are drooping. And the script for the roleplay is still bare.

There's something about you I adore
Yeah you are the one that I keep wanting more and more
Hopelessly, endlessly, honestly
Hopelessly, endlessly, possibly
So come on please tell me your name again
The hours that I spend in your eyes
This feeling in my pants I can't disguise
Oh my
I won't forget again
You are my only friend

'Miss Kensington' - The Great Spy Experiment

How poignant. Slightly lewd for my taste though. Haha.(4th last line)

I guess I'll call you Miss Kensington for now....that'll do.

I better go off now.

I know, not much in today's post. Too little time. I just wanted to post the above lyrics. Maybe when the weekend rolls around.

Forced Frenzy Comes With An Accompanying Soundtrack

2008-01-26T01:31:00.001+08:00

This long day is over.

The day started at 5. I wouldn't have stopped to sleep had it not been for the fact that I would be having a test at 7pm. I knew I needed to so I managed to catch some shuteye for 3 hours.

I found out that there were errors in the report. I decided against calling my group members to rectify it as it would mean more delays. So I went ahead and did it myself, with the approval of the group members of course. Handed it up and started studying for the abovementioned test only 2 hours before its scheduled time.

Didn't do too badly. Probably will pass but not really expecting high marks.

Went to meet a mate. She wanted my opinion on ITE and how different it would be if she were to do private studies. The bus service was being a bitch and I had to take a longer route to meet them cos the quicker bus service was too crowded.

But having that Venti Java Chip from Starbucks really helped me chill. I really needed that as a pick-me-up.

So now, only presentations are left, Sociology and Prin Mgmt, both on Thursday. The last thing would be the Socio common test 2 days later. And then there would be nothing else in my way to start mugging for the exams.

Oh, for a reason that only God knows, these songs were running through my head DURING the accounts test.

Of all artistes and of all the songs...WHY? ESPECIALLY this first one...

And also this one...

Especially the line, "You can be my brown-eyed beauty", around 00:59...

It doesn't make sense, I know not of any brown-eyed beauties that have grabbed my attention in recent times.

And why such outdated songs that was hot, but waaaay back when I was still in secondary school, years ago?

But throughout the duration of the test, I thought it was totally weird these 2 songs were interchangeably running through my head.

I asked my classmate whether music runs through her head during tests and exams. She said 'no'. But that's the case for my mate and I. I remember Moby playing in my mind during one of the papers in last semester's main exams.

Do I need music in my life that badly? Maybe. I know for a fact that I'm very attached to my Sony Ericsson Walkman phone. It's part of my lifestyle, music + communication on the go.

It's been crazy these past few days, also tried my luck in submitting an (incomplet) 12-scene script to the TP Drama Prez. Could be worked on in the future. Even if it isn't, I'mma work on it myself cos I already have the storyline, I just need good dialogue.

That and the hectic rush to complete the projects as well as we can have taken quite a mental toll on me. The test at the tiring time of 7pm on a Friday was the one that took the cake, the symbolic culmination of all the chaos.

So tonight and for a good part of tomorrow, I plan not to do anything that will stress me out.

Halo

2008-01-25T02:10:00.000+08:00

I wasn't gonna post till later tonight after I got back all tired on a Friday night, till I saw this...

Lucky guy. But they look nice together, even though he's way older(31) and she's only 19 this year. And the song fits the too-short video very well.

Apparently their moniker is 'Halo'. From Hayden (Panettiere) & Milo (Ventimiglia). She's 18 and he's 31. Wow. But I've seen worse age gaps between other couples.

Just for the record, he plays her uncle in the TV show.

Nice to see something nice from one of my favourite shows.

Right I'm going back to editing my Principles of Management report due later on.

In Memoriam, I Hold Those Dear Closer, I Celebrate With A Life Unwasted

2008-01-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

A sobering day.

The big news for everyone who cared today was Heath Ledger, dead at 28. While certainly not of James Dean-esque proportions, certainly close to River Phoenix's. Both of whom also died young. The iconic Dean passed having only released 3 major movies. Yet his name still remains synonymous with the (in)glorious nature that befall those who die young and famous.

I remember watching A Knight's Tale almost 10 times because AXN and HBO had it in rotation for loads of times.

When I heard it, it was a bit shocking cos I was just bored the night before and decided to look through movie trailers and one of them was 'The Dark Knight' in which Heath plays The Joker. I remember thinking that he seemed a bit 'iffy' in that role and I couldn't wait to see how he really did in the movie. And now, barely 24 hours after I watched the trailer, he's gone.

If that was sobering, then the next piece of news is truly worrying.

Grandma had a fall in the toilet. Hurt her hip, she can't sit up without it hurting. My cuz who stays there was at home to help her up and call an ambulance.

Thank God that the X-rays found no fracture.

Still, being at her age, her bones are brittle and it's maddeningly worrying.

But she's all right. My sis and I went there and we were there with the one relative's family, to just visit and be around. I suppose the other relatives will be making their way there.

I don't know how lame or vulnerable this makes me sound but if you must know, this grandmother was the one who raised me while my mother went to work.

I always had this idea in my head that she would be there when I got married...no...wait...IF I get married.

Okay, IF I got married, I'd always thought she'd be there. Why? For the simple reason that she'd be there to see the face of the girl that was insane enough to take a chance on me.

And also, it'll be sorta right.You know, a full circle kind of thing. From boy to man, that kind of thing.

I hope she'll get up and about sooner rather than later. Though not too soon that she doesn't recuperate sufficiently.

I was in a bookstore for less than 5 minutes today. I saw at least four books I wanted to read.

You know if I was rich, this kind of thing would be one of my little indulgences. I mean, if one was rich enough to buy cars, one wouldn't be out buying a new one every single day right?

I'd buy all the books I want to read, the original CDs of bands I want to listen to (which would stop the pilfering of music) and watch all the plays and gigs that I want to.

Fulfilling my resolution would be a cinch then.

Oh speaking of my resolution, the Mosaic Music Festival is on from the 7th to 16th of March. The only highlights for me so far are Great Spy Experiment on the 9th of March from 9-9.45pm, located at The Living Room @ The Concourse.

My cuz is also performing from 5-5.30pm on the same day at the Singapore Art Cafe.And then again on the 11th of March at the Nokia Powerhouse from 7.30 to 8.15 and then from 10-10.45pm.

So those are a couple of things that will fill up my itinerary in March. Plus, maybe a few jazz shows? More in hope though. Anyone a fan of Harry Connick Jr.? Or at least wanna go see him play?

Oh no, I also so wanna save up for the Queen-inspired musical 'We Will Rock You'. The interesting storyline helps pique my interest.

See, many ways for me to fill up my artistically-curious mind.

If only I could go for them all. Those that I want to anyway.

Sports-Centered

2008-01-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

Mugging for stats, stopping now. Will continue later on at night.

Been missing the Australian Open 2008. =(

Missed watching Novak Djokovic play Lleyton Hewitt. Making it a point to be at home tomorrow when Maria Sharapova plays 1st seed Justine Henin.

It's the most accessible Open tournament but I'm missing it. I remember the times around 2004 when I used to follow every round and also the time when I used to get up at around 3 in the morning to watch the US Open.

I used to rate tennis very highly a few years ago. I still watch out for results but it's been ages since I've sat through a match.

All this while, Federer's still the man on top. Talk about staying power.

If I wanna be back by 4 tomorrow, it means I'll only be going for the POM lecture on Wednesday at 11 instead of Tuesday.

I hope it's the same guy lecturing. He was my tutor last time and he's a nice guy.

There's another show at the Substation this Saturday but I don't know if I'm going. I wanna go but it depends on how keen I feel.

Maybe I wanna do something different having already gone to a show last weekend at Ngee Ann.

We'll see.

I just found out that Step Up 2 will only be shown here around March 13 instead of February like I expected. Dang. Will have to wait to see how new up-and-comer Briana Evigan is compared to Jenna Dewan. Oh and RnB star Cassie of 'Me & U' will be in a supporting role as well. Trailer looks promising.

I can't wait for the 2nd quarter of the year to come. That's when my estate will finish it's upgrading process. It's very irritating now cos they're clearing the concrete parapets to make way for floor-to-floor lifts.

No real consequence to me cos I live on the 2nd floor.

Drills and concrete. Not ideal music.

Especially on Saturday mornings when I sleep in till later than usual.

I think Man Utd are in Saudi Arabia tonight participating in a testimonial match for Saudi legend Sami Al-Jaber. I wonder if they're televising the match.

Oh no, a possible distraction for my Biz Stats mugging later.

Off The Hazards And Onto The Green...For Now

2008-01-21T14:28:00.000+08:00

A little less flustered but still occupied.

The Micro project deadline kind of snuck up on me. Stayed up till 6 this morning to finish it and collate everything from my group members.

But it's over and done with so let that be the end of that.

Biz Stats test tomorrow. Constitutes 5% of my final grade. Given my dismal showing at the term test, I need every single bit of that percentage.

Maybe, if I hadn't gone out on Saturday I wouldn't have had to rush to finish up my Micro project.

But I'm glad I did cos I got to see Great Spy Experiment and Plain Sunset play their sets at 'Xplosion @ Ngee Ann Poly Open House'. We came too late too see the rest play.

My mate made a social faux pas when he derided (barely a) celebrity, Paul Twohill as 'That stupid Paul Twohill!'(something along that line) Which I didn't really mind if it wasn't for the fact that the subject of derision was standing only about 5 feet away.

My mate didn't realize how loud his voice was and I sure hope the music drowned out the poorly veiled insult.

It's simply just cos I think it's really awkward to insult someone standing so close to you and then remain there, pretending to be oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation, with the insulted person being so close.

That aside, taking into account the journey and the environment of the school, I'm real glad Ngee Ann isn't my school.

GSE was cool but Plain Sunset connected with me more.

One of their songs ('The River' I think) got picked up as the soundtrack to a Channel 5 'Heroes' trailer.

Speaking of Heroes, if it was possible to do so, I think I probably would have died from an overdose of Hayden Panettiere.

Die by overdosing on Hayden? To be honest, doesn't sound that bad. I wouldn't mind. Haha.

Star World was showing the whole 1st season of the show on Saturday and repeated it on Sunday. So it was Heroes pretty much for hours and hours over the weekend.

Heck, even my mom watched it and now she knows how the 1st season ends.

As for me, I'm waiting for the 3rd season.

I was disappointed that it had so little episodes compared to the first season. But the endings for a fair number of episodes from the 2nd one did leave me shocked. So, I guess it was good value. Even though they had a pretty unnecessary storyline involving 2 new characters.

Right, off for my much needed afternoon nap.

'Will you still be waiting on Queen Street?'

Digging In For The Hard Fight

2008-01-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

Everyone's feeling the squeeze. I know not of the situations in other institutions like MI and the JC's but I think that I can safely say that the ITE and poly students, except maybe for RP, is in a slight panic mode.

There is a countless number of us out there, fretting over project deadlines (and some of us, gasp! exams!!) and filled with dread at the possibility that we might not meet the various project requirements. This is perhaps the most strenuous part of any school project. This is the moment where schoolwork takes a slight backseat to that deadline.

Oh, to be honest, I don't know how other students are feeling. But it seems impossible that I'm the only one feeling whacked out from so many projects.

For those of you who only need to move at a cantering pace while the masses run about like maddened fools (in our minds anyway), you are to be saluted for you have mastered time management and beaten the eternal enemy of the student: procrastination.

Do note that I do not claim to have the most difficult project nor the heaviest of schedules. I am just lamenting together with my brethren about the pressure we face at this time of the year.

I am making noise because it is my burden. As heavy a burden seems to be to an onlooker, none feels its weight more than the one carrying the burden.

I'm taking a risk but I have to. I'm planning to sleep soon. And wake up at 3 to start on a part of my Micro project. I am simply calculating that there is no way that I can do it now, go to sleep and wake up for school which ends at 1, finish up projects till 6, before going for drama (if there is a session this week).

I could do that but I will be drained down to the tips of my hair and have nothing left by the end of the day.

The weekend will be further spent on finishing up the Micro project and doing other projects for other modules.

My plans for going to Xplosion @ Ngee Ann Poly Open House to watch Great Spy Experiment and other cool bands on Saturday have now officially gone up in smoke.

And trust me when I say that some of my peers have it worse then me. I feel for you guys.

To end on a positive note, today was the prelim consultation for my Sociology project.Even though it was last minute, we all did our parts well enough to earn the highest mark in the class of 9.5% out of 10%.

Yes, I fully realize it's only out of a measly 10%. But I'll rejoice in the smallest of victories, a slight relief while dealing with life in these dire times.

An Afternoon Pause

2008-01-15T13:07:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I've been so blog-happy these past few days.

I think that boredom has to shoulder some of the blame. But I can't discredit the fact that I've wanted to blog out my thoughts at the moment and not find it a chore.

I was just telling my mate about the benefits of technology on an inter-personal level.

I was just thinking about the past. Our grand-dads, when the liked a certain girl(factoring out arranged marriages), had no choice but to do it face to face. Sure, maybe they would get their friends to chat up the girl for a bit but they were gonna have to face the girl if they wanted to find out about her.

These days? No such thing. Well, there is, but there are also numerous options the interested party can undertake in his quest to gain knowledge about the girl.

I've lost count of the number of times a friend has told me they got to know someone online.

So when a guy sees a girl he likes, he could Google her (sounds so wrong on some levels, don't it?)

'hey yeah, just go ahead and Google her'. Google...haha.

Yeah, from there, he could see what social network she was on. FBook, Fster, Myspace and of course, her blog. He could get to know loads about her without actually saying a single word to her and she won't even know he exists.

The next step would be then to make contact from there through any IM service, Windows Live being the most common round these parts and then that's where things start.

It's almost stalker-ish. But everybody's done it on some level. Technology has allowed us to know and meet people that we would not have possibly known existed under traditional (outdated) norms during the times of our grandparents.

Our grand-dads couldn't do that. If he wanted to talk to someone who lived 3 towns away he would probably walk or take the bus to that town and that doesn't even take into consideration he has to gather up the courage to initiate and continue decent conversation without falling to pieces in a jittery mess.

The veil of technology saves us modern brats all that trouble.

That concludes my recently-constructed, ill-informed opinion expressed in this post.

I didn't go school today. Wanted to finish a glut of uncompleted assignments and projects.

I must have been away on the day God was passing out good time management skills. =|

I Want John Nash As My Best Friend

2008-01-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

Why am I so reluctant and dare I say, afraid when it comes to Business Statistics.

It doesn't help that I'm already so despondent when the idea of doing Stats pop into my head, I get frustrated easily with the numbers.

I've always bred this stigma towards numbers ever since I was young and I've got to cure it somehow.

I have to sit down and keep doing questions over and over again and not only that, I've got to get them right. No point in doing so many but end up getting them wrong and not doing anything about it.

I wish someone with lots of patience could sit next to me and tell me where I went wrong when I do go wrong.

I wish my best friend was a mathematician.

Before I went to post this, I felt like giving up. But I think now, I'm ready for another go at it.

I know I can ask for help. There is someone. But I feel like I've troubled that person enough.

It's not my ego. If it calls for dramatics, I'll provide by getting down on my hands and knees (for numbers? who would have thought huh?)

I really just feel that I really have troubled that person enough and that's already on top of their busy life.

I'm gonna try to sit through tonight and finish what I have to finish and do it well.

Even though I still want to attend an early lecture tomorrow.

Goddamnit. I'm gonna act like it's prison. I'm gonna make Biz Stats my bitch. Well, at least the 'Sampling Methods' & the 'Central Limit Theorem'.

An Insomniac's Mind In Random Mode

2008-01-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

I know it's late and I'm supposed to be getting ready for school tomorrow but I'm here instead so there, let it be the end of that.

I can't really get to sleep.

A thought crossed my mind lately. But it's only for those interested in Hollywood biopics on drug lords.

As it is, my mates and I are rather interested.

As you all know,American Gangster is currently showing in local cinemas but I caught in early November '06, thanks to an Internet leak.To me, it was a good movie but it wasn't great, like we had expected it to be.

Denzel Washington plays Frank Lucas, a 1970's Harlem drug kingpin named Frank Lucas. I also watched the movie, cos my favourite rapper, T.I. was playing Frank's nephew. T.I. gets shot in the back while running from the feds when they raid the house.

In 2001, the ever-versatile Johnny Depp, played George Jung another drug kingpin.

And slated for release in 2009, "Killing Pablo" will be showing us the life of Pablo Escobar, a Colombian drug lord who became so rich that in 1989, Forbes magazine listed him as the 7th richest man in the world.Javier Bardem is currently lined up to play the man himself.

I think that Pablo Escobar has a much more interesting story than the other 2. But it all depends on how the movie portrays him.

The thing about American Gangster that I didn't like was the fact that Frank Lucas was always in control of the situation. He always seemed too cool,even after he got arrested and charged and I find that hard to believe.At least they showed George Jung's vulnerability when he got screwed. I can't wait for 2009 to see how Killing Pablo will come out.

If you're wondering why I'm speaking at great lengths about this, it's just cos that's what my mates and I do talk about sometimes. We like to talk about movies, some well-known and some not that mainstream and sometimes we talk about the stories behind these movies.

That, and also getting irritated but yet dancing along to Soulja Boy. That song has an irritating addictiveness to it.The dance isn't too difficult so it makes it lots of fun.

Speaking of movies, I'm hoping Denzel won't get the Best Actor nod at the Golden Globes. Not because I don't like him, cos I think he's brilliant. I just don't think his performance in A. Gangster merits one, unlike Training Day. Also, just to spite and taunt a mate who, thanks to his obsessive fanaticism about Denzel, I knew way too much about A. Gangster and way earlier than I needed to.

A trend amongst us, is that we've been slacking less and less, which is good I think cos it means we're wasting less of our own times and we get to do other stuff. Even when we do, it's loads more fun. A decrease in quantity has led to an increase in quality. We're meeting at different places now instead of the usual place, which makes it more fun.

See ya geezers at Starbucks at Sengkang eh?

I might be heading over to Xplosion @ Ngee Ann Poly Open House next Sat.11am-6pm. Lots of good local acts playing.Looking for tag-alongers. I wonder if me mates are interested.That night, United are playing so it will give me something to look forward to when I go home.

Lots of people don't really support local indie acts cos they're not as polished as the overseas ones that they see on TV but I think I'm beginning to see that sometimes, being raw and unpolished is good too.I mean I always knew good local acts were around in the underground, I've heard em. Just never really been bothered to follow them like I am now.

Oh, to cap things off, you know how American rappers always never fail to be representing their 'hood' or region? You got Snoop Dogg for the LBC West Coast, Fat Joe for the Bronx in NYC, Nelly for St. Louis and T.I.(undisputed King of the South, I do believe) and all that. All of us talked and we realized how ridiculously hilarious it would be if we Singaporeans had a great hiphop scene and tried to represent like their American counterparts.

It would be fine if they stayed in Jurong or Tampines cos that would be the West Side and the East Side.But in Singapore, we have the North East line and a rapper coming from Hougang would sound dumb shouting "North-East, where you at?" and then proceeding trying to do an "NorthEast sign.He would need both hands.Could you imagine a local trying to say that in hip-hop slang? It would totally ruin his image man.

Oohh, maybe we could be H-Town. Just like how Atlanta is A-Town?

Gosh,I'm cracking up just thinking about it. Maybe you find it stupid. Maybe it is. But it's these stupid things that crack me up sometimes.

Many Ways To Spend A Week

2008-01-13T19:37:00.000+08:00

Another week draws to a close. Project deadlines have move much closer.

No school this past Friday so I headed down for a chalet that had been planned for quite a while.

It was pretty neat. Having a kickass sound system early in the 2nd day helped loads. It was a pretty big bungalow, 7 bedrooms in total.

It was fun with an element of creepiness involved, given the remote location and its proximity to an eerie old hospital, which we went to go and see in the dead of the night. Not recommended for the faint of heart, even though no one saw anything.

Yesterday, after I reached home, went for a late dinner at East Coast with dad, made me rather full.

Got home an hour before the Man Utd game started. Pleased to see the team hit six past woeful opposition.

It isn't too bad a way to end the week but having said that, I could have spent it another way if I wanted to.Not just for this past weekend but the whole week.

Throughout the week, there have been events and shows that I could have attended but missed for one reason or another.

It's kind of okay cos I didn't have too bad a week but I am displeased with myself cos I'm not following my 'resolution' of going new places.

Besides, had I gone for this one party on Saturday night, I wouldn't have been able to see Man Utd win 6-0 on the telly.

I can take comfort in the fact that it's only the beginning of the year and there will be many more gigs, shows and events to come.

Without a functioning hard disk drive, I feel so unmotivated to replenish my music library. Same goes when it comes to movies as well. All of it will clog up my laptop system and slow it down anyway and I don't really want that to happen. Much more than I want to have a large media collection.So it'll have to wait.

I wanted to head over to dad's place today but a lighting storm put an end to those plans. He had an away United jersey waiting for me. It may not be a Grade-A original like I would it to be but I appreciate that my dad got it for me. I would rather have the black 3rd kit which my brother got cos it looks way nicer but I can't cos it isn't my size.

4 weeks before the start of the revision week. 5 before the exam week. It'll be over before I know it. I'll be too busy studying and completing projects to notice the weeks fly by. That's what happened last semester so I expect it to happen again.

Disastrous Beginnings

2008-01-09T19:09:00.000+08:00

It's only been a couple of days but I feel like I haven't posted in ages. I was wondering why that was and I think that the reason is cos so many things have happened. Not just to me but to people around me.

For me, it's more of hassles and inconveniences and pure bad luck but for others it's a just outright frustration and turmoil.

We haven't had a good start to 2008. It's early days in the year and we are flailing to grasp at the confusion and turmoil around us.

Where do I start? I'll just cover my random and boring details, stuff that happened to me. I won't really go into details about others' problems cos it's not my place to be commenting on them.

First off. MIC Studio. This is really how I felt.

Sleepover to prepare for the now-past Jan 08 Orientation.

It was a lot of work, a lot of stress. But I feel that I cannot truthfully say that I contributed much. It feels that way. I felt so inadequate and inept for not being up to standard.

Habib, the main SA, seems to have a good bunch of 1st years on his hands. A capable and TALENTED bunch.

Anyways, it was a sleepover where I only got 1 hour of sleep.I came straight from home after coming straight from school.After I woke up, I had to rush back to TP for a PACE workshop before coming back to Bishan to take my laptop.

I felt strained. But I know that others felt worse than me. I know this is gonna sound selfish but I was wondering if having too many things on my plate will eventually affect me but without me realizing it.

I just don't think that someone who is supposed to be totally geared towards TP and really doing better at school should be feeling so displaced when he has to rush for this and that and something else.

There has been a couple of times where I've skipped lectures for MIC or skipped MIC for lectures.For the part of me skipping lecs for MIC, it's not their fault. It was my prerogative and I take responsibility for it.

My point is that, I'm trying so hard to give to both that I end up not giving my best to either, which is what they deserve. So, the question that comes to me is if I should rule myself out right from the beginning? Out of MIC of course, cos I can't rule myself out of school.

Maybe I shouldn't have been involved in this particular project right from the off cos of the timing of it. I thought I could balance my time but turns out I can't do it all that well. It may not really be affecting me physically cos I can handle that part but it's may be affecting me mentally and I'm not consciously aware of it.

Anyways, MIC's skit was yesterday. I hope they killed it, like MIC always does. Heck, I know they did, that's how good I think they are.

I don't know if I'll be back to be involved in the preparations April '08 Orientation skit. As of right now, I think not but in the end I think I will be. If I am not involved, I'd still probably come and and peek in and help just a bit.

At the end of the sleepover, my beloved hard disk drive malfunctioned, leaving me with none of my music, movies and PICTURES. I feel sad for the pictures cos they're the only memories I have of some good times.

I can still recover them, but I must find a way to pay the market price of a minimum of $200. That's the cost of the data recovery service.

=(

That really, really, really sucks.

I have to find up a way to come up with the money.

Oh, due to the 'brilliant' civil administration service at the Ministry of Education, the army people were alerted to the fact that I was no longer schooling. I had to go all the way to CMPB to clarify this and the clerk told me that even though they had alerted MOE, the latter is not doing anything to actively fix the problem.

I don't know if it's just ineptness or a system glitch but sometimes, students who are studying are listed as 'not studying' and those who aren't are listed as 'studying'(how lucky are these 2nd group of guys?)

Oh, on the day that I went to CMPB, another mate of mine SMSed me something about someone and I don't know why, I couldn't stop smiling in anticipation after that.I looked like a right mental case, what with me seemingly smiling to myself.

Oh and on the way to CMPB, the bus passed by GESS (not really hard to figure out the acronym but the reason is still a secret for those who don't know) and this made me smile even more.I looked like a real jackass.

I really hope I can do what I said I wanted to do in 08. 'go new places, try new things and meet new people' and not just say it and then not do it.

To my mate who is mired in turmoil and controversy,

'Hang in there mate, the rest of us are here if you need us and you'll make it through this shite.' Just like Earl man, it's all about Karma. Looking forward to the happy times for ya again, just like J-Man and Chandy! (inside joke)

To my dear friend who's had to question his/her(for privacy's sake and to keep people guessing) very cursed luck, question the point of trying so hard and making him/her feel like almost giving up,

'I don't know if my virtual words can make it better but hang in there. all you can do is keep going. don't give up cos you ain't alone cos I know someone else who is willing to be there for you through it all. Actually, I'm there too. Like I always told you i would be, as a friend, if you ever needed me. But I think somebody else has first dibs, hahaha! Maybe I don't know what it's like to walk in your shoes, but I can be there, walking right next to you'

It sucks to see my friends all down and uncertain.

Tribute to troubled thinkers, teamed in yours truly's thoughts through the theme of trials and tribulations

The Danger Of Overindulgence Whilst In The Spirit Of Discovery

2008-01-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

Okay. I know I'm supposed to go about how this is the first post of 2008 and everything but it's just another post, just another year.

To all those who know me, sincere annual greetings and joy I wish upon you all.

Resolutions?

Nothing really absolute. Just thinking I should continue doing what I've been doing for 2007.

Going to places, trying new things, meeting new people and having new experiences which leads to have an interesting and varied life. Sounds iffy and intangible.Yeah, it may not be something straightforward like 'gain weight' but it is what it is, so there.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I want to do more different things. I may not end up liking everything new that I do but at least I could always say after that I've already went through the experience.

Does it have something to do with me being older and aware of it. Fine, 20 is just a number and isn't like 21, but I'm only just starting to explore things.

Poetry and spoken word readings,movies, film festivals, jazz bars, international plays, local plays, rock gigs, rap battles, student parties, club house parties and more of the like.

Some of the stuff I've tried, well most of it actually. But I want to do more of it.

And interspersed into all these things are of course, the usual, namely school, CCAs, slacking with the mates.

I was trawling thru Facebook and other online sites like the Good English Movement website and other assorted ones and apparently there's this acoustic/rock gig at Timbre near the Substation. Might get me mateys to tag along, if they're really serious about doing new things as well.

Really, my mates and I, we're sick of the same old, same old.

Oh and I don't know why but everyone was talking about Facebook today.

It all comes to a head for me this weekend. This is the time where it will be obvious to others that I have a clash of commitments. This will result in me having to sacrifice one and rushing for another this weekend, just so I could prioritize one that I deem to be more pressing.

That would be the show for Jan '08 Orientation. Lots still need to be done. Afraid of coming up short in so many aspects of the show. Indeed, very afraid.

Perhaps I should attach a footnote in that earlier resolution warning me against having too many things on my plate that will stretch me physically and mentally. I must know my limits and not be overambitious.

Impatient Buggers

2007-12-31T02:29:00.000+08:00

Okay, I know I'm supposed to be asleep but I napped earlier and now I can't sleep.

School starts at 9 tomorrow.

Let's just get the next 7 weeks over and done with. Then I'll be left with 2 years.

It's a half day so I'll be done at 1.

Egad! I just realized that tomorrow is the portfolio discussion for the Macro project. And my group hasn't started on anything at all really.Nothing.

Eh, we'll just wing it. Just for tomorrow of course, not the whole project. I am aiming for an A.

Oh, on the way home today, I saw a man sitting in a cardboard box. Literally. He looked quite happy sitting in it and talking to his friend, with his legs sticking out, sitting in a V-shaped posture.

Mate's coming back from London tomorrow, or rather on rather. The gang and I have no idea if we're really gonna go through with the Soulja Boy prank, we've been talking about doing. I'll only talk about it some other time, depends on whether we go through with it. It's not really a prank, it's just something in the name of stupid fun.

It would have been better if they had just rounded off the year and waited till next year to start the new term but apparently the school administrators are about as patient as attention-deficit-disorder (ADD) kids who overdosed on caffeine.

Ah well, since they're so eager. Why deny them? I won't kick up a fuss. I'll just go and do what I'm supposed to do quietly, save for the odd groan of disdain every now and then.

7 more weeks. I'll be counting down. It begins now.

Unfortunately...

2007-12-30T01:05:00.001+08:00

First off, condolences to my half-siblings and their family along with my dad. My half-grandfather(I guess you could say that) passed away today. I don't know him much cos I only saw him every now and then but I remember he was a decently nice guy.

I wouldn't have gone if my grandmother

That aside, it turned out to be a pretty unfortunate day for me.

It started out just fine. After the funeral I headed to town to meet my mates at Vivocity. I wanted to watch National Treasure: Book Of Secrets but we didn't end up doing that. I went to get something for my mate cos I needed to give it to him. Other then that, did lunch and just walked around. Laid my eyes on some nice threads. Might get new clothes, when I get money from working during the 2 month break in the future.

So, after that we just slacked at Starbucks in the north-east, near home so I could get home in time for the Man Utd game.

Khairul's Series Of Unfortunate Events was about to begin.

First off, Man Utd played their worst game of the season, their my uninspired display of the season and deservedly lost to a better team in West Ham United,2-1. With rivals Arsenal winning 4-1, we end 2007 in 2nd place as they moved back to the top.

I'm not worried, it's a long season.In fact, I think and hope that this will wake the team up and make them perform better.

Okay, after that, I went online to use the internet. It just piled up.

On IMDB.com...their daily short news compilation reported the following...

First off, Jessica Alba is engaged. People who know me on a personal level know that I like Jessica Alba. I'm not obsessive, I very much like real-life girls but I'm sure like many other males, I'm disappointed just like them. I remember liking her when she wasn't THAT popular, in shows like Dark Angel and movies like "Idle Hands".

Then in that same compilation,

Heroes co-stars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia announce that they are together. After months of denying it and saying they are just friends, they are officially together.

Look, I know I sound so shallow talking about celebs but I'm just highlighting my comical 'misfortune', of having my my favourite footy team lose and minutes after that find out that 2 of my favorite female celebs are hooking up.

I get that and I am not THAT affected, trust me, but all in one night? C'mon that's just gotta suck. 3 sucker punches in a row.

Add that to all the flirting that's going on among different friends of mine that I know (separately)...

Sigh, everybody seems to be hooking up.

Except me, the perennial reject.

They Say That Variety Is The Spice Of Life

2007-12-26T02:31:00.000+08:00

Days have been filled with different things to do.

MIC Studio.
Soccer (even late night)
A quick trip to the movies
A day at dad's place.

A good mix of work, fun and family.

I don't know why but I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed when it comes to MIC. Not that there's lots of work to do cos its not like I've never been through what I'm going through now. Hmph, I don't know what's wrong. I just feel a little outta place there. Like something's not right.

It's been a little tiring. Stayed up for 30 hours without sleep from Sunday night to Monday night but I wasn't exactly on the brink of collapse. Guess I've gotten used to it.

I should stop being so obsessive over certain things.I should just wait for fate to step in. Then again, people do say that sometimes, we make our own chances. Oh, I don't know.

Okay, that was just a random thought.

I don't know how outdated or lame this would make me but I've been listening loads to "The Rocket Summer"(Rock/Pop/Soul). I think their songs are nice.

And also,"Kill Paradise"(Indie/Pop/Electronica)

See, more variety there. A change from the usual dose of RnB and Rock.

More variety in the week to come I hope. There's a indie band performing at somewhere near the Esplanade. They're performing Christmas songs. Initially I was going there for another reason but after thinking about it again, rock cover versions of holiday songs sounds like an interesting enough reason to go.

I know it's after Christmas but still, it's around the Christmas season so it's all right.

Might have drama practice on that day though so I will give it some thought.

On a more serious note, I will have to add more work to that variety. Tutorials still left undone. I'd like to get to it some time before the usual time, that is on the night before school reopens, which is very last-minute.

Very Nice Time For Very Nice Things

2007-12-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

Saw that at Popular when I was queuing up to pay for some new stationery. I want! I want!

Sadly, it costs $30++

Over the past few days, I've been busy with the Jan '08 Orientation Skit script. Working with the project managers and another ex-member, we huffed and puffed to conceptualize everything and work out the kinks to come up with something that we think will make an impact.

And we did it just in the nick of time too. The first day of rehearsals is scheduled for Monday.All that's left to do is type up and collate the scenes.

I slept at 6am last night. I was watching Jet Li's 'Fearless' and then I proceeded to watch I Am Legend as well(opens on Christmas Day).

I Am Legend isn't an action packed thriller like Independence Day. It's like War Of The Worlds, minus all but one human. Well, for the most part of the movie anyway. It's a commendable performance by Will Smith, considering that it is literally a one-man show for a good 3/4 of the movie.

I was supposed to go out tomorrow but now I'm not sure. Not with a script to type out by the next day. Having said that, I still would like to go out tomorrow.

Pregnant celebrities are all the rage. Continuing in the vein of the last post, it's been reported a while back but, my uber-favorite Jessica Alba is also pregnant via her long term boyfriend, Cash Warren. If it's a girl and she looks anything like her mother, God save the men of year 2027.

It's the Christmas season and Michael Buble's Christmas songs can be heard everywhere. That, I like, very much.

It's Been A Busy One

2007-12-20T19:18:00.000+08:00

Picking up where I left off since the last time I posted...

Monday was a stupid-arse day.

First off to Bishan. Handed my laptop to the MIC people.

Had to leave for CMPB(the NS people). They gave me a letter a month ago saying that they didn't have my data and also that I didn't go through some of the stations. Which was absolute rubbish, cos I clearly remember doing those stations.

So I had to go all the way down there. My data was there so all I did was retake some measurements, and get signatures for the stations cos they did have my data after all, like I said. All I did was click 'confirm' over and over again.

Bollocks. Nothing like civil service muddle ups to ruin your day.

I'm not criticizing the government but rather their display of ineptness. Can you imagine if I had to go through the tests again? Especially, if it was the 3hr-long IQ (MAPAS) test.

After that it was back to Bishan. Then back home, to change for the PACE year-end party. Then, from home to TP, rushing to make it for the party.

The party was all right, nice and cozy. I stayed behind to help them clear up. They did put in a lot of effort to make it an enjoyable event for me and the rest. I figured I could reciprocate a little effort cos I feel it's only fair.

I left school at 11pm. I had to trudge by bus to somewhere else to get back my laptop that I had left with the MIC people. I managed to get lucky with my bus connections and managed to get on the last bus home.

I reached home at almost 2am.

Honestly, I wouldn't have minded the day if it hadn't been for the CMPB thing. The trip there and back really took a lot out of me.

Tuesday was another MIC day. Made initial progress on the storyline.

Wednesday was a day for PACE. A unforeseen circumstance delayed me but not by much. A useful workshop. The end of the workshop left me in a contemplative mood.

I'm ambivalent when it comes to PACE. As in, I'm not exactly begging to be put on duties but at the same time, my belief in myself sees no point in just floating along in the CCA.

Lets put it in soccer terms. I'm going through all the training and briefings but not only am I not getting selected for matches but I'm not even in the first team squad.

I'll do what every good professional soccer player does, keep my chin up and keep plugging away.

I don't mind not having duties but I would at least like something, some work to do from my department (Admin).

Wait, I know I wasn't the mos forthcoming in the beginning and I've only recently started to show them my commitment. I'm being realistic, I know that I haven't done enough on my part to be jumping up and down the sidelines, screaming my head off just cos I ain't getting selected.

I'll bide my time and I'll keep showing my commitment. I do want to come to all the upcoming events. Along the way, I'll do little things to say and suggest that I'm good and ready.

If they still still don't think that I don't have the 'mentality' of a PACEr, (as they say of those who have yet to receive duties) do I then contemplate a 'transfer request'? We'll have to wait and see. I'd rather not actually cos I don't like to say that I quit something.

After the workshop, I went to send off a friend with the rest of the mates. We ate at Popeye's. It's nice to eat there every once in a while, it's a change from KFC.

Controversy is abound with Jamie Lynn Spears' reported pregnancy. Only 16, I wonder how her PR people are going spin this into a positive story. I wouldn't say her career is over but this is definitely a speed bump. She had the chance to move in a different direction from her sister, away all the controversy. But it looks like she doesn't mind following in her sister's footsteps.

MIC on Friday and Saturday. Possibly a charity sale to visit on Sunday. And I'll round off the week with a Man Utd game.

Nice, a variety of events for me to deal with.

Cool varie

This post took a couple of days to type out cos I wasn't feeling motivated to finish it but it's about done.

Afterburners Burned Out

2007-12-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

When I woke up, the weather today, seemed to be a fair reflection of how I feel.

It was bright but there was always a hint of rain coming along. The skies got darker and darker before the downpour came somewhere near 6pm.

I'm not tired but at the same time, neither do I have the same levels of energy that I usually have on normal days.

Blame it on last night's exertions.

All-nighters leave my body feeling all-screwed up. I feel surreal, weird and this is cos when I'm heading home, I see people who are just starting their day, all fresh and I haven't ended mine. I'm no stranger to all-nighters but it still takes some getting used to.

Last night was all right. The live band was pretty cool. The rapper looked like a 50 Cent wannabe and 'Keri Hilson' was also there.

The rapper 'borrowed' my dogtag when they were performing Gangsta's Paradise. Haha. He even had a fake gun with him. Don't worry, he returned it after. The crowd was strong but I could feel the vibe weaken by 330+.But it was still pretty good.

We left the club at 4plus, not before we ended of with the very good party classic that is House Of Pain's 'Jump Around'. Yeah, old school.

We walked elsewhere to grab a bite. Well, I was too lazy to eat so I just grabbed a drink of Milo.

My mate's brother was nearby so we joined him till the club closed at 6. The couch at the club was so comfortable that I closed my eyes for a bit. Yes, I could do that even with the loud music. That's how drained I was.

We walked out looking for a cab but as luck would have it, we were very near Clarke Quay MRT so we just took that home.

Reached home at 720. Used the laptop for a bit and was asleep by 8am.

I woke up at 1plus, close to 2.

I don't know how people do this every weekend.

On Thursday,after the last paper, I went to celebrate a friend's birthday at a mate's house and went home late. I had just come from town after looking for a new white top and a scarf.

Last night was the club.

And now, with it only being Saturday, I don't think I have much energy left for Sunday.There's a good chance that I won't stay up too late tonight.

I didn't want to plant myself in front of the computer the whole day cos it seems so wasteful but like I mentioned, I had no energy to go out. I was supposed to go back to town today to purchase the top and scarf I had scouted but I shelved that. So, I decided to stay at home and promised myself that I would do something productive, even if just a little bit. So, here's this post and also I'll do a little bit of school projects later.

I seem whiny here about having no energy but I actually realize that I shouldn't be complaining. I did want a varied lifestyle right?

So, this is one of the things that make my life a little bit more interesting.

I wouldn't recommend frequent exposure to the clubbing lifestyle to younger parties unless it's really what they want and they are sure they can handle it.

I mean, I think that living this way will expose us to the seedier and less savory aspects of life, ie, funny behaviour and all the stuff that happens in the nightlife scene. But I think it's also a positive experience in the sense that it will help me learn about people and life and how to deal with different people in life and have more knowledge of things, something I wouldn't know about if I were to be sitting at home every day and every night.

Some of my mates are going to have a kickabout at the soccer court and I was supposed to go as well but with the way I'm feeling, fuhgedaboutit! They may have the energy but that's them, but not me.

Right, that's about it. I'll continue feeling discombobulated for the rest of the day.

The Return Of The One That Got Away (And She's With A Friend)

2007-12-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

The Prin Mgmt paper was easier than expected. =)

I heard that the MIC-heads have already got the ball rolling for the Jan intake show. Schedules, basic storyline, initial logistics all sorted out, within a week? This bunch is most definitely off to a promising start.

Not that the student advisors will be much of a help this time round. Somehow, we can't find the time to make time for MIC. We all have a lot more pressing matters.

Right, so...the party on Friday, just got a whole lot more interesting. For me, yeah, but mostly for my mate.

You see, I was Facebook-ing when I saw this girl's profile. Turns out, she's the best mate of this other girl who my friend had the major hots for in the past. He was too shy back then, which was a shame cos he could have gotten close had he spoken up more. He does wonder 'what if...' about her.

So, I see that this 1st girl is coming to a party I'm going to this Friday. In fact, all my mates are. And if this girl is going, she's bound to bring her partner-in-crime, who is known to be my friend's desire from the past.

Now, when I told him and he found out, he's freaking out cos they haven't seen each other in ages and he's wondering what she'll say when she sees him.

Hmm, I get to see the 1st girl in person (I heard she looks fly) and I also get to see my friend all panicky when he spots his past desire when we hit the club. Either way, I win. But honestly, I'm more interested to see my mate squirming around trying to catch a sight of his ex-crush and and see him fidget his ass off when he knows that she is around. The friend might be nice, but she's just the eye-candy(I hardly mind!) to the real show.

It is going to be one interesting night, fer sure.

Sleepy Study Day

2007-12-10T21:05:00.000+08:00

Just thought I'd get one in before I restart my studying.

It's been a rainy one today. Monsoon-related,I guess.

Micro paper was all right. Initially, fouled up the data analysis part, or whatever you call it. But I managed to get my brain right in time to remember the correct calculation methods. I'm hoping for a B. But I may get less. Depends on how little I screwed up on the other parts of the paper.

Been unsuccessfully looking for a WORKING link for Bring It On Again: All Or Nothing. Sigh. Hayden Panettiere's in that. I so wanna watch it again, after watching it on cable the other time.

Of all things, I watched Dhoom 2 when I got back from the test today. I hardly watch Bollywood movies, unless they involve my favourite, Preity Zinta. But Dhoom2 was supposed to be more action and I couldn't really be bothered with the song-and-dance scenes.

I think I'm gonna go rent Season 3 and 4 of One Tree Hill when the hols come around on Friday. That'll give me something to do.

PACE year-end party. Theme: White Christmas. Or something like that. Sigh, I have nothing in white. Must I get something new? Perhaps a new top...

Another late night mugging session is on the cards for me. I keep forgetting all my stuff.

I had a very insightful conversation with a taxi driver on the way to school the other day. Get it straight from the 'horse's mouth', if you will.

A lot has been made about the problem/plight of taxi drivers here.

We have the unscrupulous lot who give Singapore a bad image by charging ridiculous prices, un-metered fares, $35 and things like that.

And then there is this honest lot who gripe about rising costs and the fact that they now have to work longer hours just to cover costs. The fact that diesel prices are up doesn't help. That's out of our government's control. Blame it on the volatile global oil market.

But my opinion is that there should be at least some sort of basic stuff in place for them. They don't even have medical benefits. Not working today cos you have no money, sorry bub, no income today then.

The taxi companies raising fares doesn't help at all. All it's gonna do is flare matters between the taxi-riding public (who don't like increases) and the taxi drivers (who'll hardly see any return on that 30-cent increase). It'll go back to the taxi companies anyway.

Yeah, all of us have had our fair share of bad taxicab experiences but for the most part they're trying to make a living (though for the case of the overcharging bastards, I do feel they should have their licenses revoked).

I'm not going to comment much on the government cos I think we can't keep pushing stuff to them.I'd just thought I'd give my two cents worth on an issue on a basic, human level.The man on the street, you, me and the taxi drivers.

Anyways, back to being apathetic and self-indulgent, all I care about in the immediate future will be my Prin Mgt paper tomorrow and the joy that I'll feel if I find Bring It All Again: All Or Nothing.

Back to the books, boy!

Oh, and the party that I might be going to, turns out, it's on the 14th, not the 16th. It's just a day after I finish my midsems, so talk about nice timing. I should be going, I think. Well, I'll be going if my mates are going. Probably just a couple of hours and then I'll just cab home.

With You

2007-12-08T20:10:00.001+08:00

Music Videos - With You

DO PAUSE THE AUTO SONG PLAYING AT THE TOP OF MY BLOG FIRST

Chris Brown - With You.

'hearts all over the world tonight'

Saccharine sweet song. Good vid. And the boy can sure dance.

I don't know if he has ever released a single that is geared towards a more acoustic sound like this, but I like it. His chequered top keeps changing colours too.

Right, back to studying.

My Thoughts: A Dollar Apiece (Due To Inflation)

2007-12-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

I don't know if this is cos of me having been schooling for so long but I've noticed a certain trend, if you will, about myself.

I seem to need a little injection and variety in my life or else I will get bored with the monotony of school. Of course, I'm talking about variety of the positive kind. Nobody wishes for ill luck upon themselves though perhaps, under the most extenuating of circumstances.

What I'm trying to say is, every now and again, I need a piece of good news to perk me up and keep me going, like my own shot of caffeine. A memorable outing with friends, a financial windfall or a new and different experience from a new activity, event or place.

I guess you could say life keeps me going. A fun life. I'm not the most outgoing person. I wouldn't be the first guy to volunteer to jump out of a moving plane in the air. But, neither can I stand rotting away at home for days on end.

I'll be like, I gotta get out.

And after the midsems I might. There's gonna be a student's party at 'The Arena' at Clarke Quay on the 16th. It doesn't matter to me that it's a students party, I would have gone even if is wasn't. As in it's not even a factor for me.

I'm still considering whether or not to go but I just might cos it seems rather fitting to commemorate the end of the midsems with a 'small' party. Also, it is my friend's show, he is the DJ for the night. So I might be going. Even though I have a PACESetters year-end party the next evening.

It's been hard to get movies since my usual source closed down but I've compensated for that by searching more extensively and I guess I'm fine now.

It seems that Season 2 or 'Volume 2' of Heroes has ended. With the Writers' Guild of America (WGA) still on their never-ending strike, Season 3 will be delayed, regardless of whether the NBC programmers wanted it or not.

Many shows and movies have been affected. As a consumer or viewer or whatever, it does get annoying to know that your favourite shows will be late while coming back. Already, I've had to deal with Prison Break being on hiatus. But that's a planned one rather than one affected by the strike. Let's hope they've written enough to see the show through the end of the strike.

I can understand the writers' gripes. Some of the stuff they come up with is really good and they're really good but they're not getting a part of the money that the networks get from online ads and shows and other online stuff. And, apparently, it is a LOT of money. All the writers' want is a fair share of revenue earned.

Okay, enough of the Hollywood update.

I did my Sociology class test today(10%). Only stared studying it an hour and a half before. If I'm lucky, I can pass.Which is just fine for me. It is just 10% of my final grade and I did just study an hour and a half before.

Oh, I wish that real life imitated reel life more. If that's a fool's wish, then call me a fool.

Which part do I want to be like the movies? Those times, where you see the girl but too fleetingly. A short sighting of her, a chance encounter that left a lot of impact on you, stuff like that. And you want to meet again. In reel life, the guy always does. He'll go looking for her or, fate may put them together again. Unfortunately, not in real life.

Oh and the reason I put this excerpt of '2 Step Bhangra' in my blog is cos I can't get it out of my head and I hope by listening to it more/too often, I'll get sick of it sooner rather than later.

Off to sleep, than up in the AM to mug.

Thankful

2007-12-05T20:38:00.001+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me today. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's something.

Maybe it's just that I'm so tired of feeling so overwhelmed. School isn't that bad actually, other than the fact that I'm scrambling for midsems.

But still, I was feeling fine this morning but then as the day wore I just got more and more weary. Not physically, just mentally.

I so want to do the script idea for Dramatec. But school projects, tutorials and revisions are keeping me occupied. I'm not even sure I can commit to MIC's orientation prep work until the 14th.

Yesterday's studying was a good start and I should continue with that.

I loaned out my hard disk drive to Nareeza. I don't know how long she'll keep it but I guess I wouldn't mind if she kept it till after the midsems. It would be a major distraction and I'd only be watching my movies and listening to music instead of studying.

So, I guess it was good that I loaned it out to her. No worries for her though, I know she's the kind of person that is sensible enough to put off the movies she wants to watch till after the midsems.

I also loaned her my book. As in, the book that has my story inside. For a particular reason she hasn't read it yet but bygones are bygones so now she will.

I'm still a little bummed out and I still don't know why. Maybe it really is nothing more than mental exhaustion with the school term. Burnout. I know, I know, some people who go through same or worse things than me as a poly student say that I ain't got shit on their stress. Yeah, I have my stress levels and they have theirs.

I wish I could meet all the different people I know. As in my different social groups. During the midsem break. Cos if I can't get to do that then all my pent up stress will remain caged and I'll just rot away at home. But that's after the midsems. Probably best that I get the midsems over with first.

It totally bites to see your friends in conflict.

Thinking about this fact lets me put things in perspective.

I think what made me feel good after last night and this morning was the fact that I was thankful. Thankful to the Almighty that he allowed something to be saved, something I thought lost. To juxtapose this 'feelgood' thing that I have against the conflict that I see going around me, it really drives home the point that I should be thankful.

Hopefully, having realized how good I got it and how bad others have it (not that I take joy from their sorrow, just that it makes me appreciate my situation more) will make me feel good and get me this out of my blue funk.

Something is bothering my friend. I can see it. But I daren't ask. It might be a sensitive subject. But I'd dearly wish she wouldn't be afraid to open up to me. It sucks to see her confused about how she feels. Well, if she chooses to, I'll be there for her. If not, well...it is her prerogative.

Right, I'm off to a mate's to go get the Socio textbook off his hands. When I get back, more studying.

These 'Testing' Days That We Live In

2007-12-05T00:09:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated in ages. People sometimes say that they're really busy, too busy to update and I think I just recently went through what these people go through.

Let me regale my tale.

So, on Friday, I had Dramatec as usual till 9. After that I cabbed over to a mate's place to meet the rest of the usual guys. Hung out at Dhillon's Tavern.

How cool is that. To have a mate who has an actual bar in his own house. Not that I drink of course, but it was just nice to de-stress with mates at the end of the week.

So I went home a happy camper when it was about 0130am, when I suddenly remembered that I had PACESetters at 9 the next morning. Completely slipped my mind. By the time I reached home, it was 2+.

Checked my email and went for lights out at 3.

Was up by 7am, dragging myself out of bed to get ready and off to school.

It was a bonding session which was fun. But given that I wasn't in the best state of mind, almost anything they wanted to do I would constitute to be tiring in nature.

Finished at 1plus, reaching home at almost 3pm. Lay down in bed before deciding to do Micro research. At 6plus, I got a call from my dad saying he wanted to meet and would come and pick me up. So we went somewhere, went to town to pick up my step-mom from work and then back to my place cos my sisters happened to be there before finally heading to East Coast. Too lazy to eat anything substantial, I just wolfed down satay and chicken wings.

Reached home at 1am, an ungodly hour considering what I've been doing so far. And I was too tired to even turn on the TV to check the soccer scores. I usually do that. Pretty much always, except this time.

Woke up,continued doing work and research, by 4 I was out the door, off to a MIC Studio CCA meetinng at Starbucks @ Bugis Village.We had to finalize briefing plans for the upcoming Jan Intake Orientation. Reached home at 11. Finished up my article research and analysis. Off to bed at 1.

On Monday, I went back down to J8 to go to the briefing meeting with the project managers, ended at 830. Mind you, I cabbed down from school at 4pm, my day had started at 9am.

Today, I got up at 4 to catch the United match, after which I went to finish my Bus Stats tutorial. Caught a 45min nap before heading to school.

After school ended at 1, waited and met Nareeza so we could go study. Bout damn time I started, given that midterms are less than a week away. We studied from 2 to 930am. By 830pm, not much was going into my noggin.

Oh, and I got to know something about someone from Roswell Girl's dance group. Something to do with me. Shocking to know that they thought I thought a certain way. Apparently this person could access my blog and read it. I had no idea that she even knew that I had a blog! Then again, given that she was in the same dance group as Roswell Girl, this should be no surprise. This also vindicated my suspecting claims that Roswell Girl did read my blog, even though she said she didn't at a point in time.

Apparently I, with my Roswell shenanigans back in the day, was quite a hot topic in that dance group.

God, I feel so Hollywood, so celebrity.

Hahaha. Right.

Elfy came halfway (around 6?) and I got him to optimize this laptop's performance speed. It's a tad better now. Thanks for that. We just hung out at that study room till the school library's closing time. Went for dinner at KFC before Elfy and I cabbed home.

So, now here I am,typing up this post to you. Awfully tired, I am.

I think I'll leave now. The bed is beckoning.

I Don't Wanna Be (Anything Else, Only A Better Me)

2007-11-28T01:00:00.000+08:00

My biggest enemy is procrastination.

And it is colluding with my poor time management skills to prevent me from doing what I want to do.

The POM project is taking up most of my time. My group member just came down a with a case of chicken pox. Go figure. Another's also been sick for the past 2 days.

And damn, I have to lower my ego. Cos I need help for my Accounts. I need to ask for help. I'm particularly weak on the 'Depreciation', etc topics. I have no idea what 'amortization' concept is all about.(Cos I was sick and didn't come for the lecture)

Man United game on tonight. So, I'll stay up, do the project and catch a power nap in between. Already slept in the afternoon so I'm okay with burning the proverbial candle at both ends.

I'll go for my 1 hour lecture tomorrow, continue my POM project with my groupmates and then go home to sleep.

I wish I could just sit down and worry about nothing else (neither tutorials nor projects) but the treatment that I plan to submit to Dramatec. I wanna do it before I lose a couple of great ideas bouncing around in my head.

Hmm, I guess I'm content with my life. It is sufficient. I placate myself by saying it could be worse. But I also know it could be better.

Growing up, certain peers in my environment impressed upon me that I wouldn't amount to much.

But I think I've defied certain odds to get to where I am. If I listened to my detractors, I probably wouldn't have gotten very far.

So, when people tell me to ease up or tell me something won't happen or something can't be done, a part of me disagrees. I know, being smart is knowing when to back away but taking risks requires a certain degree of foolishness.

If the risk pays off, you'll look bloody brilliant. If it doesn't, then you'll look daft. Well, I figure, if I'm gonna look daft anyway, I might as well go down fighting and give it a decent shot.

And for the whole day, for some reason, my browser hasn't been able to access Movieforumz. I can't get my weekly dose of Heroes. Bollocks.

Random thought. Just for fun people, I'm not (that) delusional. But, suppose, if life had to be anything on TV, what would it be?

I think the more interesting answer would be Heroes or something like that. But, I think I would like my life to be something from the show 'One Tree Hill'. Teen dynamics with a touch of realism and a dash of maturity and a sprinkle of vulnerability. (For those who watch, I obviously like the 'Brucas' saga and I see a fair bit of 'Mouth' in me as well)

Well then again, my choice could be so because I was listening to Gavin Degraw's (he sang the show's theme song) 'Follow Through' when I came up with the random thought. So, maybe it wasn't that random.

It's Not Gonna Start With 'Once Upon A Time...'

2007-11-25T01:10:00.000+08:00

I missed a couple of lectures this week, very bad. I have to buck up for real. Being late despite having enough sleep is just plain stupid.

Anyways, I received a bit of news on Friday. Dramatec already has plans to re-stage a previous play for the next main production but they would like to encourage ideas from members, I guess for us to feel involved so they're inviting open scripts from members.

Now, if I end up not doing this I'm stupid. Not after going on at great lengths about wanting to go to Dramatec to have more chances to learn and better myself.

So, I have two weeks to come up with a script that is an 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours long. Never have I done anything that long in my life. The longest script I've been involved in only stretched to 20 minutes, and that was only a working draft. But it doesn't matter if my script doesn't get picked. At least I'll be able to work on it and improve cos they'll also be talking about scriptwriting in general. That was kind of the whole point of me going to Dramatec.

I do have reservations about my storyline. I mean, yeah, I think it's decent enough. But I am unsure whether the story is a bit out there, whether the context is applicable and not just fly over the audiences' head and leave them scratching their heads.

So, I was working on the flow of the story the whole morning. Basically, I worked on how the story flows and what happens. I'm in the midst of noting down what happens in each scene. Just a line or two. This will also help me know how many scenes there are. So, I haven't actually even begun to write the dialogue. Well, it's best to know how the story's gonna go first so I don't get stuck halfway. I already happy that I managed to come with with a storyline that flows and at least makes sense.

Other than that, spent the morning watching 'Goodfellas'. Another gangster movie. Also managed to watch 'Cashback' online recently.A decent indie flick.

There was supposed to be a PACESetters workshop on Friday and that would have clashed with Dramatec but thankfully, I received an email saying that it's been postponed to a future, yet to be known, date. Which means, I can just go for Dramatec.

Ahh, later on the in the afternoon I was trawling through the Net. TRYING to do research for a project. I swear I hate research part of a project the most. I did it all the way till about 1030 and all I got was...frustrated.

To compound matters, Man Utd lost in a tired, passionless display against a gritty and disciplined Bolton side. There was passion but not the right kind, channeled correctly. A kick up the pants was needed from the gaffer but it wasn't enough. Now we trail Arsenal by 3 points, giving those behind us to catch up as well.

Bummer.

Tomorrow, I shall continue with tutorials (I seem to do my tutorials slowly) plus more revision. Probably my Principles of Management. Don't even get me started on Business Accounting 2. I need major help in that. I got lucky with Accounting 1 to just escape with a C+. I doubt I'll get away with it this time round, especially if I continue the way I've been. And of course, I'll finish up the scene synopsis tomorrow as well. No going out? Except in the afternoon for an hour cos I need to but other that, yeah, by not I get to save a bit of money at least.

Off to dream.

End scene.

The Lone Stooge

2007-11-22T15:22:00.000+08:00

Okay, okay, why I am such a fuck-up today.

Firstly, I came to school and brought the wrong book to tutorial. You see, the book I had brought had the same back cover colour (orange) as the one that I was supposed to bring so I put the wrong one in my bag and happily brought it too school.

So, I had to sit through tutorial without my notes.

Next,I felt a sharp pain in my chest area as I was walking to class. Turned out, it was a clothes-pin stuck on the inside of my sweater. It was pressing and poking into my body. Thank God no one really saw it, I hope.

Today was also the day that I got my results for course streaming. I had set up my laptop and all, logged in and went to check but my course didn't appear on screen despite repeated attempts. So I had to go pack up my laptop which I had just only set up, go look for a lecturer and asked her to check for me.

So I got into Business. Corporate Communications here I come.

Just as I got back to the library and set up laptop again, a mate messaged to say he was ready to meet for lunch so I had to pack up...AGAIN and meet him.

After lunch, we went to slack at the nearby reservoir for a good 2 hours.

Talk about an absolute waste of time.

Definitely not the life of a model Temasek Polytechnic student.

After that near the library, after getting back from the long walk with great humidity I was tired, blur, my knee was hurting cos I just accidentally banged it against a railing and at my most 'fucked-uped' for the day, someone I know called out to me and I was looking at her friends who were all looking at me, expecting a response for a good 3 or 4 seconds before she had to call out to me again. This time, i responded, thankfully. But I must have looked liked an absolute nimrod and a weird bugger the first time round.

I am so socially inept today. Should have just stayed in bed.

Right,I'm off now. Will be late for Socio tutorial otherwise.

What's Really On Your Mind?

2007-11-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

Hopefully I'll keep it going.

Today, I declined heading to lunch because I had a great urge to go and tie up what I just learned in an Accounts lecture. So, I headed straight for the library alone and stuck to my guns, I tried to finish up some tutorial questions left undone and tried the latest tutorial exercise.

Later, I even went to ask the teacher to clarify the parts I didn't understand. I hardly do that. Usually, I'll ask for a quick explanation from my friends or just leave it and not ask at all.

So, this is new. I hope it lasts. Quite a timely change in attitude given that the mid-sems are only about 3 weeks away.

Saw a place online with casting calls for student films and indie films but unfortunately they're mostly looking for Chinese actors. Unfortunate, but I'll keep a look out on that site.

I have T.I.'s latest album in my hard disk. Close friends would know that he's been a favourite of mine for quite a while now.

There's been a lot of hype about this one titled ,"T.I. vs T.I.P.". He was also rated by an MTV braintrust as the 2nd hottest rapper in the game at the moment, behind Lil' Wayne and I won't argue. He's got the perfect blend of swagger and hard hitting lyrics. He's been guesting on a couple of hot tracks as well, like JT's My Love, DJ Khaled's "We Taking Over" & Nicole Scherzinger's "Whatever U Like"

He's currently under house arrest, upcoming trial for illegal possession of arms. Not a good role model, I know. But the music is way good. Good hip hop is good hip hop, the rest don't really matter to me. I listen to him almost every other day.

I have a couple of abstract thoughts.

Look at our lives. How 'Wisteria Lane' is it? (Wisteria Lane is where the story of 'Desperate Housewives is set. I don't watch it but I know enough)

Everything seems so fine, so happy. All smiles.

Have you ever wondered? I think we don't wonder for everybody cos we simply aren't able to be that selfless. We all have to think about ourselves in our daily lives, we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others, right?

So, since we don't literally wonder about everybody, I ask you to look at those around you. Whether it be someone you care deeply about or someone you interact with often for him/her to be a significant part of your daily life, just sometimes, pause and think, 'Are they masking themselves?'

Everybody masks their true emotions but some more than others.

Beneath that lovely smile that they show to the world, are they hurting?

I think too many times, we have taken that proverbial smile to be the truth and not stopped to take a closer and harder look to actually see that underneath it all lies a hidden range of emotions afraid to be let out so as not to display that person's weakness.

My point is simple, next time, take a closer look at that someone that you care about or someone that you interact with enough to reach a certain personal enough level, see if they are hiding hurt inside. Show sincere concern but not too much of course, it'll be too weird.

Just enough concern.

They may be thinking that no one cares and they have to carry a burden on the inside but maybe your show of concern may show them that they're not really alone and they might just have someone to go to if they want. They know that someone cares enough about them to bother to find out what they're really feeling.

Try that. It just might make them feel less alone. Even just by a bit, that's better than nothing and they'll appreciate that.

Scene, Song & Dance

2007-11-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

I guess I should update.

Lets see, chose Business for my course selection. So I did change my mind from my initial choice of Marketing.

A part of me says I should have specialized and deviated away from Business, having already had a Higher Nitec certificate from ITE. The other part says that I should just stick to something I know I can excel in and am interested in and add the fact that Corporate Communications & Tourism are option blocks for me to pursue under the Business diploma.

Certain aspects of Marketing do interest me. Brand Management,for example. But the fact that it's all mostly project based, is both a turn-on and a turn-off.

So I'll know by Thursday 10am, which direction I'll be heading in for the next two years.

School was pretty routine. POM project has started. Doing a wedding agency that specializes in honeymoon travel as well. Idea isn't too shabby. Heard worse before.

Last Thursday, I experienced my first real 5 hour break. I always had something in the way, like Deepavali and a MIC performance at Simei to take the feel away. This week, spent 2 hours with mates and hanging out at the canteen and 3 hours, using the Internet and re-watching one of my favourite movies on my laptop, Fight Club. Edward Norton is a great method actor.And he is rather underrated,I feel. I knew the laptop was gonna come in handy.

=)

So Friday was the day.It started at 7am, waking up for school. I only went for Micro and not Stats.I would go but that would mean that I would have to leave from TP to get SP where Wahida's show was and I didn't wanna bring books and stuff.

So, I was back home, changed and cabbed down to Dover from Sengkang.

The show was pretty good. I liked the issues that they addressed. Very relevant.

I mean, unfortunately, the Malay community has been tainted by the actions of a growing minority and these actions and activities are the focal point of this play.

What made it so fun was that it was brought across in a very light-hearted manner.

Wahida of course, was her usual effervescent self and I am hoping she will be given a meatier role next time cos she can do much more. So, in that sense, her role did not do her justice. I loved the character of the doctor. Found it amusing. I also liked how they portrayed a loose deviant girl as...a stray cat. The girl was made up and acted like a cat Cos you know, stray cats loiter everywhere, can be found outside of homes late at night and in this sense, rather...promiscuous. Just like deviant girls.

It would have been better if I had seen it during the evening show but couldn't.

Wanted to meet Wahida before I left but she couldn't get out of a debriefing. She messaged me and she wasn't happy with her performance. I told her I thought she did fine and any cock ups she made weren't noticeable. Besides, I'm sure she took the opportunity to brush up and put in a better one for the evening show. She is, as ever, the perfectionist.

I cabbed, again, back down to TP, where I met Zie, an ex-classmate. We were there to watch Roswell Girl perform.Also, one of my sec school friends, Elfy would be performing alongside her.

This show was their big annual one, involved all forms of the Malay Arts Group, comprising of dramia, dance and(Malay)choir.

There were technical glitches but I of course, attach no blame to the actors. I've never been in a production of that magnitude. The bigger the scale, the more the stress.It was on a pretty large scale so it must have been extremely stressful.The show itself was wonderful.It was very entertaining.

Of course, if I were to look at it from the conceptual point of view, the ending was weak and didn't carry the wonderful story that had developed through to the end. I felt that the problem was that they tried to fit in too many things (which did entertain lots) into the script and left no room for a solid ending.Roswell Girl herself was satisfied generally but also disappointed with certain aspects of the show.

I've only been in the (co-) producers' chair once and that one went pretty all right. But empathizing with them as drama people, actors, they did their job and did it well. That's all you can hope to do. Sometimes, other things are out of your control so you just do your job and aim to do well.

Of course, the cast are blameless. They were pretty talented. Roswell Girl did get to show her acting range. I honestly felt really sad during one of her monologues.I swear I did.I almost shed a tear.

She's great, as always.

I saw Elfy in a new light. Just like how I hope people see me in a new light. That I'm not that bumbling, painfully shy kid from secondary school who was afraid to say what he thought but rather, I am a still bumbling, outgoing kid who is open to new experiences and new people.

He's a very expressive and believable actor.

There were also very talented others in that show. I quite liked the two girls who played sisters.,Red & White. Intense stuff. I think White's in Dramatec as well so I'll get to meet her I guess.

He follows method acting.Like many student actors. Just like I aspire to. Just like my idols, Edward Norton,Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino and a bit of Johnny Depp.

So, you may be asking why is Khairul going for Malay shows when he has never been culturally adept? 2 in 1 day too. Hasn't he always been about the English language?

Well, the English language side is the side that I've most presented. People just assume that I have a poor command of my mother tongue, only on a necessary basic level. So people just assume. But the truth is, while I don't have the highest level of comprehension, I do know more than I let on.

What I took away from the whole thing was new ideas and inspiration that made me think of new things that I can use for my writing.

I even had a small idea for a play but I'll put that on hold till I finish writing my book.

I only got home at 4am on Saturday morning. LITERALLY did not have a bite, other than 2 POLO mints and a can of Red Bull.

I had to use my pay to go and foot the bill to reconnect the cable and the Internet connection. I'll be only getting it back when my mom pays me back along with my allowance on the 28th. Now I must wait.

Hmmph.

I was unsure whether I wanted to go out today. Given that I had only 5 hours of sleep. And spent loads of money cabbing down( I had to call for a cab during peak hour from Dover to Tampines)

But I'm so bored. Guess it's for my own good.

Damn, I forgot, a Hayden Panettiere "Claire Bennett" lookalike was gonna be down at The Heeren.I possibly could have went, the closest I would be to the real thing, since she didn't come down to Singapore during the Heroes world tour.

I must find ways to entertain myself tonight.

Urgh, I guess I could study.

Oh, I saw a site where they had casting calls but as usual, they were looking for Chinese people to fill the roles.

I also saw filmmaking/acting/scriptwriting workshops. But they cost $$$$. I wish I had a long-term part-time job.

Claire Bennett From Odessa, Texas

2007-11-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is my streaming selection. Marketing is still edging it over Business. Things might change overnight, we'll see. Going to school early to make sure I can get into the system and put in my choice. It's on a first come first serve basis. People will be rushing into system and it will be clogged up. Just want to make sure I can get in.

'Heroes' debuts on local free-to-air TV on Channel 5 today. It was so nice to see the 1st episode again.

I admit, when Hayden first appeared on screen again, I couldn't help but break into a little smile. It was kind of nice to see her character confused about her powers and at the same time knowing how she's going to grow into this tough, determined character who is in control of her powers.

"A girl with a sad little smile" - Peter Petrelli.

Cute little smile. =)

Oh, that reminds me. Episode 8 of Season to will be available tomorrow. Must watch. Things have just gotten crazy.

Previously, she was with Stephen Colletti of Laguna Beach fame. Now, she's been linked with co-star Milo Ventimiglia, who plays Peter Petrelli on the show, though the pair maintain that they're just friends. Don't they all do that?

I thought she looked better with Stephen.

She was recently in Japan trying to save the dolphins from being slaughtered by Japanese fishermen. Made the news too. She was in tears. Especially when she was talking about this baby dolphin that ended up getting killed. Grrr, Japanese fishermen made her cry.

Lol. I'm having a laugh here. Clearly, I've overdosed on TV shows and movies. The side effects include having a strange fixation on Hayden Panettiere. Now, it's strange cos while she is without a doubt cute as a button, I don't like, have a crush on her or anything. If I could actually meet her, it would be a different story.

Even if I did meet her,I'd want to act as a cool dude than a geeked-out fan.

I don't think I have a crush on her. Cos I'm still very much focused on real life girls. That's why I use the words 'strange fixation' rather than 'crush'. Trust me, I'm definitely focused on real-life girls and not a weird small-screen crush.

Lol.

Yeah, I admit, the whole purpose of this post was Hayden.

I may not have a crush on her but they're ain't no denying she way fly.

I was bored but I wanted to post something. So, there, a post that is totally a waste fo time for people who aren't interested in Heroes/Hayden to read.

How Depressing

2007-11-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

Spent Saturday buried in tutorials. I also have to prepare for a Bus Stats test which constitutes 5% of my overall grade. I ain't loving it, i'm loathing it. Anyone who knows me close enough will know that numbers aren't my thing.

Consoled myself during breaks by putting Veoh videos onto my hard disk. Managed quite a few. Also managed to get T.I.'s latest album.

So I've got more content to entertain myself with if I need to, whenever I'm bored.

Still no closer to choosing between Business and Marketing.

I got an email about a PACE workshop. It's on the 23rd, a Friday. It clashes with drama. See, this was the kind of problem I was anticipating.

*Sigh*

Already missed last Friday's. Going to miss this Friday's cos of my friends' performances and now, next Friday.

*Sigh*

At least last Friday was way decent. Simplistic arrangements for an hour or two was enough to be the setting for a good time to reminisce It was very nice, very lovely. I wanna say it would be nice to do it again but knowing our differing hectic schedules, it will be difficult.

It's the three-week mark. I told myself that I would consolidate all that I've had to learn every three weeks. Easier said than done apparently.

I wish I could sit down and just focus but no, I always have something else to do or somewhere I have to be. I need better time management.

*Sigh*

Now, back to my tutorials.

Outlook for tomorrow, more tutorials.

I so feel like pulling my hair out.

Weapon Of Choice

2007-11-08T21:07:00.000+08:00

I actually didn't want to blog this out cos it may seem to boring to be a topic and I didn't really want to talk about it till I made my choice but it's turning out to be a very hard decision. Who knows, typing it all out may help.

On Tuesday, at 10am, I have to go and choose my specialization diploma. It's between Business (BUS), Logistics & Operations Management (LOM) and Marketing (MKT). At first, it was a straight fight between BUS and MKT but recently, I've was part of a brainwashing attempt by my tutor about LOM. Yeah, I heard pretty good things about LOM.

Business is a popular choice cos a lot of students don't know what to choose yet and they are unsure what to specialize in so they take the general choice.I have pretty much the same logic. Going into Business would be pretty much doing the same thing I've been doing for the past 3 years, ITE included.Job prospects are good pretty easy to find but there will be a lot of competition, not just from my diploma; which has the biggest intake of the 3 diplomas but also from other polys. A Bus diploma is a pretty common one.

MKT is, erm, I guess of a much more creative vein. I'll have to learn to not only speak well but to speak convincingly. Creativity is also needed. As for job prospects, will be a little tricky. Things will be mundane when I start out cos I'll probably have to do all the routine jobs first. Things will get hectic and exciting after a while cos I imagine to be all conceptualization and projects and deadlines and stuff like that.

LOM...I think in terms of academics is one that I'm least interested in, meaning I don't think I'll like studying it's specialized stuff as compared to MKT or BUS' general-ish modules. Okay, I don't know whether I'm being too pessimistic or I'm just being honest.Maybe the modules do suck or maybe I can cope with them anyway.

Job future in LOM, sounds the best out of the 3, or maybe that's cos it the most recent one I heard. But apparently, this industry is on the rise, going to be backed by the government and largely less by economic ups and downs as compared to the other 2 diplomas. Cos logistics is always gonna be needed. BUS and MKT, a lot more prone to the effects of recession.

It shouldn't matter right? Cos I'm aiming to do Political Science as a degree right? But the thing is, I've still got NS to do after poly and I'm not sure I'll be doing a degree straight away cos of the money and I'll have to work for a year or two to get experience and a bit of that cash money,for sure.

So, might as well be an industry I can see myself working in. But I have to be interested in studying in it in the first place. Cos if I don't like it, I might not do well.

Academic INTEREST
1. Business
2. Marketing
3. Logistics

Employment INTEREST
1. Marketing
2.Business
3.Logistics

Employment PROSPECT
1. Logistics
2. Marketing
3. Business

So there, I've tried to rank it. For the 3rd one, at least that's what I think my chances are getting a job with that particular diploma.

So,if I were to average it out, Marketing edges it ahead of Business.

So, I'm back to where I started. =|

Now it begs the question. Do I want to take the risk with Marketing? Or do I wanna play it safe with Business, something I've been doing for the past 3 years? Yeah, I've taken Marketing before as a module in ITE and did well too but this is a whole different ball game cos it'll be more in depth, as it should be since it's diploma level stuff.

At least I hope I've gotten Logistics out of the way. I've come to the conclusion that it's great but it isn't me. It may have good prospects but again, it just isn't me. I just don't see myself firstly, studying, and then working in the logistics industry as great as it's gonna be in the future.

I hope I don't change my mind over Logistics.

I'll keep mulling over Business and Marketing.

A whole post talking about 3 diplomas? Now, after doing it, I don't see why not cos after all, I'll be doing this thing for the next 2 years. The least I can do is try to seriously weigh up my options.

It wouldn't be so difficult if I was in Media Studies, it would be the Journalism line for me no doubt but that's a really old story. I didn't get in so that's the end of that.

Lets hope I have a clearer picture by Tuesday morning.